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Myth and stereotype #1457743 in this thread. Keep at it ladies...whatever makes you feel better You're right though...American men are sought after all over the world, American women aren't. Wonder why that is?
Because they're gullible. Incredibly so. They also have a reputation going for the "hot" girls rather than for anything of substance.
I've lived in 3 different countries and never had trouble getting a date in any of them. And I'm not "hot" or well off by any means - I'm an educated, multilingual, ambitious but overweight woman. I have gained significantly more weight following cancer treatment. Guess what - I *still* have no trouble getting men despite being 80 pounds over my goal weight and being poor (due to being young and the expense of cancer). And I don't have to date people with DUIs (and don't make excuses - you can go PERSONALLY apologize to my aunt for the husband she lost to a man who "only had a few drinks") or poor self image.
Make excuses all you want. If you can't find a "good American woman", then you only have to look back at yourself to find the problem. This is true of anyone who complains about finding a date. If I can date attractive (though not Brad Pitt - men that are on my level as far as looks), successful, interesting, confident men while ballooning 40 pounds, losing most of my hair, and fighting a disease that could kill me, then what excuse do you have?
People, please keep this thread on topic or it will be closed again. Re-read the OP and keep the discussion apropos to that.
Kindly refrain from personal attacks as well.
Now back to our regularly scheduled program.
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You think the men that feel this way would ADMIT to it? Frankly, I don't even think they are aware of it. But this is what you get when you want women to ask you out and pay for all the dates while at the same time talking about how much better women were in past generations. Some of the men on here complain about how they have to do all the work - when what they really seem to be saying is that they want the women to do all the work instead. If you want something in life - you have to put forth some effort. You can't just sit on your butt and complain. Just my two cents.
Good afternoon,
Hence the point of a private poll. No names are listed, so there's no need for those men to avoid giving their real answer.
I've read almost all of the "chivalry is dead" threads here, and it seems the source of the argument is primarily that equality is acceptable in all forms of society except dating. There is no way to get around that reality, regardless of how many claim "they and their friends" are the exception. Freeloading is given a pass, and requests for reciprocation are ridiculed on this forum.
My solution is "the one who initiates the date should pay" the first time, and afterward the other person should reciprocate. The men would probably still end up paying and initiating, but at least there's no room for them to complain if societal attitudes enforce reciprocation within the next date or so instead of continuous freeloading.
Some men do move to their wives' countries, particularly if they're older and on SS and and they can stretch the dollar further there. This way they can also protect them from evil influence.
It's true that American men were (are?) known around the world for making good husbands. Only that it doesn't really seem to apply to the particular type of men deliberately seeking foreign wives from countries with lower standard of living. They tend to be control freaks.
I certainly agree with the solution of moving to their future wives' countries.
I deleted all parts where I agree for the sake of preventing a long chain of replies.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn
But, those who do recognize it are not the ones making charges on the net. Those who recognize it realize they are the ones lacking, so they do what the must. They don't charge double standards. What's the point of discussing those guys any way since they're not here?
I prefer to speak on the entire subject and not just narrow it to the posters in the thread. This is especially needed in a forum where people love to generalize. Out of curiosity, I've spent a lot of time on forums where men discuss this subject, and most of them are of the "I'm considering it because I have no options" crowd, not the "American women suck" crowd. The latter group is usually smaller and consist of those who are all talk and don't really take the plunge, based on what I've read.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn
I may be wrong, but here's the rub. These guys don't appear to be interested in settling for the poor and (lower) middle class. Obesity and single moms are typically well represented among the poor and comments in this thread tell that these men really don't want to settle for that. I guess these are the women with the bad reputations? So, who doesn't want who again?
Dating slightly overweight and single mothers is usually one of my recommendations for men who are at a last resort option. I don't think it's desirable, but when one is at their last resort, they should certainly consider it.
Based on my overall experience with this topic, these men also have issues with overweight women and single moms. Dating in a lower class is not necessarily a better solution, it's like finding a needle in a haystack. Outside of those who fell to tragedy, lower classes come with certain "lower values" that make it a relationship even more difficult for a marriage-minded man or woman. I say this as someone who grew up in and have plenty of career experience working with citizens of this background.
Also, keep in mind that lower class women may not want these guys either because they have more than enough attention from more attractive or more successful men. (Successful compared to their level)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn
I think the continuous drop has been due to women's rights first and foremost. As far as who is fairing well, this is what I've been coming across...
I'm glad that women have rights now and am fine with the marriage rate going down as an unintended consequence of equality. (I wish we could reform divorce and family court policies, however).
I am only discussing this because you said the marriage rates go up and down due to economic concerns and I disagreed based on the charts I've seen that show a straight downward line in marriage rates for approximately 40 to 50 yrs.
