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I read a lot of posts on here by people of both sexes who are apparently fed up with the other gender. If an alien fresh off the mother ship read these posts, it would think that all men are self-centered, ESPN-obsessed pigs who are slaves to the needs of their testicles, while all women are self-centered b****es who only need a man to subsidize the feathering of their nest, provide them with children, take out the garbage, kill bugs, and move heavy furniture.
What gives? If you keep having recurring problems with the opposite sex, has it occurred to you that maybe the common denominator is you? Are you simply dense, or do you just make terrible choices? Please explain to us how you keep getting into these terrible relationships over and over again. The rest of the people on this forum would really like to know.
If you keep having recurring problems with the opposite sex, has it occurred to you that maybe the common denominator is you?
I just tuned in. Count on me to answer. Just like some have these themes, you like this one, cpg -- the "what's the deal?" question.
Look, self-centered is the common denominator. You used it to describe both situations. That's right, that's what causes the problems. The people in healthy relationships aren't on C-D Relationships. Instead, you have those who are in unhealthy relationships, not in a relationship, awed by interpersonal dynamics or some other unusual situation.
As for me, I have taken the same criteria as to whom I would have dated during college/grad school/early work years and moved up the age factor to match mine. I don't think this is a problem. There ought to be some 40-ish attractive HWP educated childless Caucasian women around who exude some modicum of warmth, no? Try looking sometime. It ain't pretty. And you don't hear me complain much since I'm not out there looking and don't have many relationship stories to report as of late in the first place.
I'm looking forward to the other answers.
Last edited by robertpolyglot; 04-06-2009 at 10:00 AM..
I just tuned in. Count on me to answer. Just like some have these times, you like this one, cpg -- the "what's the deal?" question.
Look, self-centered is the common denominator. You used it to describe both situations. That's right, that's what causes the problems. The people in healthy relationships aren't on C-D Relationships. Instead, you have those who are in unhealthy relationships, not in a relationship, awed by interpersonal dynamics or some other unusual situation.
As for me, I have taken the same criteria as to whom I would have dated during college/grad school/early work years and moved up the age factor to match mine. I don't think this is a problem. There ought to be some 40-ish attractive HWP educated childless Caucasian women around who exude some modicum of warmth, no? Try looking sometime. It ain't pretty. And you don't hear me complain much since I'm not out there looking and don't have many relationship stories to report as of late in the first place.
I'm looking forward to the other answers.
Thanks for the well-considered answer. Specifically, I'm curious about the "Why are all men..." or "Why are all women..." kind of questions. In those, the OP seems to find all the fault in the world in the opposite sex, but none for him or herself. At best, you'll find a grudging admission or two, but it really doesn't stop that person for blaming the other gender. What I really want to know is if these people just lack self-awareness.
Neither. If I didn't click with someone, I simply moved on. I've never turned into a man hater. OK, I did briefly when I was 17, but that was after a traumatic life altering experience, but I finally came to terms with it and moved on. There are so many great men out there, I don't understand why some women are not finding them.
Also, people (men and women) like to blame others because they can't cope or admit their own faults to themselves.
1. never pay for anything (unless it is my portion)
2. Don't really like going out, prefer staying home and doing stuff
3. My work is the most important thing in my life, above relationships
Hence the reason I don't really give a damn for serious relationships anymore and instead prefer booty call relationships. Works a lot better for my lifestyle.
I read a lot of posts on here by people of both sexes who are apparently fed up with the other gender. If an alien fresh off the mother ship read these posts, it would think that all men are self-centered, ESPN-obsessed pigs who are slaves to the needs of their testicles, while all women are self-centered b****es who only need a man to subsidize the feathering of their nest, provide them with children, take out the garbage, kill bugs, and move heavy furniture.
What gives? If you keep having recurring problems with the opposite sex, has it occurred to you that maybe the common denominator is you? Are you simply dense, or do you just make terrible choices? Please explain to us how you keep getting into these terrible relationships over and over again. The rest of the people on this forum would really like to know.
Thanks for listening.
haha, I like that part!! not sure if it's true or not, but if you're really curious:
I had a very positive LTR, which fell apart due to circumstances, not anyone's fault.
upon attempting to move on with my life, which did not necessarily include seeking a new person, I found however that everyone I met afterward have had serious drug/alcohol problems, the personality/behavior/lifestyle issues that went along with it, & more "relationship baggage" than I've seen anywhere outside of modern books.
while I'm sure that the entire over-40 male population of America, including singles, don't have these similarities, in 10+ year I haven't met anyone who hasn't.
(& by "meeting" I'm referring to in-person people, not online)
There ought to be some 40-ish attractive HWP educated childless Caucasian women around who exude some modicum of warmth, no?
Yes siree, there are zillions of them, every small town even has them. Not only with warmth but fully financial independent, witty, nice bods, smart, sharp, matured like fine wine sex machines. Lonely, lovely and desperate but reasonable and have been saving themselves just for YOU. Male Locals will not give them a tumble, pure diamonds in the rough. Dream on.
Naw, they are more like, bummed out, with lots of cruel rug rats, problems coming out their ears. Way too many of them smoke like chimneys and have every vice possible. Lots of debt is common. Plus weird criterion for making you, her perfect match. Yes, yes, definitely go there. Most of them have made all the mistakes possible and looking to repeat that experience with you. Whatever happens it will be all your fault.
Hell, no it ain't me, it is them. Plus you figure I'm only compatible with maybe 2% of the total female population and then want to be picky. Definitely them. Definitely lots of self centered, totally unreal wacked out babes.
Not all is lost. Hey, you can actually find a good one in strange places. It is not 100% hopeless. But yeah, the bulk of the others is definitely messed up, does not get better as they age or once they have them babies.
Just remember every man is to blame and it all our fault.
But then again, I sure am glad not to be a woman looking for a 40'ish or older man who is not all busted down and messed up either. Good men are even far harder to find. I don't think most bummer women would know one if she stumbled over him in the dark. It is just what goes around.
Naw, they are more like, bummed out, with lots of cruel rug rats, problems coming out their ears. Way too many of them smoke like chimneys and have every vice possible. Lots of debt is common. Plus weird criterion for making you, her perfect match. Yes, yes, definitely go there. Most of them have made all the mistakes possible and looking to repeat that experience with you. Whatever happens it will be all your fault.
Yep, the demographics I run into over and over...and avoid like the plague.
I've not started threads complaining about my relationships, but I guess Im guilty of joining the man bashing frenzies.
Yes I have considered that I may be the common denominator. My hard working, ethical, warm, charming, nutruring personality seem to draw the lazy, helpless narcisstic type.
i am powerless over others
i can only work on my own defects of character
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It is them.......
