Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have a pretty sweet car, I dress well, and I have a pretty nice place... even when I drove an average car, dressed okay, and had a "bleh" place, girls would ask to come over. I think they want to scope out how you live, your habits and general lifestyle... like, does he drive a nice car and dress well, but have a small closet packed with cats, anime DVD's, and empty pizza boxes and 40's? Or, does he have a clean place in a nice area with some cool and interesting stuff in it?
If there's one thing that I've learned in my years of dating, it's that you should never make assumptions about getting laid, because if you're a guy, chances are that you're probably wrong.
1. If a girl wants to come over, it's not necessarily because she wants to have sex.
2. If a you invite a girl over and she says yes, it's not necessarily because she wants to have sex.
3. If you want to go over to a girl's house and she says yes, it's not necessarily because she wants to have sex.
4. If a girl invites you over, it's not necessarily because she wants to have sex.
I've been invited over to a girl's place, or she's asked to come over to mine, and I've been convinced that sex was going to happen... and then... we cook dinner and watch a documentary about penguins. I've also been invited over or had her invite herself over and have been convinced we'll just cook dinner and watch reruns of Adventure Time, only to have the whole matter degenerate into a sex marathon that you call into work for.
This is why I don't go over men's homes no matter how much he says "nothing" will happen that "I don't want" (yes, I've heard this) nor do I invite him over my place, because he'll "assume" he's going to get some. Even if I said "no sex, just hanging out", he might not really believe it and still try anyway and I don't feel like being bothered with "Didn't I tell you no sex" drama.
Unless he's GAY, then I assume he'll want sex. Pretty cut and dry.
WTF, if a date asks to visit my apartment I think she might be down for making out, but sex?
Sometimes I think nowadays if a woman is down for kissing she's down for F-ing. Is this why there are so many teen moms? What happened to courting someone and building up to sex?
nah i invited that girl over to watch the notebook cuz i really wanted to watch the notebook
Thank you! I had a first date this past Sunday that started with lunch, progressed to visiting some antique shops and then to his house where he fixed me some hot tea and we listened to music. That was all! I got in my own car and went home and reflected on the nice time I had. We have texted and talked on the phone since then and are going out again this weekend. One mitigating factor is that neither of us is in the "raging hormones" stage of life so maybe that's why it was possible.
Originally posted by Back to NE:"What happened to courting someone and building up to sex? I guess I'm a dinosaur..."
Not at all! This is how it's supposed to be as far as I'm concerned.
I remember when I was all of nineteen and after this one particular date, this girl asked me back to her house. She was living with roommates in this house but had her own bedroom. Keep in mind all the roommates went to their parent's for the weekend and we were all alone. She led me to her room to "talk" yet there was no place to sit except on her bed. So there we are talking sitting on her bed!
Of course being a rather timid, shy, confused, yet horny 19yo male, all I was thinking was, "Focus, you are at her house...alone, sitting on her bed...with her. Man up you p**** and put on some moves!"
So I leaned in to kiss her figuring it would at least turn into an all out sucky-face make-out session but was only met with a "What are you doing?"
Ummm...you want to make out?
"No.."
Oh...ok...ummm...
"I just wanted to talk to you and try to learn the real you."
Oh, ahhh...I think I'll get going...umm...yeah...err...yeah...I have to get up early for ummm work, a special Saturday project we're doing.
"I think that would be best."
Driving home I was thinking WOW!!! And women wonder why men don't respond to signals short of grabbing his head and plowing it into their chests
Last edited by HansProof; 02-16-2012 at 01:51 PM..
^^And that is exactly why I never, ever assume I know what a woman is thinking. Because every single time I thought I knew, the truth was always the exact opposite. Always.
Yep, I saw that and then just told myself don't expect anything which is for the best because things may then get awkward. Really solid advice given on here though, definitely learned a bit.
Driving home I was thinking WOW!!! And women wonder why men don't respond to signals short of grabbing his head and plowing it into their chests
It's a tough equilibrium. On the one hand, a lot of women want a guy who will "take control" of a situation and lead when it comes to making moves, romance, etc., but either don't give signals, or give what are to most men extremely confusing signals. I think it helps, to me, that I was raised mostly by my mom, have two sisters, and have always had many strictly-platonic female friends.
To most women, there's absolutely nothing wrong with the idea of laying in bed and watching a movie with a female friend. In many cultures, it's still totally acceptable for a woman to hold hands with, go arm-in-arm with, or even cuddle with a female friend - many Asian and Southern European cultures are like this. Even in our own, these behaviors are much, much more acceptable with women than they are with men - when was the last time where you curled up in bed to drink tea and watch movie with one of your bros?
I have had female friends who just really, really wanted me to hold them when they've had a crappy day, or who have wanted to shower in my shower after a long bike ride or run together, or who came over to chat after a long, crappy, or emotionally tumultuous day and just want to take a nap in my bed. These are all girls I have absolutely no deigns on, and who have no deigns on me. I don't read anything more into it, because if I decided to go for their butt while holding them, got in the shower with them, or started kissing them in bed, they'd be shocked. To them, I'm just a friend, and this is just what friends do... to them, I'm their bestest guy friend ever, I'm like their brother (which FTR is one of the worst things a girl you're into can possibly tell you), and I think of them like my sisters.
At the core of it, I operate on a strict "no means no, and until she says yes, assume she means no" credo.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
