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Old 07-17-2011, 07:24 PM
 
Location: NYC
7,364 posts, read 14,670,185 times
Reputation: 10386

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Yes, I can't imagine going out with a man for that many dates and not automatically want to start kicking in. At this point you don't make a big deal about it, but you start picking up the check first and saying, "this one's on me." Unless you are a wealthy guy who loves to throw around money, she's just being unreasonable.

As for when I start paying, it's usually by the third date. But with the person I am now dating, which seems to be getting really serious, I start paying on the 1st date. It turned into an 8 hour date, going to multiple places so it felt very natural to step in here and there. Probably because I really like him too.
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Old 07-17-2011, 07:31 PM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,931,506 times
Reputation: 7058
Ha ha good question. Remember the average woman these days wants to be a Nancy Grace.

The bottom line is that she wanted to break up with you: that's why she asked the insulting question. I don't know how sentimental the relationship was but she obviously used you for stuff.

Quote:
Originally Posted by greenvillebuckeye View Post
Just ended a "relationship" with a girl who ended it by texting me saying she needs a guy who pays for things the majority of the time. Keep in mind I paid for the first 4 dates, a weekend trip to the beach for two and this past weekend she paid for waffle house and then we split a meal at panera bread. a few hours later after panera she texts me saying she needs a guy who pays for the majority of the dates. i didn't realize that her paying for waffle house was too much for her haha. i'm a teacher and make a king's ransom obviously ;-). i also drove us everywhere and would buy her random things like cigarettes, wine, even cooked meals at her place i bought everything from the grocery store.

so ladies how long into a dating do you start paying?
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Old 07-17-2011, 07:40 PM
 
37,593 posts, read 45,950,883 times
Reputation: 57142
Quote:
Originally Posted by greenvillebuckeye View Post
Just ended a "relationship" with a girl who ended it by texting me saying she needs a guy who pays for things the majority of the time. Keep in mind I paid for the first 4 dates, a weekend trip to the beach for two and this past weekend she paid for waffle house and then we split a meal at panera bread. a few hours later after panera she texts me saying she needs a guy who pays for the majority of the dates. i didn't realize that her paying for waffle house was too much for her haha. i'm a teacher and make a king's ransom obviously ;-). i also drove us everywhere and would buy her random things like cigarettes, wine, even cooked meals at her place i bought everything from the grocery store.

so ladies how long into a dating do you start paying?
I have a hard time believing that was really why she ended it. Sounds more that that was just the easiest excuse for her to use.

As far as "how long into a dating do you start paying"....I find that impossible to answer, with anything definitive. Depends on the guy, the circumstances, everything. The first time I met my BF, we paid our own way. He paid for mostly everything I think, for the first couple of dates at least, maybe longer. I don't remember - too long ago. But we pretty much both pay now...it evens out pretty well I think. Some guys have paid 90% of the time, except when I insist on paying. Just depends on the guy.
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Old 07-17-2011, 07:58 PM
 
2,309 posts, read 3,847,696 times
Reputation: 2250
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
I have a hard time believing that was really why she ended it. Sounds more that that was just the easiest excuse for her to use.

As far as "how long into a dating do you start paying"....I find that impossible to answer, with anything definitive. Depends on the guy, the circumstances, everything. The first time I met my BF, we paid our own way. He paid for mostly everything I think, for the first couple of dates at least, maybe longer. I don't remember - too long ago. But we pretty much both pay now...it evens out pretty well I think. Some guys have paid 90% of the time, except when I insist on paying. Just depends on the guy.

quite possibly so.
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Old 07-17-2011, 08:04 PM
 
Location: USA
4,978 posts, read 9,511,158 times
Reputation: 2506
Why do you guys even date women like that?
What was the big attraction?
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Old 07-17-2011, 08:08 PM
 
3,770 posts, read 6,739,508 times
Reputation: 3019
She sounds pretty tacky. Sounds like you were pretty generous with her. You could text her back asking if she wants to go out for a big mac and rent a redbox movie, if she insist you always pay.
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Old 07-17-2011, 08:18 PM
 
Location: Not far from Fairbanks, AK
20,292 posts, read 37,157,521 times
Reputation: 16397
There aren't written rules on who should pay. If you are more interested on your date than your date on you, or if it's you who extends the invitation, then you should pay every time. If both of you can afford paying for the dinner or something, then you can discuss sharing the cost. If you are the one who can afford paying for everything and the other can't, then it will be up to you to decide what to do, from breaking to continuing the relationship. If the other person can afford it but does not want to share the cost, regardless of both of you being equally interest on each other or not, that too will be up to you to decide.

Last edited by RayinAK; 07-17-2011 at 09:02 PM..
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Old 07-22-2011, 11:02 PM
 
Location: Land of the Free
6,725 posts, read 6,711,443 times
Reputation: 7557
Quote:
Originally Posted by greenvillebuckeye View Post
she paid for waffle house and then we split a meal at panera bread
I hope you at least picked up the fries at McDs
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Old 07-22-2011, 11:39 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
1,589 posts, read 2,681,324 times
Reputation: 2157
Gold diggers don't go after school teachers. Just sayin'.

She wanted to end it and she did in a manner that left you no reason to want to argue with her or ever contact her again. It was a nice clean break. I give it 5 stars for effectiveness. 0 stars for class.
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Old 07-23-2011, 12:13 AM
 
154 posts, read 391,945 times
Reputation: 197
hmmm...guys want good looks and expect women to not have standards as well? As soon as women have criteria that seems unreasonable to the opposite sex, it is a disgrace? very interesting. last time i checked, real men pay for dates. If you cant afford a steak house, go to mD's, but atleast pay for her dollar meal. cheapo's. Im sure you men have "criteria" that women dont like. I shouldnt even have to make this point to grown men of any standard on an internet board , jesus.
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