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When a man invites a lady, she shouldn't pay for him, not in the beginning. Also, I left money for his cheap 1.00 tip for a fabulous waitress.
My son is a server - works so hard for every dime. Anyway, I am not cheap. If you are, don't go out to eat.
On my second date with my husband, he took me to a really cheap place with picnic tables - I was all dressed up - this was the 1980's!! -- he has since learned LOL!
(Once we got more serious, I definitely picked up my share of the meals).
As far as the tip goes, this shows you how he treats people.
Match.com date? I say it is fine to go Dutch, I would not judge the negative on that. However, he is divorced, three kids, fed officer. I say move on.
Don't compromise on what you want. I once found a guy on Match, he said he was a non-smoker, did not drink or do drugs...right...he was "quitting" smoking, only drank "socially", and smoked pot "recreationally"...right...he turned out to be a drug addict, alcoholic, smoker, which I did not find out for a few months...and by that time I sort of let it slide...right into a disaster, that I should have known better.
Stick to your guns on what you want, and don't want.
BTW...don't be anyone's "Sugar Mama" unless the sex is unbeleiveable. Then, it is almost worth it. I was a "sugar mama" for two guys, I knew what it was...and it was okay...but it was not anything real. Or ever going to be...
I gotta say, it's pretty ironic how some of the women on this board are throwing around the word "cheap" only because a man doesn't want to pay for them. If you expect a man to pay for you automatically, doesn't that make YOU the cheap one?
Thank you all for the great replies, also some of you for the entertainment. I would like to say I wasn't planning on a second date with this particular man. However, my question was in terms of future dates, and if women have found men to be more cheap when first dating or they get worse as time goes on? Money is not an issue for me, it's just the point of courtesy, and I guess I was raised a different way. I agree, I wouldn't want to date a woman either
Think about it. A first date is where a guy puts his VERY BEST foot forward. I've dated tightwads before, and they had the sense to at least feign generosity for at least the first few months. If a guy doesn't care enough to show a usual first step of interest (think about it, you split checks with your friends...paying for a first date is how a man customarily shows his interest), then it isn't going to get better.
I went on a date with a man I met on match. He talked the whole time, which I was going to chalk up to nerves, he's a federal officer, divorced with kids. I have three rules when I date, no kids, no cops and no ex wives. Well, needless to say, he broke all the rules. However, when emailing back and forth we seemed to click, and I was really open to the idea. Also, he said several times what good money he makes.
Dinner was nice, conversation flowed just fine... when the waitress came to ask whether or not everything was on one bill, he looks at me? I then told her politely, it would be two checks. The waitress could tell we were on a first date, and she kept it on one piece of paper, but two different totals. She also set it right in front of him. He never once offered. I put out my 20.00 for the meal, and left a very nice tip too. He left 1.00 for a tip.
This has never happened to me before, although once in relationships I turn into the sugar Mama.
Is this a deal breaker? Is this just a sign of what's to come? I wouldn't have made him pay, but it's the OFFER that would have been nice...
NEVER pay for the first date, EVER.
A man who does not at least offer to pay for the date is not a real man. Put him in the "undateable" bin and move on.
I went on a date with a man I met on match. He talked the whole time, which I was going to chalk up to nerves, he's a federal officer, divorced with kids. I have three rules when I date, no kids, no cops and no ex wives. Well, needless to say, he broke all the rules. However, when emailing back and forth we seemed to click, and I was really open to the idea. Also, he said several times what good money he makes.
Dinner was nice, conversation flowed just fine... when the waitress came to ask whether or not everything was on one bill, he looks at me? I then told her politely, it would be two checks. The waitress could tell we were on a first date, and she kept it on one piece of paper, but two different totals. She also set it right in front of him. He never once offered. I put out my 20.00 for the meal, and left a very nice tip too. He left 1.00 for a tip.
This has never happened to me before, although once in relationships I turn into the sugar Mama.
Is this a deal breaker? Is this just a sign of what's to come? I wouldn't have made him pay, but it's the OFFER that would have been nice...
I don't want to get the topic off track but no ex wives? I don't get that. I would imagine there are plenty of decent men that have exes and are completely out of the picture.
I am one of them.
The tip he left is the deal breaker. It's a sign on how he treats others. With all due respect I can't believe you have to poll the group on whether you should see him again. To me it's a no-brainer.
I always pay on the first date since I am the one who is asking.
It is common for the woman to offer. In fact, every date I have been on since my breakup/divorce has offered to pay.
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