Do most guys in their 20s want kids? (marry, single, young)
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We're ticked off because "family" and kids are shoved down our throats on a daily basis. We can't walk into a store, movie theater, coffee shop or even in some cases a bar without hearing screaming, squealing children. We have to deal with everything being "family friendly." We have to put up with cliche after cliche about how "your life isn't complete until you have kids" and "it's all worth it" and other such trite nonsense. Nothing is geared toward the childfree -- especially not where I live, which is basically the "family" capital of the nation. Rural Minnesota. Kiddesota.
I would be happy not to talk about being childfree and just focus on other aspects of life, but I can't, because people -- including friends and family -- keep trying to convince me to want kids.
Then move. If you aren't happy where you are - you can always move. Where I live, none of my friends had children until their 30's - we are all just starting now. And some of my friends don't intend to have children. Most restaurants are not child friendly and children and families are not being "shoved down your throat."
I had no idea there was this much animosity on this subject. It's really just a personal decision - some people want children, some don't. If you don't want children and you have them - you are making a huge mistake. If you want children and you don't have them - you might regret it. We are all different and should live our lives the way we want to.
I still can't understand why the OP has such a big issue with this at 19 years of age.
I actually agree with this. I'm a Christ follower and I'm staunchly childfree, but I'm an extreme rarity. Most childfree are atheist or agnostic, and most Christians love children. I don't think I've ever met another Christian who is childfree.
Ya I know. We are a severe minority. In all honesty, I'd rather help kids in need in Third World countries than to have my own.
Then move. If you aren't happy where you are - you can always move. Where I live, none of my friends had children until their 30's - we are all just starting now. And some of my friends don't intend to have children. Most restaurants are not child friendly and children and families are not being "shoved down your throat."
I'm strongly considering it. I'm originally from Michigan, and I'm in the process of looking for jobs in my hometown. Michigan is much more childfree-friendly.
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had no idea there was this much animosity on this subject. It's really just a personal decision - some people want children, some don't. If you don't want children and you have them - you are making a huge mistake. If you want children and you don't have them - you might regret it. We are all different and should live our lives the way we want to.
I still can't understand why the OP has such a big issue with this at 19 years of age.
Unless you're childfree, you won't understand. As a "family person," you are in the majority. We childfree are the extreme minority. A member of the majority can never understand how an extreme minority feels.
As I said earlier, I'd be fine to just "live and let live" when parents and wannabe parents stop telling me to have kids. I don't really enjoy talking about being childfree, because it's such an awkward subject, but it always comes up in conversation.
I'm strongly considering it. I'm originally from Michigan, and I'm in the process of looking for jobs in my hometown. Michigan is much more childfree-friendly.
Unless you're childfree, you won't understand. As a "family person," you are in the majority. We childfree are the extreme minority. A member of the majority can never understand how an extreme minority feels.
As I said earlier, I'd be fine to just "live and let live" when parents and wannabe parents stop telling me to have kids. I don't really enjoy talking about being childfree, because it's such an awkward subject, but it always comes up in conversation.
I'm 35 and pregnant with my first. I was childfree for 35 years. I'm older than you and have been childfree for longer. It was never an issue. When people asked me about children - I said I wasn't ready. It is nobody's decision but mine and my husband's. It isn't anyone else's business. I never cared what anyone else thought. I certainly wasn't going to have children before I was ready just to make other people happy. And I have lots of friends that are still childfree - some of whom plan on being childfree forever. Like I said, it's really not an issue here.
I'm 35 and pregnant with my first. I was childfree for 35 years. I'm older than you and have been childfree for longer. It was never an issue. When people asked me about children - I said I wasn't ready. It is nobody's decision but mine and my husband's. It isn't anyone else's business. I never cared what anyone else thought. I certainly wasn't going to have children before I was ready just to make other people happy. And I have lots of friends that are still childfree - some of whom plan on being childfree forever. Like I said, it's really not an issue here.
I just want to clarify something -- no offense intended. "Childfree" does not mean "doesn't have kids yet." Childfree means NEVER wanting kids. If you were childless for 35 years, but wanted kids eventually, you were never childfree. A childfree person NEVER, EVER, under ANY circumstances, wants children.
I just want to clarify something -- no offense intended. "Childfree" does not mean "doesn't have kids yet." Childfree means NEVER wanting kids. If you were childless for 35 years, but wanted kids eventually, you were never childfree. A childfree person NEVER, EVER, under ANY circumstances, wants children.
I understand - like I said, I have friends who are childfree. In NYC - it really isn't an issue. We just moved to the suburbs recently and I have some childfree neighbors here, too. But in NYC - it's really easier to not have children. Having children is hard in NYC - you have to negotiate the subways and grocery stores with a stroller, if you go to a restaurant that isn't so child friendly - you will probably get dirty looks if your child cries, etc. It's a lot harder with kids than with out kids.
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Originally Posted by northstar22
I'm in my mid-20s, so you are older than me. It's OK, no need to apologize.
I understand - like I said, I have friends who are childfree. In NYC - it really isn't an issue. We just moved to the suburbs recently and I have some childfree neighbors here, too. But in NYC - it's really easier to not have children. Having children is hard in NYC - you have to negotiate the subways and grocery stores with a stroller, if you go to a restaurant that isn't so child friendly - you will probably get dirty looks if your child cries, etc. It's a lot harder with kids than with out kids.
It's the complete opposite where I live. Most people are married by 21 and have children before reaching the age of 25. People have BIG families here, too. It's not uncommon to see people with four or five kids, all with cutesy, matching names. Everything, including restaurants and gathering places, is "family-friendly." It's torture for the childfree. NYC would be a breath of fresh air . . . except I'm totally not a city person. Michigan is a good compromise for me.
I have ZERO, ZERO, ZERO desire to "start a family." Why would I want that? Why would I WANT to tie myself down to a bunch of children for the rest of my life? I like my freedom. I like being able to travel, drive a small car, move at will and serve others without having to worry about kids. I couldn't care less about the "family cliches" like soccer games, holidays, etc. -- it's just not for me.
Definitely this.
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