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I haven't read the other posts yet...but I'd have to answer yes and no.
Yes, it matters because I want him to be passionate about what he does for a living and LOVE his job.
No, it doesn't matter if that means he is flipping burgers all day at McDonalds. If he absolutely loves that job and rocks it, then that's all I need.
My husband is miserable where he works. He hates his job, hates the people he works for and is miserable when he has to get up and go to work and when he comes home from work.
That translates to a crappy marriage for me some days. So yeah, it does matter what he does...it should be something he loves.
It doesn't really matter to me what occupation they hold, as long as they're an active part of the community, holding a full time job and being responsible. I certainly wouldn't want to get involved with a slacker living off tax payer funds.
On the other hand, because of my past career it made sense for me to be involved with someone in the same line of work. It's high stress, high demand, and it's what I grew up with since my father was in the same field. So it was just natural for me to be with someone in that line of work. I dated guys with 'boring' jobs (accountant, teacher, etc) but it never worked out. It's hard when you go home and you're not allowed to talk to your SO about your day for legal reasons. Wound up marrying a co-worker and it was the best thing I ever did.
So you were a government agent? An agent of chaos?
Basically would that not have made you a slacker living off tax payer funds? Or were you earning your meal by working for the government?
Compatibility is always going to be a huge issue when it comes to relationships and humans tend to congregate with people who they feel they belong with if we are truly honest.
However I think hopefully people are more than their job and one can find a suitable mate among most professions. I tend to judge people on a one to one basis , and would like to believe someone's profession would not really influence my that much. I realise though that I might be woefully misguided believing this though.
There are professions I would find more off putting than others. I would find it difficult to date a stock exchange trader or someone whose life was the financial sector as I tend to despise the whole culture around it ( from personal experience).
A guy in the porn industry or who runs a strip joint/brothel is never going to be my kind of guy either and I suspect a professional athlete I would find way too single minded and selfish ( you have to be to reach high levels) for my liking too. A Politician ( even of my own persuasion) I would also be very wary of ( see professional athletes...). I need to trust and respect someone. Politics is not conducive to either IMO.
I need somebody who is going to be intellectually curious and adventurous, someone who loves travelling and going out , who loves the arts, history, reading, culture, gastronomy and wildlife. So if I can find someone who is a janitor or a supermarket cashier and is like that then I would have to say I could not care less.
People sadly do tend to be defined socially by their profession but I think that is a shame as we are all hopefully individuals and people have a way to buck the trend and surprise you. And I love to be surprised. Giving a chance to people can be very revealing and on occasions very rewarding.
I would prefer to date a lovely, sweet and intelligent janitor than an arrogant, selfish greedy millionaire trader that's for sure.
But if I am honest I am far more likely to socialise on a daily basis with people who fit my own interests and hobbies which is middle class, middle income with some upper class and upper income thrown in. It is not that easy to switch between classes when your daily life takes you in one direction. But no in principle a guy's profession is not what will put me off him. His personality is.
Most people are a little more than their jobs. Hopefully.
Its a pretty simple question. Ladies, does what a man do for a living increase the odds of you dating him?
I think the idea is more that lots of women like status because they think that being attached to someone who has "high value" will make them happy. Doesn't always work out that way, so I think their opinions can change as they get older, but I don't think the idea that women like status is a generally incorrect generalization.
It matters to me that he's happy with what he does.
No one should be miserable in a career, it will negatively affect their life.
I have my own status and make my own money.
Why would another's job man provide status?
Its a pretty simple question. Ladies, does what a man do for a living increase the odds of you dating him?
I think the idea is more that lots of women like status because they think that being attached to someone who has "high value" will make them happy. Doesn't always work out that way, so I think their opinions can change as they get older, but I don't think the idea that women like status is a generally incorrect generalization.
It might. I have always avoided workaholic men who have trouble tearing themselves away from the job. Fathers need to be around when there's children involved.
I also wouldn't want anything to do with a politician on any level. Or someone in the "sex business" (as another poster pointed out).
DISCLAIMER: I am a man. Feel free to refute me as such.
Oftentimes the man's career can be indicative of his outlook on life. Women tend to be attracted to a man who is in control of his life. If the man is working at McDonald's it is likely not by choice. That burger-flipper is not in control of his life, so how can he be expected to give the woman a sense of security? Is the man not confident enough in his own abilities to exert himself in a more prestigious venue? Underlying lack of confidence = unattractive. Why isn't the man passionate about his career (flipping burgers)? Inability to pursue your passions and career goals = unattractive.
