Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
creme, i didnt know you worked in my lab. Lol.
Go out drinking with your co-workers every friday afternoon and talk about your boss till his ears turn red then give it another 5 years .:d
Sounds to me like you should be doing his job and he should be learning some humility at an entry level position. You work for an immature, needy child. Tell him you're there to do your job, not to be his friend or ego stroker.
can't do that...and believe me, the rest of the team really becomes annoyed with him at times...however, fortunately for them...they are able to stroke his ego and deal with it...
I just wish it wouldn't bother me so much...and I don't know why it does....like another poster said, I hate, hate, hate it when a person needs constant attention, and brags...and in most cases I seperate myself from those kind of people, but in this case, I can't, yanno...but he is so old school, that his comments at times are extremely degrading, and he doesn't realize it, b/c he doesn't mean it that way...but I've had people who worked for him before tell me, they don't go to visit him, b/c they fear they will say something that he'll repeat...he's on the phone constantly trying to get information and gossip...that drives me up a wall...
1. who cares. Laugh or show you are jealous?
2. who cares. Someone hurts your feelings? I mean really. Its one thing if they are being an a-hole on purpose...
3. That is just how some people speak. Again..who cares. You focus.
4. WHO CARES. Just make stuff up. May as well have fun with it.
5. So he is talkative... again..who cares...
6.If you are going to "suggest" that is a challenge. SO be prepared to have some bite with your bark if needed.
7 what? If there is nothing to burn...a nose isnt going to spark it.
Really this is a prime example of why I prefer working with males on the majority. You don't have to LIKE who you work with. Its a job. Not a sewing circle. You are making issues out of a personality and say nothing about jobs getting done or not. THAT is what you should be focusing on. Not your hurt feelings over recipe stealing...my god. Sounds like that is what really ticked you off and now you are just building up reasons to hate him. (like how most females do)
And sorry if this seems harsh. Its just one of those common female reactions I see in offices that makes me want to shake sense into you.
It makes me want to yell: "GET A REAL PROBLEM"
The recipe thing, is just a prime example of his behavior...he tells everyone he's this gourmet chef, yet he comes to me with questions about cooking...yeah, its a small thing of many...he's gotta have center stage at all times...and I do notice, he tries very hard to refrain to me about this stuff...and goes to the rest of the group...and brags...he knows I don't go for it, nor will I allow him to get away with it....and no, I DO NOT HATE HIM...no one does...so please try and read between the lines...
thanks everyone...
Most of the time I can joke around with him, and we have fun...but sometimes...there are times, when I just can't take it any more....and when something is bothering me, and I become quiet, he takes it personal and thinks it's all about him, that I'm mad at him...?????? It's like dealing with a special needs child....
I don't know how to conquer my feelings of wanting to sit him down and tell him how awful he sounds, or how wrong he is...sometimes, he is condiscending to others...and they work so hard for him...without them, he would not be where he is...we have a great group of people who are a joy to work with and for....and we all feel the same way, we love him...but sometimes, he's really difficult to take...I just wish I could be more like them...I really want to be...to be able to simply tollerate him, and at the end of the day, go home with no thoughts of him what so ever. And most of the time I can, I don't want to make it sound like it's awful, it's not...but there are times...boy...LOL
I'm trying very hard, and it took me 3 years to be able to tollerate him...but now, we all love him, b/c there are some likable qualities about him...many actually...it's just so hard to deal with the dark side...yanno, but I'm trying, to me and for me, this is some kind of test that my soul must get right, yanno?
Ok, I'm completely lost. What is there to love about your boss? Everything I read in your initial post is nothing but negative. If he's living a certain lifestyle and he can afford to have the very best, then good for him. I know dozens of people that like to brag about how much things cost. Who cares? How you can say there is good and everyone loves him is contradictory to all the negative things you posted. Quite frankly, I can't "love" someone because they have "some likeable qualities". And you NEVER "suggest" something to your boss unless he's asking for suggestions.
