First date- check comes, and he looks at me?! (girlfriend, man, sex)
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That's different. If the guy speaks up immediately then it's not a big deal. It's when he poses the question is when you might offer to pay. Or you could offer to pay your half later, after he pays the check.
ha, they never even ask me anything about paying..they just pay.
It is absolutely not normal to go dutch on a first date. That is only a trick pulled by the "you want to be equal, then act like a man" type of man...and that is by no means normal.
I will always offer to pay for part of the check, but if he accepts, there won't be a second date. What a cheapo.
Men have ROLES and just because you let them treat YOU like garbage doesn't mean other women will
Yeah, Marilyn... omniscient one. I've been with the same man for 32 years since we were both 15. I dated him for 14 years before we were married and I never had him pay for a single meal. I would assume that 32 years of happy togetherness and monogamous lifestyle would prove your remark is singularly obtuse and inane. Because a man doesn't pay for a meal does not make him "garbage." It means the woman he's dating has enough intelligence and indepedence to know she isn't his doormat.
I'm going to have to disagree with you here. I'm a man who always pays for first date. BUT, I don't support the view of predefined "roles". Doesn't matter who pays, or if the two are going dutch, if both are satisfied with the arrangement, who are we to say what is proper and what is not?
If it is "pre arranged" then that's FINE, but the OP didn't think it was.
I've never done Dutch on a first date - EVER, so this is new to me and honestly, I don't know how I would take it. Is this gonna be a sign of future cheapness? Will he really expect me to WANT to have sex with him if I continue to pay for my own dinners, etc.?
LOL! I don't think so, but hey, that's ME. I'm old school in that way.
But I would pay for my own coffee, etc., if this was a person I met online. This way, neither one of us OWES anybody ANYTHING if it doesn't work out.
I went on a date with a man I met on match. He talked the whole time, which I was going to chalk up to nerves, he's a federal officer, divorced with kids. I have three rules when I date, no kids, no cops and no ex wives. Well, needless to say, he broke all the rules. However, when emailing back and forth we seemed to click, and I was really open to the idea. Also, he said several times what good money he makes.
Dinner was nice, conversation flowed just fine... when the waitress came to ask whether or not everything was on one bill, he looks at me? I then told her politely, it would be two checks. The waitress could tell we were on a first date, and she kept it on one piece of paper, but two different totals. She also set it right in front of him. He never once offered. I put out my 20.00 for the meal, and left a very nice tip too. He left 1.00 for a tip.
This has never happened to me before, although once in relationships I turn into the sugar Mama.
Is this a deal breaker? Is this just a sign of what's to come? I wouldn't have made him pay, but it's the OFFER that would have been nice...
Um yeah the way he handled it. You need to discuss upfront the going dutch thing. But he didn't and bragged about his money. He was being a jerk and probably wasn't that into you.
And what are those "roles," pray tell? And what are women's roles? Let's gather around the campfire and discuss: would they be: housewife, mother, slave, cook, high school drop out??
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