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How one votes in November is really a small one in comparison.
This is not an issue to me at all. In fact, I don’t even waste my time participating in this charade. Furthermore, I consider anybody who thinks he makes a difference by participating naïve at best.
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And that's the problem. Finding a suitable partner in life is a matter of one finding someone who makes you laugh, who makes you hot, and who can be trusted in your daily life and work together as you build a life. That's hard work in and of itself. Adding wholly unnecessary deal killers just makes your search that much harder. Why give oneself additional hoops to leap through in the attempt to find that fantasy mate who is not just hotter than flowing lava but also agrees with every opinion that issues forth from your mouth? And, besides, why on earth would you need a perfect clone of yourself?
As you know, I’m as shallow as it gets when it comes to flowing lava, but I can’t see having a life together and facing that life’s serious challenges with basically a total stranger, no matter how hot he is. I can’t even respect him, never mind make major decisions with him.
People have always disagreed politically, but what I can't stand more than anything is the relentless 'politicization' of everyday life over the last 20 years or so....you can hardly go anywhere in the American 'public square' without one group or another throwing politics in your face where its not appropriate or doesn't apply. I have fairly strong political views, but I don't discuss them where its not appropriate, ie, sporting events, church, etc, and I dont throw them in other peoples' faces.
We need more politics-free zones in this country.
Bingo. Rep for you.
Let me put it this way. I think a great deal about political matters. I read different sides of issues. I get the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal. If somebody asks my opinion, I'll share it.
But I don't demonize people for thinking differently than me. More importantly, like you, I get really, really tired of people thinking that every. single. dinner party or conversation is a potential opportunity to take to the lectern about the hot button issue of the day. OMG, I've defriended people on Facebook just because politics is all they discuss.
Politics is not life. And people who allow it to consume them are not really in the realm of the living. Yes, they have a pulse, breathe air, and the whatnot, but they are really little more than walking, talking robots spewing forth the bullet points of whatever political party they support.
It's really an impoverished way to live. And to think.
Let's not get too far off-topic here, this isn't a political discussion...
My next question is: what is going through this girl's head?
When she decided to tell me out of nowhere that because I'm not a liberal her parents may consider that a strike against me. I know the easy thing for a lot of people to say is "well she's crazy, or immature" and after 3 long dates I don't get that impression of her at all. I could be wrong, but let's say I'm not just for the fun of it:
Is she thinking about this because there's a possibility of a long-term relationship in her eyes?
Or
Is she looking for an out, a reason to stop seeing me and be able to justify it?
She did agree to go out with me again, but who knows. I'm just trying to get a read on where this girl's head is at. I know I'll never truly know, but I'm just curious as to how other people would interpret this behavior.
I haven't posted about my personal life in a while, mainly because I freak out over dating like I used to and I'm in a pretty happy place in my life, but I had a date last night in which she said something to me that I didn't think would be such a factor but I think is affecting her interest in me.
I met a girl on a dating site, I'm in my late 20's, she's 30, we're both leading pretty busy lifestyles right now so we've been on 3 dates at least 2 weeks apart from each other.
We were out on date 3 last night and things went really well, we had a lot of fun, and we were pretty flirty toward the end of the night. But at one point she told me that she really likes me, thinks I'm cute, and really nice....but that she comes from a really liberal family and she's not sure how her parents would react to her bringing home a Libertarian. I think she just doesn't understand libertarianism, which is fine, most people don't, and on some social issues they're very similar with slight differences. But the fact she's mulling this over in her head and sharing with me tells me she's really into me and this is something that would normally rule a guy out of her potential boyfriend dating pool and she's starting to think ahead to the "meet-the-parents" stage. Or....maybe it's a real concern and she's looking to drop me because of it but doesn't know how to break it to me.
Either way, we agreed to see each other again this coming weekend so I'm just gonna go with it, but I've just never heard of someone factoring political beliefs so heavily in whether they'd date someone. I mean I love political debates and it's a hobby of mine to read about politics and economics, but I never lose friends over it and I'm very understanding of other people's beliefs. Maybe others aren't so tolerable?
Wow. So she's 30 and thinks she's met a good guy.....but is afraid her parents won't like him over his political beliefs....
Unless you are a big tool about expressing your beliefs this shouldn't be a problem IMO.
I'm concerned about her judgment and it would be good to know her dating history. She sounds a bit like a *lister* you know....the gal (or guy) that was brought up thinking that everything must be perfect with the other person and anything else is "settling". Yep, no flex on their part....just a rigid checklist. They are the ones usually bitching about not finding the right guy to their friends that all sigh because her last 3 boyfriends were all good catches.
Wow. So she's 30 and thinks she's met a good guy.....but is afraid her parents won't like him over his political beliefs....
Unless you are a big tool about expressing your beliefs this shouldn't be a problem IMO.
I'm concerned about her judgment and it would be good to know her dating history. She sounds a bit like a *lister* you know....the gal (or guy) that was brought up thinking that everything must be perfect with the other person and anything else is "settling". Yep, no flex on their part....just a rigid checklist. They are the ones usually bitching about not finding the right guy to their friends that all sigh because her last 3 boyfriends were all good catches.
Finally, something to work with here.
Okay, you might be right. My impressions isn't that she's a lister, I think my last gf was one and she's still scouring the earth for mr. perfect while passing on many great guys.
