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Thanks for all the bashing but now the horse is here and you can hear the other side directly from her mouth. There is no other man. I have intimacy issues that run deep and I think my husband will be better off with someone who can fulfill his needs as I cannot. I have not been sitting on my butt the last 10 years. I have raised the kids, cooked, cleaned, etc. Finishing school will help me be able to support the children and not keep us struggling. I think that's important and I'm glad my husband does, too. I love him, he is my best friend but love and best friends is not always what makes it last.
I want the best for him and if that includes letting go and letting him find his equal then that's what I will do. I don't expect you guys to understand and who the f*ck cares if you ever do.
Carlita, first of all I want to apologize for my comments earlier when I was making an assumption. I know this is tough. So excuse me if I'm butting in on something too sensitive, but have you all tried to get help for your mismatch in the bedroom? I'd say that most men, no all men are likely to think you don't love them if there's no sex--that's how they love. I'm sure there have been plenty of fights, but have you guys tried to get help? Is sex with your husband so un-doable?
I ask this b/c while you're saying that you're leaving for him, he's saying that he doesn't want you to go. And you guys have kids in the home and I'm a firm believer that kids need both parents, assuming they're sane, and it sounds like you are. I guess what I'm saying is that if there is still love and you are still best friends, you have more than 80% of other married couples out there and then you guys can reconsider what you want after the kids are older.
Also, if you have no libido, I'm thinking that a visit to the doc might help. Or if you're both physically out of shape, you two could start to exercise together--you'd be amazed at how much that can help. My case was clear cut: man gay, end of story. But in your case, it sounds salvageable.
Thanks for all the bashing but now the horse is here and you can hear the other side directly from her mouth. There is no other man. I have intimacy issues that run deep and I think my husband will be better off with someone who can fulfill his needs as I cannot. I have not been sitting on my butt the last 10 years. I have raised the kids, cooked, cleaned, etc. Finishing school will help me be able to support the children and not keep us struggling. I think that's important and I'm glad my husband does, too. I love him, he is my best friend but love and best friends is not always what makes it last.
I want the best for him and if that includes letting go and letting him find his equal then that's what I will do. I don't expect you guys to understand and who the f*ck cares if you ever do.
If you were sincere about working out the marriage there is help for intamacy issues. If there is no abuse or cheating then really a couple if they really want to can work through such situations.
Quote:
Originally Posted by carlitasway
Thank you for understanding. I guess everyone else would rather me not have a trade and be a struggling mother on welfare or work 3 jobs and never be able to watch the kids and have them raise themselves. It's not about me, it's about the kids
You are not the first women in the world who has had a family, obtained an education and started a career... It has been done time and again without having the excuse of a divorce or whatever.
Expecting him to be your meal ticket and pay for your education is a silly notion.
Wanting to provide for your family is a good noble notion. Feeling like you have to dump someone who you made a lifetime committment to is wonky.
If you love your husband but don't feel the loving feelings... You are misled about what love is. It is a choice. It is an act, it is not a flipping feeling.
Furthermore an education is not a guarantee of success. Nor a lack of education doom for failure.
I think you two are in for a few surprises. I hope you keep posting here.
Yeah, that's gonna happen. Whatever gets posted gets twisted. I'm just using him for a meal ticket. He's a sucker who isn't fighting hard enough, etc. Yeap, I really want to keep posting here!
Anyway, I'm done. I've tried to explain even though I shouldn't have. Like I said in the first post, I don't expect most of you to understand since most of you are so damned bitter that you can't except that people can act like human beings in this sort of situation. Good luck to you guys because you need it.
Yeah, that's gonna happen. Whatever gets posted gets twisted. I'm just using him for a meal ticket. He's a sucker who isn't fighting hard enough, etc. Yeap, I really want to keep posting here!
Anyway, I'm done. I've tried to explain even though I shouldn't have. Like I said in the first post, I don't expect most of you to understand since most of you are so damned bitter that you can't except that people can act like human beings in this sort of situation. Good luck to you guys because you need it.
You've explained it. Your logic seems week. But logic doesn't always prevail.
It is funny if one party in a marriage doesn't want to work through whatever issues they have, they make excuses.
Granted it takes two to make a relationship work or fail.
Yeah, that's gonna happen. Whatever gets posted gets twisted. I'm just using him for a meal ticket. He's a sucker who isn't fighting hard enough, etc. Yeap, I really want to keep posting here!
Anyway, I'm done. I've tried to explain even though I shouldn't have. Like I said in the first post, I don't expect most of you to understand since most of you are so damned bitter that you can't except that people can act like human beings in this sort of situation. Good luck to you guys because you need it.
I don't think we are the bitter ones. We stated our opinions based on the information that was posted.
Yeah, that's gonna happen. Whatever gets posted gets twisted. I'm just using him for a meal ticket. He's a sucker who isn't fighting hard enough, etc. Yeap, I really want to keep posting here!
Anyway, I'm done. I've tried to explain even though I shouldn't have. Like I said in the first post, I don't expect most of you to understand since most of you are so damned bitter that you can't except that people can act like human beings in this sort of situation. Good luck to you guys because you need it.
No ma'am, you're the one who's going to need it, and your STBX, and most of all, sadly, your kids. You don't have a clue what you're walking into and some of us who have been where you are now are trying to shake you out of your daze. But not to worry, you'll be shaken out of it eventually.
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