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You've challenged my decision before on this forum when I said I'm never having kids. I know you're slightly younger than me and you look forward to having kids. But that doesn't mean everyone has to want what you want. I accept the fact that your goals differ from mine. Why can't you accept the fact that my goals differ from yours?
Herd instinct; assumption that everyone follows nearly the same Life Script ...
That's why, on general discussion boards like this, whenever someone talks about the decision to be childfree I prefer to point them to a board that is specific for that subject. The Childfree Life is the most moderate and active.
On a board like this, there are CF posters, but you also have to put up with the yabbutters ("yeah, but..") and those who will have no respect for your decision. The Childfree Life board also has a forum for fence sitters, so if you are of the mind that you believe yourself to be childfree but want to engage those still undecided, the discussion won't involve those who utter the loathsome "never say never". These people merely say "I'm not sure."
Hah...my SO's dad is a New Yorker. He was 21 when my SO was born.
Had two more sons with SO's mom (his first wife...they were college students and parents forced the issue when she got pregnant with SO).
Decided he didn't want anymore kids after they divorced, and married a lady who also didn't want kids. She hit her upper 30s and decided she did want kids, after all...they had a daughter (SO's dad was 50!), and subsequently split up.
Now SO's dad is dating a 27-year old who says no kids for her. Hopefully, that works out for him. I'm healthily skeptical, myself.
But so much for NYers being older parents. He's done it both ways, and he didn't want to be a parent, at all!
That's the way it is in New York. I have a relative in New York that got married and had kids in his 40s.
It is very common in New York. I'm not saying that EVERYONE waits until their 30's and 40's to have children - but many do. I think it also depends on your social circle. Most of the people in my social circle are fairly career oriented. Marriage and children are important - but most wanted to establish themselves in their given field before they had children. My husband's college friends are all from the south - they all got married shortly after or right after college and started having children a few years later. So all of his college friends have 2-3 children while most of my friends have just had their first or don't have any children yet.
It is very common in New York. I'm not saying that EVERYONE waits until their 30's and 40's to have children - but many do. I think it also depends on your social circle. Most of the people in my social circle are fairly career oriented. Marriage and children are important - but most wanted to establish themselves in their given field before they had children. My husband's college friends are all from the south - they all got married shortly after or right after college and started having children a few years later. So all of his college friends have 2-3 children while most of my friends have just had their first or don't have any children yet.
I think it has to do with cost of living. Since New York (the part near NYC at least) is expensive, it takes longer for people to reach a point where they can afford kids. But if you live somewhere cheap in the South, it's easier to afford kids at a younger age.
I guess that goes along with your idea that people in New York want to establish themselves in their careers/wait until they're financially stable before having kids
That being said, not everyone waits until they can afford kids, made obvious by the parents my age and younger
Ok I know I messed up in my last post about entitlement attitude parents, but this time it really is relationship related. As the title says, do most guys in their 20s want kids? Even if I'm young, I'm actually certain I don't want kids. I just don't have the maternal instinct. I am by no means a childhater, but I don't want the 24/7 responsibility. Plus I don't have patience for kids under age 5. So in the next few years, will I have trouble finding a Christian man who doesn't want kids?
Nothing wrong with not wanting kids. I had a great Mom, she died when I was 20. I could never do that job......at least I knew my limitations.
Nothing wrong with not wanting kids. I had a great Mom, she died when I was 20. I could never do that job......at least I knew my limitations.
I knew, really knew, at a really young age that I didn't want children. I remember being a kid and preferring to hang out with the adults... I didn't care for the meanness that kids seem to be.
I was also afraid to screw up the kids..... I know now that I would have been a good dad.... I don't have any real regrets about not having kids... I think that some people were just meant to not have children.. I actually don't minds kids at all. I just knew it wasn't for me, the funny thing is that I never recieved to much flack from my family about it... That kind of surprised me to be honest.
Maybe they thought I'd be a screw up as a parent... who knows
I will never want kids, 22 year old male here. They would restrict the ability to live my life the way I want to without much benefit. I like my freedom just fine.
It runs in my family (on my mom's side) to not want kids. I don't want kids and two of my cousins don't want kids either (both cousins are on my mom's side of the family).
I knew, really knew, at a really young age that I didn't want children. I remember being a kid and preferring to hang out with the adults... I didn't care for the meanness that kids seem to be.
I was also afraid to screw up the kids..... I know now that I would have been a good dad.... I don't have any real regrets about not having kids... I think that some people were just meant to not have children.. I actually don't minds kids at all. I just knew it wasn't for me, the funny thing is that I never recieved to much flack from my family about it... That kind of surprised me to be honest.
Maybe they thought I'd be a screw up as a parent... who knows
imo, life isnt A+B=C....
having a child, for women , used to be de rigeur...my neighbor had 3 sons nice guys, but the hubby cheats on her left and right.
Sometimes I may wish I had a kid....but I know Ive been true to my heart...and its about how you feel, not stupid society or external junk.
I kind of agree and I would add that Christians see children as a blessing from God. I don't know any Christians that do not want children, but I do know plenty that are waiting in the near future. It's interesting because I encounter with people (whether they are Christians or not) who desire to have kids, but my observation on this forum is that a lot of the members do not want kids. My best guess is that you might struggle to find a Christian man who do not want kids, but they are definitely out there.
Well I'm a non-fundamentalist Christian and childfree male. I do not see children as a blessing.
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