People say you'll get a girlfriend when you're not looking (marrying, girl)
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If my type of dating doesn't lead to marriage or sex, what's wrong with that? There are sexless relationships and there are relationships that don't result in marriage.
Here you go - the perfect site in which you can find a category which fits you to a "t":
Yeah, I mean, kinda. Being richer, in better shape, and ambitious can only help a guy. But that does not mean he'll have women actively pursuing him (not the attractive ones anyway). For the most part, girls don't "court" guys. Men approach, women are approached. Men hunt, women are hunted. From a woman's perspective (especially an attractive woman), why would you "court" a man where the whole game is set up where the guy has to initiate? That's why our friend can't just improve his wealth, mind state, etc and neglect improving his skills with girls by going out and flirting with them.
A visual representation of why simply "improving yourself" does not work.
Your picture argument is non-sequitar. Showing a picture of 30 chumps is not proof or an antithesis for a man to better himself. Sure , an attractive women will have a ton of suitors, but is she going for any of those average guys? No. she will probably be going for someone with a combination of money, status, and aesthetics.
If given two choices, why would one opt for stagnation? As a proponent of self improvement, I have my success to back my claims that self improvement will get you more women and make you happier. Do I get the best looking women yet? No. but this is hardly evidence that self improvement doesn’t work. You have to play the game, but why not play it to the best of your ability?
CD91, your scenario is very contradictive, i'm not sure why you would want to date someone when you have no intention of having sex with or marrying them, Ive seen what you look like and no disrespect, but you don't have what is what would be termed traditional good looks, even if you did, women typically do not approach, so you are going to have to approach women. But it seems like you don't care to put the effort in so don't act suprised that you have no girl, I mean realistically, an average looking guy that NEVER wants to have sex, or get married, what reasonable woman is going to deal with that, what is in it for her?
1. Yes, I am content to be single.
2. However, I would be open to the idea of dating/having a girlfriend if the right girl showed interest in me
3. You might think dating is supposed to lead to intimacy or marriage. But not me. I couldn't care less about intimacy and I'm never getting married. As far as I'm concerned, dating is not about intimacy or marriage.
With this said, I do not think you want a girlfriend after all...it seems you want more of a "buddy" or a companion.
If you find someone like you said in #2 above, I think it would be only fair to her that you told her about #3 above and then see where it leads. Otherwise, you will break her heart and if that was your intention just to see if you could actually get someone to fall for you, then that is just cruel.
Do you think the saying "you'll get a girlfriend when you're not looking" is true? Is/was it true for you?
No, I don't think this is true. You're essentially telling the person to rely on luck, which seems like a pretty dumb strategy to get anything in life. I also think this is something people will say to you simply to make you feel better.
Every relationship I've ever been in, including my marriage, happened when I wasn't looking and didn't even want a relationship. Actually, I was a bit of a commitmentphobe before I met my ex-husband. Then after my divorce, I went back to my commitmentphobic ways for a while. I felt justified.
Some guys I've met are so ready to just "have a girlfriend" that it kind of gives the vibe that anyone would do if they would just agree to go out with them. Not attractive at all. But if a guy's open to a relationship and is patient enough to wait for the right person, that's a different story.
With this said, I do not think you want a girlfriend after all...it seems you want more of a "buddy" or a companion.
If you find someone like you said in #2 above, I think it would be only fair to her that you told her about #3 above and then see where it leads. Otherwise, you will break her heart and if that was your intention just to see if you could actually get someone to fall for you, then that is just cruel.
You're right that I don't want a girlfriend (the reason being I'm content to be single).
However, when I wanted a girlfriend, I really wanted a girlfriend (not just a buddy/companion).
You don't need to have sex with someone or marry them just because they're your girlfriend.
There are couples that don't have sex. And there are people that have sex without being a couple.
You're right that I don't want a girlfriend (the reason being I'm content to be single).
However, when I wanted a girlfriend, I really wanted a girlfriend (not just a buddy/companion).
You don't need to have sex with someone or marry them just because they're your girlfriend.
There are couples that don't have sex. And there are people that have sex without being a couple.
I really hope that you're keeping a compendium of all these little bon mots so that in years to come you can look back on them, laugh up a storm and shake your head in utter disbelief at what a funny little chap you were.
You're right that I don't want a girlfriend (the reason being I'm content to be single).
Then why are you worried about "finding one when you are not looking for one"?????
Quote:
Originally Posted by city_data91
However, when I wanted a girlfriend, I really wanted a girlfriend (not just a buddy/companion). .
So...this was in the past. I hope you don't live in the past. That is a dead-end street.
Quote:
Originally Posted by city_data91
You don't need to have sex with someone or marry them just because they're your girlfriend.
There are couples that don't have sex. And there are people that have sex without being a couple.
My interpretation of "intimacy" is not only about sex thus my suggestion to tell her upfront what type of relationship you are hoping to have. Intimacy can be about sharing private moments and building a relationship based on those times. But don't worry about it because you do not want intimacy, nor sex, nor a girlfriend, nor do you want to find what you are not looking for.
I feel like I am being "punked"...where are the cameras, where are they????????
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