People say you'll get a girlfriend when you're not looking (dating, boyfriend)

[city_data91]

But if that's true, then I would have a girlfriend. Or a girl would at least show interest in me. Right?

Because I'm content to be single, so I'm not looking for a girlfriend. If a girl showed interest in me, I might decline since I'm content to be single. But it would be nice if a girl showed interest in me, and I would be open to the idea of a relationship with the right girl.

Do you think the saying "you'll get a girlfriend when you're not looking" is true? Is/was it true for you?

[Garfunkle524]

Originally Posted by city_data91

But if that's true, then I would have a girlfriend. Or a girl would at least show interest in me. Right?

Because I'm content to be single, so I'm not looking for a girlfriend. If a girl showed interest in me, I might decline since I'm content to be single. But it would be nice if a girl showed interest in me, and I would be open to the idea of a relationship with the right girl.

Do you think the saying "you'll get a girlfriend when you're not looking" is true? Is/was it true for you?

Here's my interpretation of this saying:

"An attractive woman will get a boyfriend when she's not looking."

Said attractive women say the original line because they assume it applies to everybody (man, woman, fat, skinny, cute, ugly) and it very clearly does not.

This is based on experience of course.

[le roi]

Originally Posted by city_data91

Do you think the saying "you'll get a girlfriend when you're not looking" is true?

i suppose it might be true for certain groups -- celebrities, male models, lesbians.

but for the bulk of heterosexual men it is counterproductive. i suppose it is the sort of lie you might direct toward a guy who is having short term emotional problems when it comes to dating, to keep them from jumping off a bridge or something.

[city_data91]

Originally Posted by Garfunkle524

Here's my interpretation of this saying:

"An attractive woman will get a boyfriend when she's not looking."

Said attractive women say these things because they assume it applies to everybody (man, woman, fat, skinny, cute, ugly) and it very clearly does not.

If a woman is attractive, she should be able to get a boyfriend whether she's looking or not.

[funymann]

See...women like it when you don't pursue them. SO .. If you are not pursuing them then there is a good chance she may then pursue you.

Act as though you don't know she exists when every other man around has his tongue hanging out and she will wonder about you.

[le roi]

Originally Posted by funymann

See...women like it when you don't pursue them. SO .. If you are not pursuing them then there is a good chance she may then pursue you.

Act as though you don't know she exists when every other man around has his tongue hanging out and she will wonder about you.

...and then what?

wait for her to talk to you?

[funymann]

Originally Posted by city_data91

If a woman is attractive, she should be able to get a boyfriend whether she's looking or not.

not necessarily. I have met some really doosees.

They may be attractive but lack everything else.

Jessica Simpson.

Need I say more?

[stan4]

Yes. I have only had one gf that I actively 'looked for.' Everyone else kinda found me or just fell in my lap.

[dangles]

Its one of many ways of binary thinking that is counterproductive but has some truth to it. The act of looking for a girlfriend leaves said guy in a mindset that they need something for their lives. This usually results in a level of desperation which is something women can sense. Its not a very attractive trait. When you aren’t looking for a girlfriend ( but are still getting with women), you give off a less desperate attitude, and do not put a random girl on the pedestal. This makes the women work to get you, which is why those who aren’t ‘looking’ usually have an easier time. The devil is in the details.

Lets be clear. If you aren’t pursuing women, you won’t get them. You have to make an effort. On the other hand, if you pursue too much , that too will hurt your chances.

[Dewdroplet76]

I think this is what people say to their friends when they friends are overly desperate. I know I've said it to my friends in those situations. And they have usually found someone when they stop being so obviously desperate. However, my girlfriends are attractive... so take that for what it's worth.

I also don't think it was meant to be so literal. Obviously, not every single person is going to find themselves in a relationship once they stop looking. But I think there is such a thing as trying too hard. Sometimes, once you stop trying so hard, love has a way of finding you.