Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I would advise to do more than just hope you meet someone who feels that way. I would not give a person who does not share my view of the future a lot of my time anyway.
Sure. One motivation behind getting married is to make sure that someone you love is "taken care of" in the event of your untimely demise, whether it's through assets, the house you live in, etc.
But there is a flipside to that. I think about this, because in this nosy, judgmental world of ours, people have had the lack of manners to get up in my face and my SO's and say, "Why don't you two get married already?" The only one we give a free pass to with that is his 91-year-old grandmother.
Aside from personal reasons, there are practical ones for not wanting to get married. For example, he has a house, two cars, and an expensive, gear-heavy hobby, and I am interested in none of that. I want nothing to do with homeownership (least of all on Long Island), from worrying about a shaky resale market and dropping property values to dealing with storm damage. Heaven forbid something should happen to him, his family can clean out his house and deal with selling his cars, etc. I'd rather not put myself through the hassle and aggravation, especially when I'd be grieving. I've seen what people go through with that, with the aforementioned idiots crawling out of the woodwork laying claim, and just no. His stuff, his family, they can have it. It sounds cold, but there it is. If I wanted to blend and merge that way, I'd be dating someone with the goal of marriage. Heck, I'd have married my college sweetheart, or stayed married to my ex. Money and material goods aren't everything. Quite often they are more of a PITA than they are worth.
And my days of cleaning whiskers out of the sink and man-pee off the toilet rim are over, I don't care whose they are.
lol. You mean you dont want the American dream of five figure school and property taxes??....
Its good to know what you want, which is different from when we are 25, before marriage, imagining a nice happy home. When you are subsequently married, you are a good cook (but its not appreciated) you pay your way and take care of the house, yet come home to a house which needs cleaning and maintenance 24/7 (especially if the spouse is a slob), the idea of a house loses its lustre.
I cannot wait to have a small kitchen in a walkable city and no spare bedrooms. The ex used the guestroom as a catch all for laundry, never lifted a finger for minor repairs, and I still have a two car garage filled with his junk.
The long term goal now is to keep my sanity and meet someone normal.lol. NO marriage or house.
I'm not going to spend more than four to six months on a waffler. My time is valuable, whether "he" thinks so or not. The more spoiled & narcissistic a person is, the less sensitive they are to the issue of time for the woman in the relationship.
I'm not going to spend more than four to six months on a waffler. My time is valuable, whether "he" thinks so or not. The more spoiled & narcissistic a person is, the less sensitive they are to the issue of time for the woman in the relationship.
I agree. If a guy doesn't know what he wants after enough time, he is probably just wasting time.
Why Continue Dating Someone You Know You're Not Going To Marry???
I was wondering why some people will keep dating someone that they know there is no possiblity of having a future with? I mean, if you KNOW they aren't "the one" what is the point? Isn't it just a waste of both of your time? Isn't that the point of dating? To find someone that you want to marry, or at the very least, have something with them that resembles a marriage? Like a long term relationship where you both "settle down" with one another, even if you don't actually want to go through the motions of getting married?
I can see someone saying that they are "just having fun" or something to that effect but with an expiration date on it, it just seems like a waste of valuable time. { imho }
So why stay with someone knowing there is no future with them?
I don't know the answer to the question but in my case I have made it clear to everyone that I'm not interested in being married and/or having kids. Saves everyone from confusion, disappointment, frustration, etc.
[it has kept me single for a long time, though...]
I was wondering why some people will keep dating someone that they know there is no possiblity of having a future with? I mean, if you KNOW they aren't "the one" what is the point? Isn't it just a waste of both of your time? Isn't that the point of dating? To find someone that you want to marry, or at the very least, have something with them that resembles a marriage? Like a long term relationship where you both "settle down" with one another, even if you don't actually want to go through the motions of getting married?
I can see someone saying that they are "just having fun" or something to that effect but with an expiration date on it, it just seems like a waste of valuable time. { imho }
So why stay with someone knowing there is no future with them?
they are still getting some benefit from dating eachother. Either the company, sex, or anything else they think is worth both there time.
It's the difference between walking somewhere with a goal in mind and a time to be there, and taking a stroll and enjoying being outside.
Sometimes you're in a hurry. Sometimes the weather's bad and you go back inside. And sometimes it's just nice to be outside.
^This is really great.
I've definitely dated people I knew I wouldn't end up marrying (mostly because of my age and just not being ready) but it's great experience and sometimes living in the present is what matters most.
The only reason would be for the sex. It seems unfair to not cut the person loose and let them move on to find someone who would be a better fit, but this type of relationship that's more about passing the time until something better comes along is pretty common. It's better to be honest with the person and break up before you find a better match, so that you don't have to dump them abruptly and cause even more drama than otherwise, but this doesn't seem to be the way some people operate.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
His stuff, his family, they can have it. It sounds cold, but there it is. If I wanted to blend and merge that way, I'd be dating someone with the goal of marriage. Heck, I'd have married my college sweetheart, or stayed married to my ex. Money and material goods aren't everything. Quite often they are more of a PITA than they are worth.
lol. You mean you dont want the American dream of five figure school and property taxes??....
Why Continue Dating Someone You Know You're Not Going To Marry???
]
