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Here are two examples of douchebag and non-douchebag guys from my own dating experience. Tell me which one you think is alpha and which one is beta.
Guy A: I called him and left a voice mail. He called me back later that day. He asked me to visit him, paid for my train ticket, and picked me up at the train station. He treated me well, remembered my birthday. My mother really liked him.
Guy B: Getting this guy on the phone was difficult. I really liked him and regarded him as a tortured soul, misunderstood by all except me and my boundless capacity for forgiveness and sympathy. He cheated on me several times; the last time was with a plain, chubby girl he ridiculed openly on several occasions.
My guess is that Guy A is beta to you; he is my husband, of course. We've been married for 16 years, have three kids and a good life, and I'm not bad to look at. He gets all the sex he wants, and I take care of him. He seems pleased with his life. He's a computer programmer! We live in the suburbs and have a minivan! The stultifying beta existence! Except that he's a sexy mofo and we have lots of fun.
Guy B is a boyfriend I had in high school. He and the chubby girl have two kids now, although they're not married. From what this woman has told me and others (we have several mutual friends), he also has children with two other women and has cheated on all of them in different configurations. He lives in Vegas, dates a stripper ... he's a playa! He must be an alpha, envied by men and desired by women everywhere. Except that he's a loser. ... Well, maybe he has lots of fun, who knows. People have different ideas of what success is.
Good call, sounds like my life, im a chemical engineer and my wife gives me all the spicy sex I could want. The attitudes in these posts are actually what make us greatful for each other.
If you were a black guy and acted like a...douche?...great, but whatever, and someone rightly referred to you as a n*gger then that would be right as rain? I don't give a flying fig about the back and forth between Denny and the other members here, but I'll call a spade a spade. The incessant references to things that involve women as the end all be all of what's negative sucks. How about folk just pause once in a while? I mean, if folk can't even figure out the meaning, or better yet, the value of their own words then damn, it's just sad.
Perhaps not all, but someone is holding you to a higher standard.
^^This is so off topic. What does this have to do with trying to define the "beta female?"
So far, we have two competing definitions of the beta female.
1. A woman who is submissive as opposed to exhibiting dominant qualities
2. A woman who is not that attractive
Many people argue that the first definition is the only definition of a beta female. But then that begs the question of how that definition is at all relevant in a relationship discussion forum. Even if we were to assume, arguendo, that attracting women (or not attracting women) is ancillary to being a alpha/beta male, the bottom line is that those men possess or lack qualities to varying degrees that make them attractive or unattractive to the opposite sex.
So is the submissive woman (beta female) the equivalent of the submissive male (beta male)? If we're talking about the person who gets first dibs on the most attractive members of the opposite sex, then the answer is no. A man can be a highly paid professional who dominates the boardroom and yet struggle with women. A woman can be a highly paid professional who dominates the boardroom and struggle getting attention from men (because she's ugly). A mild-mannered woman, who would rather be a librarian than a fierce civil litigator, can have her choice in men if her face is pretty enough and her body is curvy enough. She will attract a higher quality of man than the female CEO no matter how many deals she lands.
I see your point, but I fail to see the point in using it at all. Why call your wife a b*tch rather than telling her she's selfish, controlling, or whatever? Specific descriptors for the behavior she's exhibiting.
I suppose I could call her an a-hole, but I've never heard that word applied to women. I guess someone needs to come with a word that can be used for men and women.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bosco55David
You mean that I'm a cocky, hyper-aggressive, narcissist? Hell I could have saved you the trouble had you just asked.
And a couple other things which you're in denial of.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BajanYankee
So is the submissive woman (beta female) the equivalent of the submissive male (beta male)? If we're talking about the person who gets first dibs on the most attractive members of the opposite sex, then the answer is no.
Exactly. For most men, looks trump personality. That's not to say personality doesn't matter, but it's rare that a woman can make up for her looks by displaying alpha behavior. On the other hand, a man may not be physically attractive, but his personality is what draws women to him. This is why you'll often hear women say confidence is the most attractive quality in a man.
the beta female is not a bossy, raging b*tch, and is thus more appealing for a relationship.
what i find puzzling is how so many (mainly younger) women will try and glorify those aggressive, b*tchy aspects of their personality as if it were an asset.
Beta females are not the same as beta males. At least they aren't viewed by their own sex as being any less secure, less competitive maybe, but not any less of a woman. Beta females also seem to be more desireable to men, whereas beta males aren't attractive to most woman, at least not the ones I know to include myself.
Much has been said and discussed on this C-D forum about the non-alpha a.k.a. "beta" male. However, interestingly enough and as far as I can tell, relatively little has been said about the personality characteristics of non-alpha ("beta") females.
How do you define a "beta" female, and how exactly does she differ from her alpha-female counterpart?
Your thoughts please?
Beta females have huge advantages in dating over beta males.
I love how there's always some guy who equates feminism with being b****y.
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Except that he's a sexy mofo and we have lots of fun.
