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Who cares what society thinks? Nowadays, SAHM's are looked down upon, too. I have friends that are SAHD's and they love it. My whole point is that people should do what makes them happy. We live in a society where that is possible. Stop blaming others and live your lives the way that works best for you!
Well, I wouldn't care about society except society includes employers and since they look down upon SAHD's more than SAHM's, it almost forces the man to be the one that works. C'mon, there's no comparison: SAHD's are looked at negatively much more than SAHM's.
Typical female poster, throwing out the bitter accusation like it's going out of the style. Keep the misandry out of this thread.
I have to agree with her on this though. I've never seen that guy say anything good about either women or dating in general. It is all negative, negative, negative.
I guess I can sum up my point with "agree to disagree". If a man/woman doesn't like expectations based on gender, that's their prerogative, it doesn't make them a bad person or "less of" something. And if they DO believe in those expectations, that in and of itself doesn't make them sexist or chauvinistic.
It really does, tho. But, that's par for the course in life. We all have expectations and beliefs that are bizarre to some and we all might fit a label or two.
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I don't think the frustration with feminists and gender roles and the perceived hypocrisy is really that hard to understand. I think it would be very apparent to women were the shoe on the other foot. So to write men off as bitter or misogynistic for pointing it out lacks empathy in my opinion.
Your post leads me to think that gender roles are no longer on your terms (support for submission) and you're correct. I guess many are influx at the moment. It's a bit of social evolution and it just might work out, or not of course.
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Originally Posted by Broncos Quarterback
The choice to either work or be a stay at home parent. I guess we men do too, but it's frowned upon by employers and society at large for a man to be a SAHD. A man is expected to work, work, work, like we're machines. Personally, I hate working and would rather be a SAHD for a few yrs while the kid is still a baby and then re-enter the workforce, much like women get to do.
I think this is class related. I have only an anecdote to offer, so take it with a grain of salt, but one of my colleagues has just re-entered the work force as a previous SAHD. His wife's career (military orthodontist) took them all over the globe for 4-5 years. He had to put his career on hold. He came to my dept as a temp and then was able to land an F/T position in another department. Granted, he does not earn as much as she does. He's a scientist, and we're not superb earners, but he has been able to transition pretty well. Nobody cares that he was a SAHD. He's cocky, super smart, a great scientist, and most are interested in what it was like living in Japan the last few years.
I have to agree with her on this though. I've never seen that guy say anything good about either women or dating in general. It is all negative, negative, negative.
Doesn't justify throwing around the bitter label and blatant misandry.
Doesn't justify throwing around the bitter label and blatant misandry.
Hey man, if the shoe fits...
I do not hate men. I am married to one and happen to love him very very much, he is my life, my heart, my best friend. I love men, the way they walk, the way they do sweet funny things, their dirty sense of humour and many other things about them.
What I do not like is the attitude of hatred and plain old meanness towards women which comes through very clearly in many posts on this forum. The constant generalisations, the 'women are wh*res' comments, the blaming etc.
So get your facts straight buddy boy before throwing around comments you know nothing about.
Well, I wouldn't care about society except society includes employers and since they look down upon SAHD's more than SAHM's, it almost forces the man to be the one that works. C'mon, there's no comparison: SAHD's are looked at negatively much more than SAHM's.
I think that, yes, SAHD's are probably looked down upon more than SAHM's - but I also think that this is changing. Among my friends, there are some that are SAHD's and some husbands who work less than their wives and take care of the children more often. But compare things to 50 years ago when being a SAHD was completely unheard of. Things are changing. I know that men have more pressure on them to be more successful and make more money. I'm an actress - and while actress can date men of all different professions, it's much harder for actors. One of my female friends told me that she would never date an actor (she works in the corporate world). Most of my actor friends date actresses - or other actors. Actually, it's also easier to be a gay actor - because they seem to have no problem dating doctors and lawyers, etc. But I also think that things are changing with this, too - many of my female friends make more than their husbands and it's not an issue. I firmly believe that there is somoene out there for everyone. But I also believe that you aren't going to find that person if you are so filled up with hatred and bitterness that nobody wants to be around you!
Man you really need some therapy to deal with hideous bitterness that seeps through every single post you make.
It's a very ugly quality to have.
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Originally Posted by Shaolin070388
Typical female poster, throwing out the bitter accusation like it's going out of the style. Keep the misandry out of this thread.
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Originally Posted by Broncos Quarterback
I have to agree with her on this though. I've never seen that guy say anything good about either women or dating in general. It is all negative, negative, negative.
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Originally Posted by Shaolin070388
Doesn't justify throwing around the bitter label and blatant misandry.
I don't quite see how this is misandry. This didn't have anything to do with him being a man - she didn't even say anything about him being a man. All she said was that he was bitter. Which he obviously is. I think anyone can see that!
Misandry - you keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means!
I think this is class related. I have only an anecdote to offer, so take it with a grain of salt, but one of my colleagues has just re-entered the work force as a previous SAHD. His wife's career (military orthodontist) took them all over the globe for 4-5 years. He had to put his career on hold. He came to my dept as a temp and then was able to land an F/T position in another department. Granted, he does not earn as much as she does. He's a scientist, and we're not superb earners, but he has been able to transition pretty well. Nobody cares that he was a SAHD. He's cocky, super smart, a great scientist, and most are interested in what it was like living in Japan the last few years.
I think it is related to the US more than anything. In other countries there is far more equality in terms of being a parent. Fathers get paternity leave and a balance in family life is encouraged.
America sticks to these old fashioned values then people wonder why they don't work.
Both my sister and my best friend had SAHD arrangements. Their husbands were good fathers and adequate house-husbands. I wouldn't rule it out or say that it's not an option for you. There's plenty of professional women out there who are looking for a man just like you!
I think it is related to the US more than anything. In other countries there is far more equality in terms of being a parent. Fathers get paternity leave and a balance in family life is encouraged.
America sticks to these old fashioned values then people wonder why they don't work.
My company, which is now US based, was originally a Swiss co. We have paid paternity leave for both natural and adopted children. It's not uncommon in the sciences, which is why I charge class. The disparity is frightening, tho.
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Actually, it's also easier to be a gay actor - because they seem to have no problem dating doctors and lawyers, etc. But I also think that things are changing with this, too - many of my female friends make more than their husbands and it's not an issue. I firmly believe that there is somoene out there for everyone. But I also believe that you aren't going to find that person if you are so filled up with hatred and bitterness that nobody wants to be around you!
