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Family is family, therefore it should be OK for them to ask. Just give them a true answer when them they ask, and don't worry about it. By the way, it's not a bad idea to have a female (or two) friends to hangout with, since it will help with future relationships with women.
So for the past several months (since I turned 21), my family and friends have been asking me about my dating life, who I see and if I started seeing women since I moved out of my parents house. Every time they ask me, I just tell them, "No I don't have time to date right now" or "I'm not really interested in that right now". The first time some one asked me if I was gay was when my friend and I went out for dinner after our Health Education class, and he asked me straight up if I was gay because I never really talk to many girls (aside from two close friends of mine). I told him I just have other priorities than relationships right now.
I thought the conversation was done, until one day my mother and I were talking on the phone ( she calls me almost everyday since I moved out) if I was seeing someone. She then asked me I was dating a guy or was gay, at this point I told her I wasn't seeing anyone and I didn't want to until I was financially stable and I had interest in dating again.
The thing is, I'm getting started into a career (wish to become an EMT and hopefully a future Paramedic, something I want to do) , and I really want to become more independent rather than looking for women right now. I'm really short, plus I have a really quirky personality (I'm reserved but I tend to open to people once I start trusting them). I also tend to keep a close circle of friends ( two friends and I rented an apartment close to our college, so it's easier to get back and forth from school).
Sorry if the post is too long, it's just that it kind of caught me off guard, has anyone ever had to deal with the same thing? Or is it just my family and friends looking out for my best interests? I really do love them, but in terms of giving my heart out to someone or even dating is not even something I really wish to deal with right now.
Just be you. Whatever it is in all that glory and whatnot..If you say your not gay, who is anyone to argue. Some people just don't want to put in the effort and time for something that is not a sure thing. I can understand that. I have a friend who is almost forty. He's had one girl in the last ten years..No biggie. He would just rather waist his time doing something else..
Most likely, someone will come around that makes you "want" to put the effort in. They will most likely become your first "priority". Until then, just be who you are. In time, everything will fall into place..
When people ask you stupid questions like that, stare then down and say, "why would you ask me such a personal question? Don't you realize how rude that is?"
If you keep up with this attitude, you're going to find yourself in your late 20s and still single. The unmarrieds population drops faster in the 20s than any other age. So it'll become difficult to meet a woman after 30. I noticed this with people I know who are in their 30s and 40s and are still unmarried and childless. They end up regretting it and wish they'd spent more time meeting someone to marry.
Keep doing what you're doing career wise but don't neglect your other part of life. There's more to life than a career and making lots of money.
I understand what you mean, I'm only 21 right now. So there's no need to rush into looking for companionship especially since I'm this young at this stage. Plus I notice, more people are mature as they are older rather than younger.
OP, are you sure you're not gay? Just wondering because I could be working 100 hour weeks trying to pay off $200k in student loan and credit card debt while having all of $500 in the bank and I'd still do whatever I could to make time for chicks (or at least try to get some type of friends with benefits situation going). You don't have to seriously date anyone, but if you're truly straight, you should at least have a desire to find a few women to hook up with on a fairly regular basis.
That said, focusing on getting your career and financial situation together isn't really a legitimate excuse as nothing can keep truly straight men away from women. You may want to do some serious soul searching and figure out why you're being this way.
Last edited by bicoastal10; 02-26-2012 at 02:29 PM..
OP, are you sure you're not gay? Just wondering because I could be working 100 hour weeks trying to pay off $200k in student loan and credit card debt while having all of $500 in the bank and I'd still do whatever I could to make time for chicks (or at least try to get some type of friends with benefits situation going). You don't have to seriously date anyone, but if you're truly straight, you should at least have a desire to find a few women to hook up with on a fairly regular basis.
That said, focusing on getting your career and financial situation together isn't really a legitimate excuse as nothing can keep truly straight men away from women. You may want to do some serious soul searching and figure out why you're being this way.
It's funny because my friend said the same exact same thing, truth be told, I'm not particularly comfortable with just having one night stands with women and to be honest, I don't see myself as that type of "attractive guy". I'm normally well reserved, people call me "cute" but as far as certain boundaries go I have certain standards. Haha
I really love it when the assumption is made that a male is gay when they don't have a woman in their life... and obviously no man either.
I say let it all slide without fuss or drama and quietly tell them you are not gay. Let them make the fuss if they want.
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