The only relationship history I know is that she had a boyfriend through all of college but it ended mutually and they're still friends. That was a long time ago of course, but isn't really the habit of a lister.
My impressions: She's laid back. She has a busy life but doesn't brag about it, she just has a filled schedule and she goes out with me when our schedules match. She can seem shy at first but opens up fairly easily, she knows how to have fun, she's athletic and can make a fun time out of a simple date. I get the feeling that she's just comfortable with her life right now, she's had her same job forever and loves it, she owns a condo in the city that she plans on being at for a long time....by no means is she relationship hungry. I feel like she and I are in the same boat in terms of where we're at in our lives, but she's definitely closer with her parents and siblings, which is great.
That's what I get from her now, so maybe she likes me a lot right now and is thinking ahead (that's fine, we all do it to some extent) but maybe it's her signal of telling me the Ron Paul and End The Fed wristbands are too much and I need to tone it down a little when around her (I don't really bring up political discussion, she does).
That's what I got. Please, intelligent people feel free to chime in.
Okay, you might be right. My impressions isn't that she's a lister, I think my last gf was one and she's still scouring the earth for mr. perfect while passing on many great guys.
The only relationship history I know is that she had a boyfriend through all of college but it ended mutually and they're still friends. That was a long time ago of course, but isn't really the habit of a lister.
My impressions: She's laid back. She has a busy life but doesn't brag about it, she just has a filled schedule and she goes out with me when our schedules match. She can seem shy at first but opens up fairly easily, she knows how to have fun, she's athletic and can make a fun time out of a simple date. I get the feeling that she's just comfortable with her life right now, she's had her same job forever and loves it, she owns a condo in the city that she plans on being at for a long time....by no means is she relationship hungry. I feel like she and I are in the same boat in terms of where we're at in our lives, but she's definitely closer with her parents and siblings, which is great.
That's what I get from her now, so maybe she likes me a lot right now and is thinking ahead (that's fine, we all do it to some extent) but maybe it's her signal of telling me the Ron Paul and End The Fed wristbands are too much and I need to tone it down a little when around her (I don't really bring up political discussion, she does).
That's what I got. Please, intelligent people feel free to chime in.
Hard to say.
Judging from your wants and expectations which seem fairly mellow you don't really have to answer anything at this point and can just get to know her better.
You might be reading too much into it but I think that at least considering how your political opinions may show or be communicated should bear some self-evaluation...if not for this relationship but other relationships in your life?
We've all met people that can be a bit too passionate about something....sports, politics...whatever. Not saying this is you, just talking out loud.
Let's see, my wife is very liberal and I'm not. But, I don't have the same problem as you because her father is very conservative. For the most part, we don't get into politics. We do agree on some issues and we disagree on others.
I think what it all comes down to is how tolerant a person is about other's beliefs. I can see myself with a person of any race, religion or political belief, but if that person is not tolerant of others beliefs, it likely won't work out. Your problem with your gf is really based on how tolerant her family really is. While many far left liberals think they are tolerant, they are actually just as intolerant as many on the far right.
Politics is something bigger than ourselves by the way, it has everything to do with a world that will still be here long after we're gone.
Call me "seriously flawed" but if a woman I'm dating believes much of the following, I'm done with her: We don't need specifics. This thread is about relationships, not about your personal politics.
But maybe I should accept all this and date her anyway, but only if she is super hot, why else would you date someone with opposite values?
Let's see, my wife is very liberal and I'm not. But, I don't have the same problem as you because her father is very conservative. For the most part, we don't get into politics. We do agree on some issues and we disagree on others.
I think what it all comes down to is how tolerant a person is about other's beliefs. I can see myself with a person of any race, religion or political belief, but if that person is not tolerant of others beliefs, it likely won't work out. Your problem with your gf is really based on how tolerant her family really is. While many far left liberals think they are tolerant, they are actually just as intolerant as many on the far right.
Thank you for giving a real life example that this does in fact happen
I don't think you can stress highly enough the importance of mutual respect and a willingness to agree to disagree when it comes to the most successful marriages.
Let's not get too far off-topic here, this isn't a political discussion...
My next question is: what is going through this girl's head?
When she decided to tell me out of nowhere that because I'm not a liberal her parents may consider that a strike against me. I know the easy thing for a lot of people to say is "well she's crazy, or immature" and after 3 long dates I don't get that impression of her at all. I could be wrong, but let's say I'm not just for the fun of it:
Is she thinking about this because there's a possibility of a long-term relationship in her eyes?
Or
Is she looking for an out, a reason to stop seeing me and be able to justify it?
She did agree to go out with me again, but who knows. I'm just trying to get a read on where this girl's head is at. I know I'll never truly know, but I'm just curious as to how other people would interpret this behavior.
Well, as I previously answered, what I see is that she may be too wrapped up in what her parent's think - too emeshed with them like they've never cut the cord.
At her age it is great to admire and respect her parents, but wanting to please them should have fallen by the wayside by the time she was grown and on her own.
The only way to really know "what she is thinking" though is to ASK HER.
Use this as a conversation starter by asking her to better explain what she meant by that comment. It could have actually been a joke!
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Yep, no flex on their part....just a rigid checklist. They are the ones usually bitching about not finding the right guy to their friends that all sigh because her last 3 boyfriends were all good catches. 
