Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Ah, "Asexual"? I never really paid much attention to that, I heard some people are asexual but I never really thought that I could be "asexual" though. Haha
I think it's all where one is on a couple of planes or dimensions.
For example one may have a certain kind of sex drive that makes him or her not at all choosey, they can sleep with absolutely anyone but of a particular gender only. They are on the hypersexual side of the line.
Then there is the other dimension -- some people are strictly heterosexual or strictly homosexual.
Someone who is on the somewhat asexual side may be sexually attracted to very few people in his or her whole life -- but when they are sexually attracted to someone it's always heterosexual (or always homosexual).
So I believe someone can be extremely heterosexual but at the same time not always aroused by everyone who comes along - even asexual at times.
Also someone may be hypersexual and also not very heterosexual and want to have sex with anyone who comes along -- male or female.
Asexual can be because other things are more time consuming at the time, but later on that can change. I never assume someone who isn't dating or having sex is probably in the closet to themselves because I also think some people are choosier and they will have sex but not with everyone all the time.
So for the past several months (since I turned 21), my family and friends have been asking me about my dating life, who I see and if I started seeing women since I moved out of my parents house. Every time they ask me, I just tell them, "No I don't have time to date right now" or "I'm not really interested in that right now". The first time some one asked me if I was gay was when my friend and I went out for dinner after our Health Education class, and he asked me straight up if I was gay because I never really talk to many girls (aside from two close friends of mine). I told him I just have other priorities than relationships right now.
I thought the conversation was done, until one day my mother and I were talking on the phone ( she calls me almost everyday since I moved out) if I was seeing someone. She then asked me I was dating a guy or was gay, at this point I told her I wasn't seeing anyone and I didn't want to until I was financially stable and I had interest in dating again.
The thing is, I'm getting started into a career (wish to become an EMT and hopefully a future Paramedic, something I want to do) , and I really want to become more independent rather than looking for women right now. I'm really short, plus I have a really quirky personality (I'm reserved but I tend to open to people once I start trusting them). I also tend to keep a close circle of friends ( two friends and I rented an apartment close to our college, so it's easier to get back and forth from school).
Sorry if the post is too long, it's just that it kind of caught me off guard, has anyone ever had to deal with the same thing? Or is it just my family and friends looking out for my best interests? I really do love them, but in terms of giving my heart out to someone or even dating is not even something I really wish to deal with right now.
The important thing to do is to keep your sense of humor. When someone pries into your personal life, simply smile or laugh and say..."oh there will be plenty of time for romance after I get my EMT certificate. For now, I am just concentrating on my future so that I can provide a good life for my future wife". bada bing
Or, if someone asks you if you are gay, just say... "No, are you?" with a big smile of course.
Put posters of some naked women in your room. If your buddies insist that you are gay, tell them that that's not what their girlfriend said after you effed her. And keep reminding them that you are not gay so they should look somewhere else for whatever they're looking for.
The important thing to do is to keep your sense of humor. When someone pries into your personal life, simply smile or laugh and say..."oh there will be plenty of time for romance after I get my EMT certificate. For now, I am just concentrating on my future so that I can provide a good life for my future wife". bada bing
Or, if someone asks you if you are gay, just say... "No, are you?" with a big smile of course.
20yrsinBranson
LOL Then they'd be more inclined to think that I'm gay, haha.
Put posters of some naked women in your room. If your buddies insist that you are gay, tell them that that's not what their girlfriend said after you effed her. And keep reminding them that you are not gay so they should look somewhere else for whatever they're looking for.
My cousin used to have tons of bikini pics of women posted all over his room. Needless to say my little brother was more than interested in his room than he needed to be. lol
Same here and I'm 34 (5 years ago since I last dated)..lol. I don't think companionship is a totally mandatory part of life.
Totally understand and agree. A person gets sick of dating...the time, the money, the wasted energy, the "one night stand", or worse yet, the "fatal attraction" situation.
An earlier comment about the 20s and the fall-out of people from the singles scene is true, though. During their 20s, one can pursue NSA relationships (you know, with benefits) and it was more fun to date if you didn't find someone to your liking for a "permanent" relationship, while a lot of friends from college or grad school who lined someone up are getting married. From the 30s onward, these opportunities don't occur as much, as women want a relationship, are still looking for their "frat boy," want a daddy for their kids from a failed marriage, or are working through stuff.
What's funny is that, in office settings, it is catty women, who most men wouldn't want anything to do with, who question a man's sexuality (saw a comment on another thread about a woman questioning the sexual orientation of a "black man who dressed well and was articulate" - kudos to the black guy!). Most men do not get into this nonsense unless someone is "flaming" and it becomes offensive.
Last edited by robertpolyglot; 02-26-2012 at 05:19 PM..
I think it's all where one is on a couple of planes or dimensions.
For example one may have a certain kind of sex drive that makes him or her not at all choosey, they can sleep with absolutely anyone but of a particular gender only. They are on the hypersexual side of the line.
Then there is the other dimension -- some people are strictly heterosexual or strictly homosexual.
Someone who is on the somewhat asexual side may be sexually attracted to very few people in his or her whole life -- but when they are sexually attracted to someone it's always heterosexual (or always homosexual).
So I believe someone can be extremely heterosexual but at the same time not always aroused by everyone who comes along - even asexual at times.
Also someone may be hypersexual and also not very heterosexual and want to have sex with anyone who comes along -- male or female.
Asexual can be because other things are more time consuming at the time, but later on that can change. I never assume someone who isn't dating or having sex is probably in the closet to themselves because I also think some people are choosier and they will have sex but not with everyone all the time.
Ah, that makes sense, although in general I am attracted to the opposite sex, I generally just don't take it beyond that since the only reason why is just because they are physically attractive.
OP, you sound like a great guy who has plenty of common sense. At least your fam isn't afraid to ask if you're gay. I think my family may have wondered about me too. I'm sure if the right woman crossed your path you'd make her a priority. You're fine how you are now. Bonus points to you.
I really love it when the assumption is made that a male is gay when they don't have a woman in their life... and obviously no man either.
I say let it all slide without fuss or drama and quietly tell them you are not gay. Let them make the fuss if they want.
not just men. same assumption is made if you're a woman too.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