Ok, I'm completely lost. What is there to love about your boss? Everything I read in your initial post is nothing but negative. If he's living a certain lifestyle and he can afford to have the very best, then good for him. I know dozens of people that like to brag about how much things cost. Who cares? How you can say there is good and everyone loves him is contradictory to all the negative things you posted. Quite frankly, I can't "love" someone because they have "some likeable qualities". And you NEVER "suggest" something to your boss unless he's asking for suggestions.
then you didn't read the part that speaks of him in a good way
there is good and bad in everyone, even you, even me...some have more bad then good and visa versa...
your right, about the suggestion part...absolutely...but he gives us that opportunity, unless it is something contrary to his opinion...as long as we agree, he's fine...but he's not always right...no one is...and we do try to help him along...he comes from a long term of being taught that team work is very crucial to our jobs...and it's true...at least he asks us what we think...which a lot of bosses do not do today...and who better to learn from then the employees who have hands on experience.
everyone of us do love him for his good qualities...of which I'm not going to get into for personal reasons...you'll just have to take my word for it...it's difficult to explain...he is at times like a child...he only wants to see good...he actually rejects the reality of an awful world...he always smiles, you never ever hear him yell at anyone...he always wants to be happy and he wants others to be as well...so, I don't believe he is narcissistic...there is something else lacking in his character...perhaps as a child he always had to compete, and I'm thinking material wealth is his success...
However, it is what it is...he is who he is...no one will change him, but the point of this thread is, I want to change, I want to overlook the bad, and not allow it to irritate me or make me angry...it's not really him that concerns me, it's me and my reactions to him that I want to change, realizing, it's impossible to be 100% perfect...just feel like there is something in this for me to learn...no, correction, I know there is..like being more tollerant, patient and being able to ignore the irritating parts like the others do.
thanks so much...so, I'm not understanding, how do I do that? Is there an exercise I can practice...
we have a really great group of people and I don't want to cause any excess drama b/c these are really little things...in the bigger scheme of things, if you catch my drift...I don't need to bond with him, I just need to learn how to stroke his ego like everyone else does, while I hate that with all my might...honestly, and I know I shouldn't allow it to bother me, it must be something from my past....
but otherwise, he is a jovial big kid at heart...smart, and likeable...
and the listening part, he's not really listening....and this bothers everyone...when he gets something going in his head, and someone trys to show him another direction to go, he cannot grasp it, we have to say it over and over and over again....also, we think he thinks by asking questions, makes him look, I don't know, but it over rides his ability to absorb what is being said.
Am I making any sense?
"..a jovial big kid"... honestly sounds like my ex, You need to compartmentalize and maybe take up meditation. Im not kidding ...he sounds like he needs validation from his "female worker bees"....
What amazes me is no one "strokes the ego" of a female boss.
"..a jovial big kid"... honestly sounds like my ex, You need to compartmentalize and maybe take up meditation. Im not kidding ...he sounds like he needs validation from his "female worker bees"....
What amazes me is no one "strokes the ego" of a female boss.
Hi you!!!! Hope your doing well..
I do take meds in vitamin form, anything else beyond that, I would not touch at this point in time, don't believe in it...I feel it only masks what one has to deal with at some point...so, I'd rather deal with it now, but that is just me..and resolve if possible, then get on with things.
and yes, can't help but smile, your right, how many male bosses do stroke the ego of they're female employees...
I have seen it done, for certain...some men are just so tuned in to they're employees in that respect, but very few.
I think you are simply going through a process of problem solving which can be frustrating.
How do you learn to tolerate? That was difficult for me because it did not happen overnight. I had to remind myself until it became my normal thought process. I also needed to interact with these people for the experience but I did not make "friends" with them. There is no one solution because what worked for me did not work for other people.
Here is how I started out:
1. Decide if the behavior is hurting me physically or if that is what it will lead to. Intuition is key here.
2. If "no" to question 1 above, be content that I am "safe" around this person.
3. Accept that those around me are those I chose to be around. I am where I want to be. They are to be treated as most important and be treated well.
4. How did I do #3? I read a book called "How to talk so kids will listen, and how to listen so kids will talk." It actually applies to these kinds of adults. LOL! In fact, the skills I learned in this book have improved all of my relationships, even with those kinds of people, (which I suspect I was also.)
Good luck, Creme!
Last edited by crisan; 11-17-2011 at 06:15 AM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
honestly sounds like my ex, You need to compartmentalize and maybe take up meditation. Im not kidding 
...he sounds like he needs validation from his "female worker bees"....
