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Well you've officially met the first girl who does.
I can't stand guys who think that just because they came and talked to you, that that somehow means they are entitled to your number. Those types have a tendency to make me feel uncomfortable when they're like, "so why don't I get your number and I'll call you so we can meet up this week..." way to put a girl on the spot man and make her feel like she HAS to give it to you. Number 1) you didn't even ask properly, you kinda boxed her in for it. HUGE TURN OFF. Number 2) why not make a girl feel more comfortable and instead of asking for her number, offer her yours... That way the pressure isn't so bad, and it doesn't feel like there's too many expectations.
I like shy guys. More often than not, they know how to treat a woman a lot better and w/ more respect than the guy who's more aggressive/pro-active.
That's just my experience though.
There's a big difference between a guy who will approach at the line at 7-11 and someone who is truly shy and timid.
I mean, I'm talking about guys who won't initiate conversation unless talked to first.
"Do The Timid And Shy Guys Stand A Chance In This Vast Wasteland?"
Overall, I'd say no. I know I'm not even going to notice a timid & shy type, usually.
But recently, I met a very timid & shy guy, lol He is actually a few years older & would have never gotten my attention in any other scenario. But I got to talking to him & he is a really good hearted kind person, who is just an extreme introvert. So although there won't be a love connection between us, I now have a little more understanding of that type.
Haha. Well. I'm 'sorta' shy, but not really, but I'm not timid. When I was younger, a long time ago I was...
If I were now, guaranteed virgin...
I'm not super shy as much as I just stopped hitting on women all together. For myself, I can only take so many rejections before I just toss in my cards.
So it's super easy for me to gain friends, so I have a ton of friends and I have some hobbies that I enjoy playing and doing.
I've posted before about my ex, who is a very successful flirt. He did NOT proposition the women he approached - he was with me, and he wasn't looking to cheat, for one thing. However, he is just naturally gregarious, and WOMEN LOVE THAT.
You catch a girl's eye at the bar, smile and make a neutral but friendly comment, maybe something witty, but nothing sexual or too forward. FRIENDLY is the operative word. Then have a conversation. Make an effort to get to know her. Smile. Make eye contact. That kind of thing. You don't have to be all "Hey baby."
Make it about HER and not the insecurities that trip you up.
Listen to this woman! Women love naturally chatty guys. This is not an arrogant approach, it's a laid-back, friendly, natural occurrence.
And for you shy guys, a smile and eye contact may be enough to elicit a "hi" or a chat from her.
Well you've officially met the first girl who does.
I can't stand guys who think that just because they came and talked to you, that that somehow means they are entitled to your number. Those types have a tendency to make me feel uncomfortable when they're like, "so why don't I get your number and I'll call you so we can meet up this week..." way to put a girl on the spot man and make her feel like she HAS to give it to you. Number 1) you didn't even ask properly, you kinda boxed her in for it. HUGE TURN OFF. Number 2) why not make a girl feel more comfortable and instead of asking for her number, offer her yours... That way the pressure isn't so bad, and it doesn't feel like there's too many expectations.
I like shy guys. More often than not, they know how to treat a woman a lot better and w/ more respect than the guy who's more aggressive/pro-active.
That's just my experience though.
YES! Offer the woman your number or email, let her make the choice.
Women with much experience and a functioning brain figure this out eventually (2nd bolded part).
I always say, the best approach is the non-approach. Just light, casual banter in the check-out line, or wherever, just exchanging pleasantries. This goes for women as well as men. If they perk up and show interest in the conversation, you continue. Or you ask if they'd like to sit down for tea/coffee for a few minutes. Or you ask if they shop there regularly, and say, "see you around", and eventually you'll run into them again, especially if they mention they usually are there mornings, evenings, whatever. And if it's the woman who strikes up a conversation with you, if you're interested, respond, for heaven's sake, don't just mope and tell yourself, "She's not going to be interested in ME!"
Froggie: the "non-approach" goes for you, too. If all you're doing is exchanging pleasantries and passing the time (while also checking for interest on the other person's part), if they don't respond much, it's not a big deal. It's not a major rejection. Your entire self-esteem is not hanging on every little encounter of this kind. Rather, it's just a way of life, you're friendly and neighborly toward people. If they take a shine to you, so much the better. Just because someone in the grocery line doesn't respond with interest is no reason to get bitter and throw in your cards. It's such a minor happenstance that it hardly registers. A new week, a new grocery line, a new bakery or coffee shop encounter.
YES! Offer the woman your number or email, let her make the choice.
Women with much experience and a functioning brain figure this out eventually (2nd bolded part).
I always say, the best approach is the non-approach. Just light, casual banter in the check-out line, or wherever, just exchanging pleasantries. This goes for women as well as men. If they perk up and show interest in the conversation, you continue. Or you ask if they'd like to sit down for tea/coffee for a few minutes. Or you ask if they shop there regularly, and say, "see you around", and eventually you'll run into them again, especially if they mention they usually are there mornings, evenings, whatever. And if it's the woman who strikes up a conversation with you, if you're interested, respond, for heaven's sake, don't just mope and tell yourself, "She's not going to be interested in ME!"
Froggie: the "non-approach" goes for you, too. If all you're doing is exchanging pleasantries and passing the time (while also checking for interest on the other person's part), if they don't respond much, it's not a big deal. It's not a major rejection. Your entire self-esteem is not hanging on every little encounter of this kind. Rather, it's just a way of life, you're friendly and neighborly toward people. If they take a shine to you, so much the better. Just because someone in the grocery line doesn't respond with interest is no reason to get bitter and throw in your cards. It's such a minor happenstance that it hardly registers. A new week, a new grocery line, a new bakery or coffee shop encounter.
I'm not much of a talker, really. If someone starts talking to me I'll repond back, but it's rare that I start a conversation. I can hold conversations with the best of them, but if I don't have anything to say, I just keep to myself and move on.
Hell yes it's a death sentence lol. May as well get a bunch of hobbies and stop lookin' at women!
I'm in the process of doing that actually.
I personally know (knew) 2 very nice guys that have given up on women entirely. Well, I should say one since one died of brain cancer several years ago. I'm pretty sure he went without a date the last 15 years of his life. I'm almost positive the other friend has not had a date in about 30 years.
I'm on a bad streak right now myself but I'm nowhere near that.
There's a big difference between a guy who will approach at the line at 7-11 and someone who is truly shy and timid.
I mean, I'm talking about guys who won't initiate conversation unless talked to first.
And that's absolutely fine with me. I'd rather see you're shy and approach you anyway. That means you're not chasing all these skirts around.
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