Would you give up your love if you felt you were holding them back? (long-term, married)
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I fell in love with an woman visiting the US on a visitor's visa. During her visit as we fell in love I began to get the impression that she was the kind of woman who wouldn't be truly happy if she lived a life without luxury (money, expensive vacations,etc.) even if the guy she was with loved her.
At the time my parents agreed to be the financial sponsor to help me bring her over to the US permanently since there are financial requirements set by the US INS to do such a thing. Without my parents help I would not be able to meet this requirement as a financial sponsor.
Later my parents had a falling out with her and said they wouldn't agree to be the financial sponsor anymore.
She told me it was ok and that we should fight for our love and she could live poor(relatively speaking) if necessary. The only viable option I could see was to move over to another country where she lived to be with her. I guess I could have found some kind of job over there but I had serious concerns that she was fooling herself and wouldn't be completely happy living a life devoid of money/luxury.
She said she would let me decide the fate of our relationship and she would agree with whatever I decided. I decided that we should break up and she should find a man who could make her fully happy (money wise + love). Since I feel she had all the qualifications(beauty, masters degree education, good personality) to find such a man I thought I was doing the noble thing in letting her go. She thought it was just because I didn't love her.
But at the time I really thought I was doing the best thing for her long time interests. Recently I stumbled across her Facebook (right side of facebook page has people you may know) and learned she got married to somebody who is rather well off compared to me financially and his family seems to be well off also. In my mind it validates my decision to let her go.
I don't get it... If she's accustomed to a life of luxury, why in the world would she need a "sponsor" financially?! You have 1 mil, the corporation US of A welcomes you with open arms!
I think I would of tried to fight for her as least I would of liked to think I would of. It's tough to know what to do unless your in that same situation. From what you said she did love you maybe she just felt because you gave up then there was no point in fighting to stay together.
I don't get it... If she's accustomed to a life of luxury, why in the world would she need a "sponsor" financially?! You have 1 mil, the corporation US of A welcomes you with open arms!
A lot of people live beyond their means but that doesn't mean they are well off financially.
I have no idea if her mother is financially rich or not (father deceased). But I got this impression based on comments such as she'd like to travel the world. And the items she had with her were mainly brand name designer items.
A lot of people live beyond their means but that doesn't mean they are well off financially.
I have no idea if her mother is financially rich or not (father deceased). But I got this impression based on comments such as she'd like to travel the world. And the items she had with her were mainly brand name designer items.
I think you made the right decision. As tempting as some people may be, when you clearly see you're not on the same page long-term, it's very courageous of you to be able to let them go.
I'm going to say that you did the right thing because you need to hear that. Now let it go and find your own happiness.
Actually I did go out and find my own happiness and got married also. Sorry if it felt like the intention of my initial post was to get pity from people here.
Actually I did go out and find my own happiness and got married also. Sorry if it felt like the intention of my initial post was to get pity from people here.
Well, maybe not pity, but to register on a forum in order to post just this specific thread indicates you still have unresolved feelings for this person...
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