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I haven't worked in a corporate setting in over 20 years as I have either freelanced or have been self-employed in some form or the other so have really never encounted female beechyness in the work place. My memories of working within a large firm are actually happy ones except for one place. Other women I know tell me a different story and I'm so glad I never have to put up with the crap. I think women on the whole are very insecure or have a lot of fear....you're out to steal their boy friend/husband, their jobs, they think you're prettier than they are, have better clothes, have a better live...who the hell knows. I'd be a millionaire a zillion times over if I had the answer.
Even back in my bad old days whenever I was stopped while driving by a cop, I'd always get away with the wag of a finger by a male cop, the women however were not having it and I'd always get a ticket, a dirty look and attitude.
As for friends I have no biitchy friends as discarded them all waaaaay back and my closest friend has been so for 25 years.
I wouldnt be catty behind your back. I have no problem telling you whats up to your face....
I can get along with most women. However, most women also annoy me after a while, therefore usually I keep them at a distance relationship-wise. Its a rare female that I allow to know me better than others.
Alot of personalities are like onions- lots of layers, and usually not everybody gets to see every layer. Most people dont get past the 3rd layer.
Well straight up is good!
PEOPLE in general can annoy me and I'm sure I can annoy them, but then I don't hold great expectations of best friends forever with people. I figure we just muddle along and at some point we will come to a bump in the friendship which we will either negotiate and continue forward or we'll go our separate ways. I don't hold ill will if we go our separate ways I just figure that we've come as far along the path together as we can and now we need to take a different fork in the road. I guess I believe that saying about friends for a season etc.
I really can't be bothered with gossip and backstabbing offends me no end so if I'm not happy with someone I'll tell them. They will either take it on board or they won't. I'm also not one for living in a friend's pocket or have them living in mine. I like to see my friends and catch up but we all have busy lives and we don't need to be discussing the minutiae of life on a daily basis. I guess I prefer quality over quantity so with that in mind there is very little time for cattiness.
Perhaps it's just boredom that gets people into this mean and catty behaviour? There's not enough other interesting and important stuff going on in their world so instead of recognizing they need to get out and seek their own internal fulfillment they instead focus on tearing down those around them out of frustration?
Most women don't annoy me because whenever they're exhibiting the kind of behaviour that bores me senseless I just change the subject or remove myself and go do something interesting. I've got some great female friends from doing it that way and some great male friends also. As far as I can see when guys are feeling bored they're just as catty. And when it comes to work, well that's an artificial environment anyway. Best thing you can do when it comes to work is develop a really good professional "persona" that doesn't include getting too close, get in, do the job and at the end of the day hang it up and go live your life.
PEOPLE in general can annoy me and I'm sure I can annoy them, but then I don't hold great expectations of best friends forever with people. I figure we just muddle along and at some point we will come to a bump in the friendship which we will either negotiate and continue forward or we'll go our separate ways. I don't hold ill will if we go our separate ways I just figure that we've come as far along the path together as we can and now we need to take a different fork in the road. I guess I believe that saying about friends for a season etc.
I really can't be bothered with gossip and backstabbing offends me no end so if I'm not happy with someone I'll tell them. They will either take it on board or they won't. I'm also not one for living in a friend's pocket or have them living in mine. I like to see my friends and catch up but we all have busy lives and we don't need to be discussing the minutiae of life on a daily basis. I guess I prefer quality over quantity so with that in mind there is very little time for cattiness.
Perhaps it's just boredom that gets people into this mean and catty behaviour? There's not enough other interesting and important stuff going on in their world so instead of recognizing they need to get out and seek their own internal fulfillment they instead focus on tearing down those around them out of frustration?
Most women don't annoy me because whenever they're exhibiting the kind of behaviour that bores me senseless I just change the subject or remove myself and go do something interesting. I've got some great female friends from doing it that way and some great male friends also. As far as I can see when guys are feeling bored they're just as catty. And when it comes to work, well that's an artificial environment anyway. Best thing you can do when it comes to work is develop a really good professional "persona" that doesn't include getting too close, get in, do the job and at the end of the day hang it up and go live your life.
