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So for the past several months (since I turned 21), my family and friends have been asking me about my dating life, who I see and if I started seeing women since I moved out of my parents house. Every time they ask me, I just tell them, "No I don't have time to date right now" or "I'm not really interested in that right now". The first time some one asked me if I was gay was when my friend and I went out for dinner after our Health Education class, and he asked me straight up if I was gay because I never really talk to many girls (aside from two close friends of mine). I told him I just have other priorities than relationships right now.
I thought the conversation was done, until one day my mother and I were talking on the phone ( she calls me almost everyday since I moved out) if I was seeing someone. She then asked me I was dating a guy or was gay, at this point I told her I wasn't seeing anyone and I didn't want to until I was financially stable and I had interest in dating again.
The thing is, I'm getting started into a career (wish to become an EMT and hopefully a future Paramedic, something I want to do) , and I really want to become more independent rather than looking for women right now. I'm really short, plus I have a really quirky personality (I'm reserved but I tend to open to people once I start trusting them). I also tend to keep a close circle of friends ( two friends and I rented an apartment close to our college, so it's easier to get back and forth from school).
Sorry if the post is too long, it's just that it kind of caught me off guard, has anyone ever had to deal with the same thing? Or is it just my family and friends looking out for my best interests? I really do love them, but in terms of giving my heart out to someone or even dating is not even something I really wish to deal with right now.
Shug you're gay and you're in denial. You can't even be honest on a anonymous message board...
Mother always knows. At least you know she'll accept you when you finally do sashay out of the closest.
I don't see why you should be concerned if your child told you he was homosexual, the most important thing to realize is showing you care for him regardless of his/her lifestyle.
Of course I would still love and care for my child but I wouldn't approve of or accept their decision. I'd probably be disappointed in him/her as would my Grandparents.
Sorry if the post is too long, it's just that it kind of caught me off guard, has anyone ever had to deal with the same thing? Or is it just my family and friends looking out for my best interests? I really do love them, but in terms of giving my heart out to someone or even dating is not even something I really wish to deal with right now.
Maybe they have your best interests at heart, maybe they are just curious and trying to make conversation, maybe their own lives are so devoid of interest that they have to pry into others' just to give themselves something to think about, and maybe they are asking just to judge you because they are jerks. It really depends on the person asking.
The best way to handle it would be something like this:
"So are you dating anyone?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Just curious."
"Oh." And then move on to another topic, especially if the inquiry is coming from people you don't know very well. It's really none of their business.
The bad news is that if it's not one rude question, it will be another. The cycle goes like this:
Are you dating anyone? ---> Is it serious? ---> When are you going to get married? ---> When are you going to have kids? ---> When are you going to have another child?
Answer any of these in the negative ---> Why not? ---> Explanation of why you should.
They are his friends and family, not complete strangers. I would probably question them more if they DIDN'T ask about his dating life.
Makes me wonder, what's wrong with you?
It seems like every post you make you're lashing out at somebody....
I don't get it...
"Makes me wonder, what's wrong with you?".....how much time you got?
If you tell someone on more then one occasion and set them straight as to what they are asking and they still continue to mettle, they need to be told in a more 'firm' manner to mind their own damn buisness. Whether they are your family, friends or w/e they don't need to be all in your buisness. I always sound like I am lashing out even when I'm not lashing out, like now.
They are his friends and family, not complete strangers. I would probably question them more if they DIDN'T ask about his dating life.
Why? He's 21 so he's a grown man in the eyes of the law. As long as he's doing something with his life and not a jailbird then it's none of their business. There are worse things to be in life then being single or a virgin folks. (Although I'm not insinuating that the OP is a virgin I'm just saying)
Of course I would still love and care for my child but I wouldn't approve of or accept their decision. I'd probably be disappointed in him/her as would my Grandparents.
If that was my parents' attitude towards my gayness, I sure wouldn't feel loved and cared by them.
You can’t pick and choose what you want to accept and not accept about your own child. That’s not love.
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There must be a flow chart for this somewhere.
