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My point is that while the career choice may not be important, there is usually a correlation between what type of position you hold and your attitude toward life. A strong, confident man will pursue his passion relentlessly, continually seeking to better himself and fulfill his ambition. A strong, confident man also has control of his life and knows where he's headed. He puts all his career efforts toward exceeding his goals and striving to better himself in every way.
Probably bc it helps describe him very quickly (you can often get an idea of some characteristics based on job) and bc women are socialized to ask that.
Plus, we're always told that men tend to define themselves by their careers.
I think that's a valid explanation. At the same time, it's bit of a double standard. Women detest being objectified because of their looks, but socialization deems it okay to objectify men by what they do for a living.
For example, at the same client office, one woman starting dating a guy who was a hunting guide. When she mentioned that, you could see the expressions change for an instant among the other two women--a totally different expression than if the woman announced her new boyfriend was a partner at an established law firm. Then they started rationalizing it, saying things such as, "Well, that's cool that he does that, as long as he enjoys the work...."
I think that's a valid explanation. At the same time, it's bit of a double standards. Women detest being objectified because of their looks, but socialization deems it okay to objectify men by what they do for a living.
For example, at the same client office, one woman starting dating a guy who was a hunting guide. When she mentioned that, you could see the expressions change for an instant among the other two women--a totally different expression than if the woman announced her new boyfriend was a partner at an established law firm. Then they started rationalizing it, saying things such as, "Well, that's cool that he does that, as long as he enjoys the work...."
Right...but remember how many men define themselves by their careers. So it's just following suit. What he does and who he is can be very intimately wrapped up in each other. Not many women say the same (though I do...but a lot of people in my profession do).
Frankly, I'd take the hunting guy over the lawyer any day of the week.
I think that's a valid explanation. At the same time, it's bit of a double standard. Women detest being objectified because of their looks, but socialization deems it okay to objectify men by what they do for a living.
I don't. It's a fact of life. However, I also subscribe to the second part of the "double standard."
I don't. It's a fact of life. However, I also subscribe to the second part of the "double standard."
So you would dislike me because I am not tall and currently unemployed?
I believe in that the people who say not to hate the player but the game. Don't understand that the players can choose to follow whatever rules they want. Who was it that wrote the rules anyways? I do believe people follow the rules because they are lazy and don't like change. But I follow my own rules to the fullest that I can. I judge someone on merit mostly. I guess I can make better decisions on how a person is than what they can tell on me.
Don't subscribe to anything the majority believe, that is the moral.
Right...but remember how many men define themselves by their careers. So it's just following suit. What he does and who he is can be very intimately wrapped up in each other. Not many women say the same (though I do...but a lot of people in my profession do).
I would agree with that, because men tend to be herded down the career path in ways that women are not. For example, if a woman decides to quit her career to raise children, that's considered to be a valid and acceptable thing. If a guy decided to do that, society would look at him askance.
I went through that a little bit when I sold my biz a decade ago. I decided to pick up consulting gigs and spend more time with my kids. Now, mind you, I was making almost as much money working that way as I was owning a business--and today I make more. But because I didn't go to the office every morning at 8 a.m. and was picking up the kids at 3 and carting them to ballet, violin, and soccer, it was interesting the way the world regarded me. My wife would get comments from her friends such as, "Isn't this driving you crazy that he stays home all day?" To which my wife would say, "Are you kidding me? He's still working, and I haven't had to cook dinner in months."
Hey, for years my mother simply can't fathom that I was actually working. I think she suspected that I sat in my bathrobe everyday watching The Price Is Right. I think it finally dawned on her when I had to go overseas last year for a long shoot for a big client that I actually do earn a living, albeit not in the conventional way.
Then again, all this may have a lot to do with how the guy feels about his job in terms of status. For example, the partner at the law firm might not feel inhibited in the least by leading with his occupation, while a guy who works the midnight shift at the grocery store might choose to emphasize what he thinks are more attractive things about him.
As somebody who works in a biz where there are lots of single women, it's really interesting to hear them describe the guys in their lives in casual conversation.
When one woman asks another woman about the new guy in her life, the answer is almost always, "Well, he's a [occupation]..." Not, "Well, he's really funny" or anything else for that matter.
Why is that?
For the same reason that "What do you do?" is one of the first things people ask when meeting someone new. Many people see themselves as how they make a living. Sad, but true.
As an experiment, the next time one of your friends asks about a new person in your life, don't say what they do for a living. Watch people's reactions.
So you would dislike me because I am not tall and currently unemployed?
I believe in that the people who say not to hate the player but the game. Don't understand that the players can choose to follow whatever rules they want. Who was it that wrote the rules anyways? I do believe people follow the rules because they are lazy and don't like change. But I follow my own rules to the fullest that I can. I judge someone on merit mostly. I guess I can make better decisions on how a person is than what they can tell on me.
Don't subscribe to anything the majority believe, that is the moral.
For Pete's sake, buddy! Did I mention anything about rules or what other people should do?! Did I not use the personal pronoun I?!
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Did I not use the personal pronoun I?!