I have a rule for myself when Im gossiping or being catty. I never say anything I wouldnt say to their face if they asked me what I was talking about.
But, then again, I also dont believe in "tact" in very many situations. To me, there's no use in making the truth fluffy and comfortable. It is what it is. Tact usually just gets the message mixed up.
I have a friend that gave up saying everything negative for Lent one year this meant EVERYTHING...traffic, cold coffee, other people. blah, blah, blah...anyway, she found it increasingly harder to do so she wore a rubber bracelet type thing (Live Strong type thing) and everytime she said anything ugly about someone she would change the wrist it was on....eventually the rash on her wrists went away after Lent...
Tact is being honest and direct but respectful of the other person. Also I've found that people's tone and facial expression can make the so-called "truth" sound much worse than it really is.........every heard making a mountain out of a mole hill........yep.....women do that a lot...and guys too....it is annoying.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Colddiamond102
I have a rule for myself when Im gossiping or being catty. I never say anything I wouldnt say to their face if they asked me what I was talking about.
But, then again, I also dont believe in "tact" in very many situations. To me, there's no use in making the truth fluffy and comfortable. It is what it is. Tact usually just gets the message mixed up.
I have a friend that gave up saying everything negative for Lent one year this meant EVERYTHING...traffic, cold coffee, other people. blah, blah, blah...anyway, she found it increasingly harder to do so she wore a rubber bracelet type thing (Live Strong type thing) and everytime she said anything ugly about someone she would change the wrist it was on....eventually the rash on her wrists went away after Lent...
I have a question for you Artsy and I hope you are not offended by me asking...do you think gay men are as mean to each other as women are? I've always wondered...
I haven't worked in a corporate setting in over 20 years as I have either freelanced or have been self-employed in some form or the other so have really never encounted female beechyness in the work place. My memories of working within a large firm are actually happy ones except for one place. Other women I know tell me a different story and I'm so glad I never have to put up with the crap. I think women on the whole are very insecure or have a lot of fear....you're out to steal their boy friend/husband, their jobs, they think you're prettier than they are, have better clothes, have a better live...who the hell knows. I'd be a millionaire a zillion times over if I had the answer.
Even back in my bad old days whenever I was stopped while driving by a cop, I'd always get away with the wag of a finger by a male cop, the women however were not having it and I'd always get a ticket, a dirty look and attitude.
As for friends I have no biitchy friends as discarded them all waaaaay back and my closest friend has been so for 25 years.
As being women we can be catty, it is nothing to be proud of but we can still do it.
I think some of the great things between female friends is, they can tell each other almost everything. They will discuss the things they dislike about our bodies that I don't know if men will do the same or not.
Having women friends is great, but you will always run into the one's that are out to make your life miserable.
I used to have a VERY negative friend, she could not find one positive thing in life, I had to dump her too, I felt it was dragging me down to be exposed to that all the time.
I have a question for you Artsy and I hope you are not offended by me asking...do you think gay men are as mean to each other as women are? I've always wondered...
I know you asked Artsy, not me... but I'm going to comment anyway.
I've been around gay guys a lot in my life... and I don't know if they do this to each other, but I've met a lot of gay guys that were as catty to WOMEN as catty women are to each other.
Not all of course, but yeah, enough for me to notice! The same type of talking behind the back, knocking what she's wearing or her hair, backstabbing bs.
Incidentally the kind of women I get along with long term are more "guy like"... tomboys, no-nonsense, straightforward types. In other words, they have personality traits usually considered masculine. These women don't make you guess as to how they are feeling and if they don't like your company, they don't hang out with you. I have experienced some insane (think Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction, or Rebecca De Mornay in The Hand That Rocks The Cradle) female behavior, and it was something I never saw coming. I am VERY selective now as to who I form friendships with.
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