A Relationship Question about post- pregnancy looks (guys, attracted, kiss)
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I think if men want to be truly supportive, they would happily offer to watch the baby so mom can have alone time and exercise. Chipping in and cooking a healthy meal wouldn't hurt. It is surprising the amount of men that get put out by a woman wanting to exercise without bringing baby along.
It's surprising how clueless men are about their role in a partnership, about how they should relate to women. In simpler societies, it comes naturally to men to help their women during pregnancy and after childbirth. There's a disconnect in our society. Women are expected to go right back to work after giving birth, too, or else it's considered they're cheating the company. Women are seen as a liability to employers. It's a draconian world for women.
What Jessica Simpson does, and all the tabloid like attention she receives is not necessarily representative of how normal, rational people really think and behave. It does encourage objectifying women which is sad, but I think most normal guys do not look at the physical changes their spouse/SO go through as a deteriment to their beauty.
There's a difference between letting yourself go and what pregnancy can, not necessarily do, to your body. I gained 60 lbs with all 3 pregnancies and lost all the weight. I have no stretch marks. But with my last pregnancy, my body didn't bounce back the way it did like the other two. The problem might even be that I've lost too much weight and my skin just doesn't have the elasticity it had two plus years ago. Needless to say, I look great dressed, but naked is a whole different story.
I always tease my husband that he better not die on me because then I'm really screwed! Not only will I have "baggage" (3kids), but my body is banged up. once my youngest is a little older, I will be paying a visit to the plastic surgeon's office.
And although my husband doesn't outright say anything negative about my body, the fact that he's not trying to talk me out of visiting a surgeon speaks volumes. (he convinced me to cancel breast reduction surgery because of the risks years ago, but now that we have three children, you'd think the risk would be even greater.) *for those who know me, I hope this doesn't reflect as poorly as it reads about my husband. This issue is more complex, as the state of my current body also has a great deal of impact on my mental well being.*
ETA: the irony is I get more compliments from men and women regarding my body than ever before.
There's no excuse to let yourself go during pregnancy. Women who gain 50 pounds during pregnancy are obviously stuffing themselves and will have a ton of excess weight to lose after giving birth. That's all on them. They are responsible for not ballooning into a Beluga while pregnant.
Women who care about their bodies, their looks and their health will have essentially the same body after pregnancy than they do before (after 6 weeks of dieting to lose baby weight). There are plenty of examples of this and it's not restricted just to celebrities like Angelina Jolie or people like that.
Not really.
I gained 42lbs with my first baby, partly due to pre-eclampsia/HELLP syndrome and partly due to the fact that he was almost 10lbs. It wasn't that I "let myself go" and I wasn't stuffing myself. The weight was due mostly to water retention/swelling and the only cure for HELLP is delivery.
I lost the weight from all my pregnancies very easily, within 4-6 weeks of giving birth, however my stomach will never look like it did pre-pregnancy without the help of a tummy tuck.
There's a difference between letting yourself go and what pregnancy can, not necessarily do, to your body. I gained 60 lbs with all 3 pregnancies and lost all the weight. I have no stretch marks. But with my last pregnancy, my body didn't bounce back the way it did like the other two. The problem might even be that I've lost too much weight and my skin just doesn't have the elasticity it had two plus years ago. Needless to say, I look great dressed, but naked is a whole different story.
I always tease my husband that he better not die on me because then I'm really screwed! Not only will I have "baggage" (3kids), but my body is banged up. once my youngest is a little older, I will be paying a visit to the plastic surgeon's office.
And although my husband doesn't outright say anything negative about my body, the fact that he's not trying to talk me out of visiting a surgeon speaks volumes. (he convinced me to cancel breast reduction surgery because of the risks years ago, but now that we have three children, you'd think the risk would be even greater.) *for those who know me, I hope this doesn't reflect as poorly as it reads about my husband. This issue is more complex, as the state of my current body also has a great deal of impact on my mental well being.*
ETA: the irony is I get more compliments from men and women regarding my body than ever before.
You don't owe anyone here an explanation. You've got what most of us dream of having. A wonderful spouse and family.
In light of all the critical media attention Jessica Simpson has been getting post pregnancy for not getting right back into shape fast enough, what do you guys think of post pregnancy bods. And yes I understand that some women look like their normal selves after baby. I'm talking about the majority of women who have stretch marks, bulging belly, etc. Can you still find your lady attractive even with all that?
Folks, please keep your posts relative to the OP. Thanks.
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There's no excuse to let yourself go during pregnancy. Women who gain 50 pounds during pregnancy are obviously stuffing themselves and will have a ton of excess weight to lose after giving birth. That's all on them. They are responsible for not ballooning into a Beluga while pregnant.
Women who care about their bodies, their looks and their health will have essentially the same body after pregnancy than they do before (after 6 weeks of dieting to lose baby weight). There are plenty of examples of this and it's not restricted just to celebrities like Angelina Jolie or people like that.
That's so not true. I have always been on the very edge of the low-end for healthy weights for my height. I gained 55lbs with my first pregnancy. I did not go crazy eating. I have NEVER in my life wanted to eat lots of food. That's why I am thin. But food cravings and aversions did make me hate all the things that were healthy food me. Chicken literally made me throw up and my palette is very immature (hate almost all vegetables). So I agree that I didn't eat as healthy as normal. However, most of the weight I gained was severe edema and swelling all over my body due to high blood pressure the last few months.
I lost all the weight by 4 months post-partum and lost an additional 10 lbs (making me underweight) by 9 months which I personally attribute to nursing because I gained the 10lbs back after I weaned (went back to my normal pre-pregnancy weight).
My second pregnancy, I had aversions to all red meat and liked chicken. I had no swelling at all and no high blood pressure. I gained 32 lbs. I lost the weight on a similar time-table to my first.
My stomach is still not tight. I don't have too many stretch marks but it's not as firm. I"m considering plastic surgery but my husband doesn't see the need. He says he still finds me sexy and goes onto say corny things about me bearing his children and the sacrifices I made.
If my husband ever dreamed of leaving me, I'd make sure he helped pay for the plastic surgery to repair what he helped break! haha kidding
Even though it may seem obvious to some that a female's body may not return to their original shape after having a baby (or babies), I think couples need to discuss the reality of the situation before having children. If you're planning to have children with your SO why not ask what they think of stretch marks, weight gain, etc. and if they're willing to be supportive in your journey to repair your body. Make a plan of how they can help (like some mentioned... watching the kiddies while the female exercises, etc.)
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It does encourage objectifying women which is sad, but I think most normal guys do not look at the physical changes their spouse/SO go through as a deteriment to their beauty.
once my youngest is a little older, I will be paying a visit to the plastic surgeon's office. 
kidding 