I was hoping you had a link that covered the entire population's marriage rates historically (at least 1970 to 2010). I'm glad your demographic is doing fine.
You probably just don't notice it. I would guess a bit of willful ignoring.
I call them as I see them. I don't feel a need to give men a pass for any reason and usually throw out an example of how I don't in my posts. If you have examples, I'd be happy to call them out.
The only one that comes to mind immediately is onihC since he's always in these dating equality threads. His posts seem to give American women the benefit of the doubt yet people overlook it and attack him regardless. I don't know if he changed his position to this from a more radical one. If you name another frequent person, I'll look up their posting history.
I call them as I see them. I don't feel a need to give men a pass for any reason and usually throw out an example of how I don't in my posts. If you have examples, I'd be happy to call them out.
The only one that comes to mind immediately is onihC since he's always in these dating equality threads. His posts seem to give American women the benefit of the doubt yet people overlook it and attack him regardless. I don't know if he changed his position to this from a more radical one. If you name another frequent person, I'll look up their posting history.
I prefer to speak on the entire subject and not just narrow it to the posters in the thread. This is especially needed in a forum where people love to generalize. Out of curiosity, I've spent a lot of time on forums where men discuss this subject, and most of them are of the "I'm considering it because I have no options" crowd, not the "American women suck" crowd. The latter group is usually smaller and consist of those who are all talk and don't really take the plunge, based on what I've read.
Well, I suppose if you're going to speak to a larger population than it's time to start linking. I certainly won't take anyone's word and I'm not privy to conversations I haven't read from people I have never communicated with. I can only imagine *some balding, boring, overweight man who knows he's not much to look at, so he decides to purchase a wife*. I think I saw some youtube vids that addressed it a year or so ago.
Quote:
Dating slightly overweight and single mothers is usually one of my recommendations for men who are at a last resort option. I don't think it's desirable, but when one is at their last resort, they should certainly consider it.
Based on my overall experience with this topic, these men also have issues with overweight women and single moms. Dating in a lower class is not necessarily a better solution, it's like finding a needle in a haystack. Outside of those who fell to tragedy, lower classes come with certain "lower values" that make it a relationship even more difficult for a marriage-minded man or woman. I say this as someone who grew up in and have plenty of career experience working with citizens of this background.
Also, keep in mind that lower class women may not want these guys either because they have more than enough attention from more attractive or more successful men. (Successful compared to their level)
The first thing that comes to mind for me is -aren't these two of the same cloth? why is it a last resort for him when it's his own people? Regardless, these women are well rejected en masse by these guys. In my mind this squashes the whole I'm rejected side to the conversation. Now, as far as wanting and being rejected by women out of their league goes, surely the responsibility cannot be put on these women. Of course, that's what they do.
Quote:
I'm glad that women have rights now and am fine with the marriage rate going down as an unintended consequence of equality. (I wish we could reform divorce and family court policies, however).
I am only discussing this because you said the marriage rates go up and down due to economic concerns and I disagreed based on the charts I've seen that show a straight downward line in marriage rates for approximately 40 to 50 yrs.
I was hoping you had a link that covered the entire population's marriage rates historically (at least 1970 to 2010). I'm glad your demographic is doing fine.
Census provides marriage rates and there are plenty of studies that tie finances, level of education, and race to marriage rates. This is nothing new. I made two points in regards to economics 1. rights and 2. "As far as marriage rates go, as we have discussed in the past, it's tied to economics. Marriage rates are up for the affluent and down for the struggling. Things may change when/if the economy turns around."
One of the main differences between the affluent and the struggling is economics, although I'm sure education and culture are playing significant roles as well.
I call them as I see them. I don't feel a need to give men a pass for any reason and usually throw out an example of how I don't in my posts. If you have examples, I'd be happy to call them out.
I don't want to call out specific members, but if you read the forum and pay attention you will see it.
Quote:
The only one that comes to mind immediately is onihC since he's always in these dating equality threads. His posts seem to give American women the benefit of the doubt yet people overlook it and attack him regardless. I don't know if he changed his position to this from a more radical one. If you name another frequent person, I'll look up their posting history.
There are a few men on this forum who want subservient, financially independent women. Even this thread shows something similar. Not so much about asking on dates, but the idea of subservience without financial dependence. Out of one side of the mouth people yammer on about the traditional lady who will kowtow. Women by their very traditional nature who require access to the money pockets. Out of the other side of their mouths they put forth warnings of women who will try to put their hands into the money pockets. You know the morons. The one's who desire a stay at home wife and yet balk at the idea of alimony. It's quite schizo and common on this forum.
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You're right though...American men are sought after all over the world, American women aren't. Wonder why that is?
