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I've posted before about my ex, who is a very successful flirt. He did NOT proposition the women he approached - he was with me, and he wasn't looking to cheat, for one thing. However, he is just naturally gregarious, and WOMEN LOVE THAT. (Heck, straight men totally got man crushes on him too.) He never crossed any lines while we were together, but he loved to talk to people. He would talk to whoever was sitting on the next bar stool, ask them questions about themselves and make jokes and make an effort to put THEM at ease. Women were literally stuffing phone numbers in his pockets. So you don't have to be a pushy jerk, but you're never going to get anywhere unless you make an effort to connect with someone.
You catch a girl's eye at the bar, smile and make a neutral but friendly comment, maybe something witty, but nothing sexual or too forward. FRIENDLY is the operative word. Then have a conversation. Make an effort to get to know her. Smile. Make eye contact. That kind of thing. You don't have to be all "Hey baby."
Make it about HER and not the insecurities that trip you up.
This logic makes no sense. Ive seen it happen where a guy went up to a girl and was very direct about his intentions.... and was pretty much slapped.......
Don't all the dudes coming up to you hot chicks and flirting with you on a daily basis get annoying????? Infact, don't some of you single girls put wedding rings on just to prevent this? Womens logic.....
Nice guys really do finish last don't they?
Ok, so what if he was slapped? It is a number's game.
It does get annoying but if you have be different and never talk about her looks. She is hot and everything knows that including her so she does not need to hear repetitive comments. You will see that in OKCupid also in a girl's profile.
Nice guys finish last is a topic discussed to death in last 20-30 years. Everyone has different meaning to it.
and if nice guys do finish last then doesn't he end up with a girl at the end?
It is just like business. Risk vs reward. If you don't ask, you are already rejecting yourself and that is the biggest rejection.
Also, you will notice that the girl's may label him arrogant if he seems over confident and cocky which I could care less. As far I know guys who are labelled arrogant get girls.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DrVanNostren
You don't have to be one or the other, there is a happy medium.
One has a much better chance, and will have more options, if he's assertive.
Why should someone who is 'unwilling and unwanting to compete' get the girl? Why should he get the girl over the guy who actually risks rejection?
Also, look at it from a girl's perspective. If you come up all shy and meek, she'll think you don't like her or you're a wuss. That doesn't mean you have to be hyper-aggressive. Rather, just be confident and normal.
You're talking yourself into oblivion. You might as well roll over and die if you're going to believe this. Women look for nice guys. Women will make the first move if they see a nice guy they have a chance to get to know a little, if he's too shy. Smart women do, anyway.
The older ones are more aggressive in making moves.
I am much more confident and open in a social setting when I am with my girl. I think most guys are that way. It is like you have a backup even if you mess up lol
At a bar, the women are in b***h mode. We know this. She could tell the guy to F off. When I use to go to clubs/bars. Lot of the guy's were tall and good looking so how can the average Joe compete?
Plus lot of the girl's date within their own race. What about the minorities?
Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector
I've posted before about my ex, wh
o is a very successful flirt. He did NOT proposition the women he approached - he was with me, and he wasn't looking to cheat, for one thing. However, he is just naturally gregarious, and WOMEN LOVE THAT. (Heck, straight men totally got man crushes on him too.) He never crossed any lines while we were together, but he loved to talk to people. He would talk to whoever was sitting on the next bar stool, ask them questions about themselves and make jokes and make an effort to put THEM at ease. Women were literally stuffing phone numbers in his pockets. So you don't have to be a pushy jerk, but you're never going to get anywhere unless you make an effort to connect with someone.
You catch a girl's eye at the bar, smile and make a neutral but friendly comment, maybe something witty, but nothing sexual or too forward. FRIENDLY is the operative word. Then have a conversation. Make an effort to get to know her. Smile. Make eye contact. That kind of thing. You don't have to be all "Hey baby."
Make it about HER and not the insecurities that trip you up.
To be honest, I would rather the shy guy than the guy who's gonna just randomly come up to me and try chatting me up. I don't like pushy guys. Or guys who assume that just because they came and talked to me that assume they are, "entitled," to my number or something.
I like nice guys who I see look nice, respectable, and are looking my way. I have no problem walking by them and saying, "hi," and strike up a convo with them.
I don't believe in trying to compete, and I won't do it. I don't expect any man that I talk to, to be that way either. But if he is, more power to him.
To be honest, I would rather the shy guy than the guy who's gonna just randomly come up to me and try chatting me up. I don't like pushy guys. Or guys who assume that just because they came and talked to me that assume they are, "entitled," to my number or something.
I like nice guys who I see look nice, respectable, and are looking my way. I have no problem walking by them and saying, "hi," and strike up a convo with them.
I don't believe in trying to compete, and I won't do it. I don't expect any man that I talk to, to be that way either. But if he is, more power to him.
Not true. Never met a girl who liked shy guy's. They are a turn off to them.
If you do like shy guy's then that tells me that you are going up to them to start a chat. I live in a very conservative city so women are not likely to come up to guys.
So I guess if you are a "shy guy" who is unwilling to be a meat head a$$**** or try and compete with the like, you are also going to be a forever-alone....
Women like competition or competitive men. Does he stick his neck out? Does he take chances and risks? Mr. Rogers looses the coin toss. Some women like that type of guy though. Most likely so he won't object to anything. The competitive man keeps her on her toes. If she isn't good, he cuts off her allowance. lol lol lol
I always enjoy someone telling us how an entire gender behaves.
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