Let's say the man really is passionate about burger flipping. Why isn't he trying to be a chef or upgrading to Jack in the Box? Lack of ambition = unattractive. Maybe the man is passionate about working for McDonald's. Why isn't he advancing?
My point is that while the career choice may not be important, there is usually a correlation between what type of position you hold and your attitude toward life. A strong, confident man will pursue his passion relentlessly, continually seeking to better himself and fulfill his ambition. A strong, confident man also has control of his life and knows where he's headed. He puts all his career efforts toward exceeding his goals and striving to better himself in every way.
Absolute Stereotypical Drivel.
Just the same old crap about how men should be pursuing power, status and money and if he isn't, he is "less of a man".
My dad worked his entire life as a printer for a small newspaper in a small town. I guess by the above criteria he could be considered a lower end man. He enjoyed his work, his co-workers and his small town life. He never aspired to own a newspaper, "work up" into a more prestigious position or even, gasp, make a whole lot more money.
What was important to him were his family, his wife and 5 kids (BTW, married to my mom for over 50 years before they both passed on), his church, his home (bought and paid for by the time he retired) and his small group of friends.
I guess some would consider him "unattractive" because he never pursued power and status but he was the most decent man I've ever known, kind and helpful to everyone. I'm not saying that just because I'm his son either. The church in our small town was overflowing at his funeral.
I'm proud to say I'm just like him. I never aspired to someone else's ideas on what a man should be. I'm in a good solid blue collar job, live within my means, own a home, pay my bills, etc. If that's not good enough for some people, to hell with 'em. I'm far happier than any driven ambitious person I've ever known and I've known plenty including my ex-wife. She has more professional credentials than 99% of the people on this board but she has never been happy in any stage of her life. She's pushing 50 and she's still not happy.
Did you ever think a pursuit for a calm, peaceful satisfying life is also a form of ambition? Ambition shouldn't always mean a pursuit for wealth, status and power.
I only want a man who takes pride in, and is enthusiastic about, his work. I don't care what it is. I'd rather have a guy who takes pride in his garbage collection job, than some hack lawyer who just phones it in.
Just the same old crap about how men should be pursuing power, status and money and if he isn't, he is "less of a man".
My dad worked his entire life as a printer for a small newspaper in a small town. I guess by the above criteria he could be considered a lower end man. He enjoyed his work, his co-workers and his small town life. He never aspired to own a newspaper, "work up" into a more prestigious position or even, gasp, make a whole lot more money.
What was important to him were his family, his wife and 5 kids (BTW, married to my mom for over 50 years before they both passed on), his church, his home (bought and paid for by the time he retired) and his small group of friends.
I guess some would consider him "unattractive" because he never pursued power and status but he was the most decent man I've ever known, kind and helpful to everyone. I'm not saying that just because I'm his son either. The church in our small town was overflowing at his funeral.
I'm proud to say I'm just like him. I never aspired to someone else's ideas on what a man should be. I'm in a good solid blue collar job, live within my means, own a home, pay my bills, etc. If that's not good enough for some people, to hell with 'em. I'm far happier than any driven ambitious person I've ever known and I've known plenty including my ex-wife. She has more professional credentials than 99% of the people on this board but she has never been happy in any stage of her life. She's pushing 50 and she's still not happy.
Did you ever think a pursuit for a calm, peaceful satisfying life is also a form of ambition? Ambition shouldn't always mean a pursuit for wealth, status and power.
What a truly lovely post and I could not agree with it more. Beautifully put.
What a man does it not what he is,what makes a man is how he treats others, looks after his loved ones, whether he is happy, kind and loving and for his family being around also has to be pretty important.
You judge a man by the content of his character not his social "status" or the size of his wallet. Unless you are a thoroughly vapid and shallow human being but then this becomes your problem not his.
It truly saddens me to see how incredibly obsessed some people are with money and "stuff". Outwards signs of riches are pretty useless if your heart is barren and you have the emotional intelligence of pond-slime. A Ferrari and a Rolex does not make someone interesting, intelligent or personable.
It seems some people are so vaccuous that they cannot see beyond money and that is so , so pathetic.
I hope I treat ALL human beings with the respect they deserve regardless of socio economic status and wealth. I am a woman and I never checked a man's financial prospects before dating him. other things are way more important.
Realistically most of us will move in familiar and to us comfortable social circles but when I meet someone who is less financially advantaged than myself I certainly do not jump to conclusions about them. Same with people who have more. I try to let them speak for themselves, the way they conduct themselves and how they behave towards others.
Ugly behaviour is far more off putting than someone being homeless or poor IMO.
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Absolutely, but not for the reason you think...
