Quote:
Originally Posted by superdav
Old thread. But I'd like to bring this topic back
At this moment I am experiencing the same thing , we are building our bond and everything seems to be just nice and dandy , but my work made a turn and now I'm working 10am to 9 pm she works 5pm to 2am. And things are changing. Not as much calls and we barely
Have time to spend with each other . As of my part. what should I do or say to make things better ?
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I feel your pain. You don't have the dinner hour together, which can be a big part of a relationship because that's when most people share the stories of their day. When my SO worked midnights with floating weekends and I worked days, we at least had that because he could come by before work.
Except now he got promoted, and his schedule is everywhere. One week it's 6:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m., the next week, it's 2:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m., still with the floating weekends. We don't really have those dinners anymore because he's either at work or about to fall over with his head in the plate from getting up at 4:15 a.m. So instead, we'll turn an overnight into two overnights whenever possible.
I work at home, for myself, and for a while I was able to play hookey, so that helped. The good news is that business has lifted off. The bad news is that now I'm kind of stuck with M-F, normal business hours, because that's when my clients are open and when sources can talk to me.
So now we both have to plan ahead a bit more, which is something you will probably have to do, too. Fortunately, he has a lot of time off, so that's where he does his juggling. He's also trying to get a better slot that would be days, M-F. My juggling is trying to keep one day free of calls when he has a three-day "weekend." Even though I still have to be plugged in for emails, I can do that kind of thing at his place while we're watching TV or he's playing Battlefield or something.
You don't say how long you've been together, which can make a difference. We've been together long enough that we don't have to be out on a date doing date-y things when we're together. If I have to spend a few hours working, he'll just relax or go down to the basement to work on his hobby, and that's okay, because we woke up together, had brunch together, and will have dinner together, hit the hay together, spend time with our pets together (I bring mine to his place so my little guy can have a playdate, too), and um, take breaks together.
We also send a lot of "happy" emails and messages throughout the day: amusing stories, cute animal pictures, funny vines, hilarious videos. Even if the other person is working or sleeping, the next time they log in, there will be something to smile about.
And calls, which for me also falls under the heading of "compromise." I'm not a big social phone person, since I talk on the phone for work a lot. But I bend a bit and talk three or four times a day because I know he needs that communication if we can't be together. Where he bends is that I don't text. My cell is only for emergencies, and having another phone go off while I'm on the main line drives me batty.
One more thing: Make what time you do have count. Even though sometimes I have to work, and we're not out doing date stuff, we do make an effort to laugh. Every once in a while we'll sit there for about an hour laughing our arses off at Fail videos. (Yes, I know, we're both sadists.) Point is, it doesn't have to be anything fancy. Just fun.
Hope that helps.
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