Why is it important to make people think during dating that our weekends are always EXCITING?????? (jealous, personality)
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THIS! was the CAUSAL reason for my divorce, the accusation that I was a homebody, factually expressed as "he's cheap and boring". Pretty shallow-water, as far as divorces go. But that's not the point.
The point I do want to make is that I've become quite aware of the tendency to characterize homebody behavior pejoratively. Honestly, who the eff made it so?!?! I can highlight just as easy the vapid and hollow condition of the perma-escapism seeking peanut gallery, but you don't see me scoffing them publicly (other than on C-D of course lol). Seriously, what gives?
In my ever ambivalent participation in the cesspool that is modern dating for the child bearing age crowd, the former is almost always the central question posed when people engage you. It's like my mother asking about the weather...expected. If the answer doesn't fall under the scope of the proverbial "jetted to Rio on Friday, woke up to the sunrise atop Cristo Redentor, swam with dolphins and threw a party at the beach, flew back on Sunday and met up with another crew at a cocktail lounge....then back to my job sucking air at Olive Garden on Monday..how bout u?" then it's all of a sudden blasphemy. Gimme a freggin...
The reality is that I don't believe people change. Not on a dime anyways. And there's a lot of that out there and it's pretty scary, if not outright disingenuous. Get that hyped stuff out of your system, or don't, but don't portray your life as balanced or nurturing enough to actually be seeking and prepared for a lifelong relationship, under such demands. That's my only objection to the "what you do this weekend?" crowd. Their weekend routines are just as lackluster and commoner as mine, I'm just the only one honest about it. Of course, I don't pin my hopes and dreams of happiness on conditional human companionship either, so perhaps I'm more carefree about airing my dirty laundry than they're willing to be..
And True, I don't expect a 20 yo to be an accomplished conversationalist, I just don't appreciate the normalization of HER reality as overarching Truth and the benchmark with which to judge our collective existences with. In that respect, our hedonism and fear of our own freggin' shadow glows like a spent nuclear warhead over the night sky of discontent with our unacknowledged "ordinary American" existence. How's that for cheap and boring?
The reality is that there is NO negative quality to being who you are, for that is ALL that you have in this vinyl siding façade of a social life. These cheery benchmarks are garbage. If a person is so unimaginative and so fretting of social disapproval that they actually gage your quality and condition based on whether or not you went floating down the river with the rest of the spendthrift dolts on Saturday, then that's probably a person you wouldn't want to rely on when when you're dying of cancer and just want someone who doesn't mind "being boring with you.." 'Cause let me tell you folks, if I've learned ANYTHING in this "win some, lose some" life of mine, is that one is much better off judging the character of the company you keep when your life absolutely sucks, rather than when the Gods and the Suns are shining every day of your week. I don't need friends when the sky is blue, I need them when the world is collapsing on me. That's the true measure of Love in my book, when it costs YOU emotionally to carry my Cross. I might as well write this in Latin though....
Good topic, great theme for my blog input this "boring" weekend
Sorry to hear about your divorce man...that sucks. You hit a nerve with me though...not many here have done so, but t its a DOUBLE Standard. Women can sit home and be boring slobs and its OK, when men do it well....you know. I actually find myself trying to out due any woman I know when it comes to social activity or having A LIFE. And its a lot of work. Its like a stupid game I HAVE TO PLAY even I really dont feel like eating out, I dont feel like buying tickets for Beyonce, I really dont want to buy plane tickets for US Metro X....but I do them because giving a woman the opportunity to bash me for being low key not only irritates me, makes me feel small as a man, but I am a man and you know us Men are not supposed to have feelings so....its better to just lie or exaggerate what activity I did this weekend.
Sorry to hear about your divorce man...that sucks. You hit a nerve with me though...not many here have done so, but t its a DOUBLE Standard. Women can sit home and be boring slobs and its OK, when men do it well....you know. I actually find myself trying to out due any woman I know when it comes to social activity or having A LIFE. And its a lot of work. Its like a stupid game I HAVE TO PLAY even I really dont feel like eating out, I dont feel like buying tickets for Beyonce, I really dont want to buy plane tickets for US Metro X....but I do them because giving a woman the opportunity to bash me for being low key not only irritates me, makes me feel small as a man, but I am a man and you know us Men are not supposed to have feelings so....its better to just lie or exaggerate what activity I did this weekend.
I just got this question recently........"what are your plans for the weekend?
I just got this question recently........"what are your plans for the weekend?
My answer............"laundry"
Man I just got that question via text from the older babe I'm dating and I would never say laundry even though I do that on Sunday morning.
Come on man, stop being a bore. tell her you were thinking of going to grab some mexican food and have a few drinks and maybe hit a jazz club and than say to her, what are you plans? (those are my actual plans this weekend. that's what I told my gal)
No one said you need to be party central but at least come across as if you're somone people would like to hang out with.
Man I just got that question via text from the older babe I'm dating and I would never say laundry even though I do that on Sunday morning.
Come on man, stop being a bore. tell her you were thinking of going to grab some mexican food and have a few drinks and maybe hit a jazz club and than say to her, what are you plans? (those are my actual plans this weekend. that's what I told my gal)
No one said you need to be party central but at least come across as if you're somone people would like to hang out with.
I tell girls that some weekends I'm IN and some weekends i'm OUT because going out involves money and sometimes the money is tight.
Sign.....man, I know this is old but you can do better than that.
What was wrong with this date in the summer time? She liked enough to see me 3 more times after date 2.
I will say though that when I was at the waterfront I didn't expect to see silly teenagers and they got me out of my romantic mood because I was on guard and watching them the entire time just in case they wanted to try silly mess
Hate to burst your bubble and destroy your illusions but LOTS of people do.
But last weekend was a 3 day weekend because of the "holiday'
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