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For all the people who say pushing her aside was wrong, with identity theft the way it is I'm taking NO chances. Unless they are married his stuff is none of her business. Not advocating for physically doing something but she needed to get the message of "private business here, please step away."
I totally agree that his stuff is none of her business, no one is arguing that.
He should not have pushed her. PERIOD. No excuse.
Quote:
Originally Posted by temptation001
I don't think he had the right to push her away, as if she were an inanimate object.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,713 posts, read 41,926,093 times
Reputation: 41474
Quote:
Originally Posted by NY Annie
I totally agree that his stuff is none of her business, no one is arguing that.
He should not have pushed her. PERIOD. No excuse.
Okay when I see my woman about to get into it with someone (and get hurt) I should just let her take her whuppin' instead of blocking her from the other party so no one gets hurt or locked up?
Never mind women like to put their hands on men for all type of reasons.
Okay when I see my woman about to get into it with someone (and get hurt) I should just let her take her whuppin' instead of blocking her from the other party so no one gets hurt or locked up?
Never mind women like to put their hands on men for all type of reasons.
OH brother! Argument for argument's sake! If someone was going to take a swing at your woman, one would expect that he would grab her and pull her away from DANGER. If she was about to get hit by a passing mode of transportation or raging animal...removing her from DANGER would be a definite exception.
His pushing her at the store had nothing to do with removing her from DANGER! Could she have been a bit more sensitive to his privacy, while he was filling out the card form? Sure, yeah, she could have. I mean, if they'd been together for a long time, were living together or married, it might not have been such a big deal to him, but pushing her?
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,713 posts, read 41,926,093 times
Reputation: 41474
Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel
OH brother! Argument for argument's sake! If someone was going to take a swing at your woman, one would expect that he would grab her and pull her away from DANGER. If she was about to get hit by a passing mode of transportation or raging animal...removing her from DANGER would be a definite exception.
His pushing her at the store had nothing to do with removing her from DANGER! Could she have been a bit more sensitive to his privacy, while he was filling out the card form? Sure, yeah, she could have. I mean, if they'd been together for a long time, were living together or married, it might not have been such a big deal to him, but pushing her?
I said it was a little extra but clearly it was important to him to have that privacy. Did he overdo it by pushing, I would say so but people posting so far are acting like this was mean Joe Greene slamming a 5 year old to the ground.
I wonder if he first waited a few seconds to for you to turn away like any courteous, non-snooping person would do while someone filled out a credit card application. And when you just stood there with the obvious intention of gleaning personal data like date of birth and annual income, he was at a loss as what to do. It's kind of hard to say "Could you please not be such a nosey ****?"
You say it was the push that bothered you the most. Are you sure it really wasn't the fact that you were busted?
But I do agree that he shouldn't have pushed you. Look at the bright side: you actually got him to go shopping with you and he can rack up some credit card debt buying baubles to give you. That can excuse a lot of pushing!
I said it was a little extra but clearly it was important to him to have that privacy. Did he overdo it by pushing, I would say so but people posting so far are acting like this was mean Joe Greene slamming a 5 year old to the ground.
Agreed. LOL One of the things that some people do forget, when they're in a new relationship, is to pay attention to their partner's behavior. Not only can it save you from wasting valuable time with someone you're going to end up despising, but it can eliminate those awkward moments, such as this. Right from the get go, this guy has been throwing out all of the signs that he is PRIVATE. He doesn't discuss his past, he doesn't disclose anything unless pushed for information. He has no intention of being the only one who is "paying for their dates", which says he's either got debt or is just tight with his finances....and likely cautious about being used.
Someone who's been throwing out "privacy" clues from the get go, is likely not going to be really thrilled having someone looking over his shoulder when he's filling out ANYTHING. Can you imagine how he'd feel if the OP was standing behind him while he was on the computer?
Just thinking more about this post....OP, this is a great opportunity for you to take a close look at your relationship. Can you live with someone who is mistrustful and secretive, if he stays this way? Can you respect his need for space and privacy?...or do you need someone who is more of an open book? He pushed you...okay, just gently, but it was in a public place, in front of others and it's still fairly early on in your relationship. Are there indications that he could get more violent if he feels as if he's being crowded or his privacy is being invaded? Relationahips are a lot of work and the more you can evaluate things in the beginning, the better off you'll be.
You know, I've seen posters complain about people they're dating asking a million questions...interrogating them, because "it's not a stupid job interview". I totally disagree! It should be just LIKE a job interview! My gosh, it's more important IMO. This is the person you're possibly going to be alone with, have your possessions and identity exposed to.....your tender underbelly, security, everything you OWN and ARE, is exposed and vulnerable to this person. You BETTER know who you're getting into bed with, because once that door is closed and the lights are out, you are at that person's mercy and whims. A secretive person has something to hide. If I can't trust someone, they're damn sure not closer than arm's length...much less behind my locked doors.
You should have given him his space with out being asked or nudged out of the way. You usually need to disclose confidential information such as social security, etc. and that's info you have no need to be privy to.
Maybe he wasnt sure if his credit would go through and didnt want to be embarassed by that with you standing there. Doesnt excuse pushing away but may explain his discomfort.
Alright, you guys made your point. Looking back, I should have been more considerate rather than take for granted he would have done the same thing i would have if I were in his shoes. It was my mistake to stand near him. I admit, i made a mistake it that, though i still don't see the big deal. It's not like I'm going to steal his info and run away with it. I would hope he has more trust in me than that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel
Just thinking more about this post....OP, this is a great opportunity for you to take a close look at your relationship. Can you live with someone who is mistrustful and secretive, if he stays this way? Can you respect his need for space and privacy?...or do you need someone who is more of an open book? He pushed you...okay, just gently, but it was in a public place, in front of others and it's still fairly early on in your relationship. Are there indications that he could get more violent if he feels as if he's being crowded or his privacy is being invaded? Relationahips are a lot of work and the more you can evaluate things in the beginning, the better off you'll be.
You know, I've seen posters complain about people they're dating asking a million questions...interrogating them, because "it's not a stupid job interview". I totally disagree! It should be just LIKE a job interview! My gosh, it's more important IMO. This is the person you're possibly going to be alone with, have your possessions and identity exposed to.....your tender underbelly, security, everything you OWN and ARE, is exposed and vulnerable to this person. You BETTER know who you're getting into bed with, because once that door is closed and the lights are out, you are at that person's mercy and whims. A secretive person has something to hide. If I can't trust someone, they're damn sure not closer than arm's length...much less behind my locked doors.
I really really really can't see myself with this guy long term as of right now. This has been something that I've been feeling for a while now. In the beginning when he didn't talk about himself, I didn't think it was that big of a deal, though it bothered me, some people are just private. So I shared my life and told him my stories, hoping he would tell me his...which he didn't. And now several months later, nothing has changed. But I do like him so I stick around. But it's exhausting asking questions and not getting that many answers, I feel like I'm being nosy and interrogating him though I'm asking him to share basic information about himself with me.
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