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Never...too big a chance....I like sex too much...he is likely either freakishly religious, afraid (too much) of STIs, afraid of intimacy, or has zero sex drive. I can think of no good reasons worth the risk. Uhm....and I'm never remarrying anyway so that's the end of THAT!
I was temporarily banished for being "rude" (= blunt truth-telling) so I couldn't respond when this thread was initially active, but:
Stick with your principles, despite what people may say. They aren't my principles but I can't see anything dishonorable in them. You will find women who want to go out with you if you are a friendly pleasant guy to be with. Ideally, by the time the subject of having sex comes up, your woman of choice will already be in love with you. Maybe you can draw comfort from knowing that your attitude was that of the vast majority of humans from 100,000 years ago, or whenever we separated from the apes, till about 1965. The contrary attitude is really a creation of the last 50 years or so.
I haven't ever been a young woman out in the dating world, but I suspect there are a lot of young women who would like to go out with a guy with the opportunity to really get to know him, without the constant pressure to have sex on some kind of timetable. I know that when I was dating, I tried not to make "let's do it" the primary focus of our time together.
You know, there are guys out there with very small units that refuse to give oral...lol. My friend dated a guy like that briefly. He was a nice guy but their sex life was not satisfying. She said he had the smallest unit she had ever seen, like less than half of average ..
Sexual comparability is a big part of a strong relationship.
I didn't know with the one I've talked about, though I started guessing during our first night together. But nothing he did was either thoughtless, nor clod-like. Probably the biggest dead giveaway was how he was a very awkward kisser, he had some learning to do there. Didn't take him long, though.
He certainly did not um...rush through the act. He savored, and made sure I had a wonderful experience, too. The ones who rush and fumble about are usually the young'uns. And they can be like that even if they aren't virgins. Maturity is as valuable as experience.
We actually had a bit of disagreement over whether he was in fact a virgin. He started talking about backrubs (!?!?) and a couple other things he had done with women, and in fact said something to the effect that he believed some women could get off from a really good back rub, and I just gave him a look and said straight out, "Have you ever put your ..... inside of another human being?" and I got an answer then.
Then I grinned and told him he was adorable and kissed his face. Because he was all shy about it and I thought it was absolutely priceless.
I had an experience, where MAYBE the guy was a virgin...or, he was just a clod. It was supposed to be our first time together, and it was supposed to be somewhat a big deal.
So, we do the deed, but I swear to God...it was over before I realized we'd actually started. He then apologized for coming so fast, saying it'd been a long time, and then he rolled off of me and promptly fell asleep.
IF I'd known ahead of time that he was a virgin, (not saying he was...personally, I don't think he was) I would've been more understanding. As it was, I broke up with him soon after. Actually, I tried to ghost him, although he made that pretty difficult.
I had an experience, where MAYBE the guy was a virgin...or, he was just a clod. It was supposed to be our first time together, and it was supposed to be somewhat a big deal.
So, we do the deed, but I swear to God...it was over before I realized we'd actually started. He then apologized for coming so fast, saying it'd been a long time, and then he rolled off of me and promptly fell asleep.
IF I'd known ahead of time that he was a virgin, (not saying he was...personally, I don't think he was) I would've been more understanding. As it was, I broke up with him soon after. Actually, I tried to ghost him, although he made that pretty difficult.
It has been my experience with male virgins (and I've had quite a few, it was sort of a hobby in high school) that they're really happy to be there, doing the thing, and they don't just fall asleep after. They want to sorta lie there and be all happy they're next to a naked lady.
The most selfish, horribly selfish, man I was ever with, claimed to have a LOT of experience. Like I can cope if a fellow finishes a bit too soon, so long as he is willing to participate (even minimally) in me getting mine another way, even just lying next to me with a hand on me so I feel like he's still "present" is enough... When that happened with this one dude, and I said I would still like to um, finish, he actually put on his pants and left the room. To me, that's right up there with that one goofball that a poster complained about, when she vocalized during the act, he lost his mojo...like wow, really?
I mean, I can forgive a guy for not getting me off, but he'd better not react negatively to the very idea for crying out loud!
It has been my experience with male virgins (and I've had quite a few, it was sort of a hobby in high school) that they're really happy to be there, doing the thing, and they don't just fall asleep after. They want to sorta lie there and be all happy they're next to a naked lady.
The most selfish, horribly selfish, man I was ever with, claimed to have a LOT of experience. Like I can cope if a fellow finishes a bit too soon, so long as he is willing to participate (even minimally) in me getting mine another way, even just lying next to me with a hand on me so I feel like he's still "present" is enough... When that happened with this one dude, and I said I would still like to um, finish, he actually put on his pants and left the room. To me, that's right up there with that one goofball that a poster complained about, when she vocalized during the act, he lost his mojo...like wow, really?
I mean, I can forgive a guy for not getting me off, but he'd better not react negatively to the very idea for crying out loud!
Not that it's any better but maybe he thought you wanted privacy so you could 'finish' it yourself.
Maybe he thought he was being considerate.
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look and said straight out, "Have you ever put your ..... inside of another human being?" and I got an answer then.
