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I've been married for more than two decades, and we've had joint accounts from day one, both as a dual-income couple and single-income family. I can't remember us ever fighting about money. We pay our bills and review our spending plan with our children monthly (we think it's an important part of our children's education to participate in family finances), have a quarterly meeting to review our investment performance, and meet with our financial advisor annually to discuss our long-term goals and make adjustments to our portfolio. I would never have married my husband if he were the type to run off on me, and, seriously, I don't know when he'd find the time to have someone on the side. (That part of the thread made me laugh hysterically!) And I'm certainly not going anywhere, so I think it's all good.
I'm not sure if this was mentioned earlier but the absolutely best thing that happened to our finances was "forcing" my husband to drop his checking account (which was always overdrawn, spent on "useless" items, etc) and using a Dual signature joint checking account. It is something usually used by small businesses but has been God-sent to our marriage and finances. I still have a personal, non-joint checking account for myself for emergencies. I keep very little money in it and sometimes go 6 to 9 months without writing out a check (for example for his birthday present).
My husband has always had problems with money during our thirtyfive year marriage. He has more than once charged $50,000 plus on credit cards where I had to get a second AND THIRD JOB to pay off. He wouldn't work extra (even overtime on his job) because he never "saw" that it was a problem.
Even though he is quite bright (member of MENSA with several advanced degrees) he never had "money sense". Never! Ever!
So, if your husband is like mine a dual signature joint checking account is the way to go. Both of you know about every single check that is written out.
Don't end up like me. I'm over 60 years old, physically disabled but still having to work full time, plus have two part time jobs to pay off debts. It is not a joke that I will be working until I die to pay off our debts. BTW Husband is now disabled, too and unable to work at all so the burden is totally on my shoulders.
I'm not sure if this was mentioned earlier but the absolutely best thing that happened to our finances was "forcing" my husband to drop his checking account (which was always overdrawn, spent on "useless" items, etc) and using a Dual signature joint checking account. It is something usually used by small businesses but has been God-sent to our marriage and finances. I still have a personal, non-joint checking account for myself for emergencies. I keep very little money in it and sometimes go 6 to 9 months without writing out a check (for example for his birthday present).
My husband has always had problems with money during our thirtyfive year marriage. He has more than once charged $50,000 plus on credit cards where I had to get a second AND THIRD JOB to pay off. He wouldn't work extra (even overtime on his job) because he never "saw" that it was a problem.
Even though he is quite bright (member of MENSA with several advanced degrees) he never had "money sense". Never! Ever!
So, if your husband is like mine a dual signature joint checking account is the way to go. Both of you know about every single check that is written out.
Don't end up like me. I'm over 60 years old, physically disabled but still having to work full time, plus have two part time jobs to pay off debts. It is not a joke that I will be working until I die to pay off our debts. BTW Husband is now disabled, too and unable to work at all so the burden is totally on my shoulders.
I totally understand your situation. However, my wife and I are very different. We both have very good money sense. When we got married, neither of us had any debt at all. That was one thing that made it very easy for me to trust her with our money, and for her to trust me.
I'm not sure if this was mentioned earlier but the absolutely best thing that happened to our finances was "forcing" my husband to drop his checking account (which was always overdrawn, spent on "useless" items, etc) and using a Dual signature joint checking account. It is something usually used by small businesses but has been God-sent to our marriage and finances. I still have a personal, non-joint checking account for myself for emergencies. I keep very little money in it and sometimes go 6 to 9 months without writing out a check (for example for his birthday present).
My husband has always had problems with money during our thirtyfive year marriage. He has more than once charged $50,000 plus on credit cards where I had to get a second AND THIRD JOB to pay off. He wouldn't work extra (even overtime on his job) because he never "saw" that it was a problem.
Even though he is quite bright (member of MENSA with several advanced degrees) he never had "money sense". Never! Ever!
So, if your husband is like mine a dual signature joint checking account is the way to go. Both of you know about every single check that is written out.
Don't end up like me. I'm over 60 years old, physically disabled but still having to work full time, plus have two part time jobs to pay off debts. It is not a joke that I will be working until I die to pay off our debts. BTW Husband is now disabled, too and unable to work at all so the burden is totally on my shoulders.
Is filing for bankruptcy an option? I have a friend who's husband cashed out a 401k and never mentioned it to the IRS. She is in the same situation as you are working herself to death and never being able to catch up. You can at least erase the debt, they however can not. The IRS owns them now and forever.
I stay at home right now by choice (decided on together). Our accounts are all joint and they are set up so that neither one of us can transfer all the money or close the account without the other person present. We don't keep a lot of cash in the savings account so he wouldn't get much out of that.
I'm not all that worried if he ups and leaves. I know what I'm doing...I didn't go into this blind and I've got a few cards to play if he ever left and was an ass about it.
I don't anticipate that ever happening though. He's just not a flighty person.
well that's good it sound like you have your situation in order beforehand instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop like i seen most women do.
I would never give up my power over my own money. I feel for these guys who either can't or don't know how to take care of their own finances. Having to ask permission to spend your own money is bull****.
Having said all that, I'm not now nor will I ever be getting married, so I don't really care all that much. Do whatever you all want.
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Joint DUAL signature checking account
