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I don't know whipper snapper. I don't think about these things at all unless someone else brings it up. most of the people that pay attention to these little concepts and things about 'improving the self,' their lives aren't any better then the rest of us. From what I can tell they haven't elevated to a higher existence or anything by caring about these matters. so why waste time on it.
If you are able to not think about these types of things, I suppose thats good, for you. Myself on the other hand, I think about them a lot. Lately I have been going through spells of depression, to the point where I just wanna lounge around all day and do nothing but have a pitty party for myself. I'm coming to the realization that that isn't doing anything to improve the things I'm depressed about.
And, I don't believe that you don't think about them, for the simple fact that you are here talking about the troubles you've had in relationships. You must think about them and they must weigh heavily on you. If you don't think about them, maybe you should, and then think of ways and strategies you can improve your situation.
As far as elevating to a higher existence? Maybe it doesn't seem to you like they have, but it seems to me that a lot of it is in how YOU percieve your own existence. Are YOU happy with the way things are in your life? Thats all that really counts.
I disagree. It's all well and good to "love yourself for who you are" but to use the "lipstick on a pig" analogy, a pig that likes being a pig is still a pig.
Confidence is presenting yourself in a charismatic manner that conveys strength. This means such things as strong body posture, body language, eye contact, firmness and even toned naturally flowing conversation. Taking charge and leadership, initiating instead of receiving.
Confidence is also the absence of nervousness and unreasonable fear. Don't fidget, look away or slouch or other such signs of nervousness or fear. Don't be afraid to approach people, have strong body posture, have a naturally flowing conversation while making eye contact and don't stumble or show any hint of nervousness or indecision. Body motions should be in straight lines, not awkward curvatures. Do exactly what you want to do without being held back by unreasonable fears (reasonable fears, like breaking the law, you should still let inhibit you).
Ideally you should appear relaxed while doing all this, but at first it is essential to just make sure you convey strength and courage. When you get experience, you will appear relaxed as well since it will come naturally. Fake it till you make it.
In short, confidence is the conveyance of strength and the absence of unreasonable fear.
which you only truly learn through experience. faking it doesn't make you a stronger person it makes you weaker one, you learn nothing but how to manipulate which is not the same as "being" confident.
this is where i see many young people getting the message of what it is to have confidence in yourself. insecurities are fine as long as you take them as a tool to learn from and grow yourself outwardly as an individual
I disagree. It's all well and good to "love yourself for who you are" but to use the "lipstick on a pig" analogy, a pig that likes being a pig is still a pig.
Confidence is presenting yourself in a charismatic manner that conveys strength. This means such things as strong body posture, body language, eye contact, firmness and even toned naturally flowing conversation. Taking charge and leadership, initiating instead of receiving.
Confidence is also the absence of nervousness and unreasonable fear. Don't fidget, look away or slouch or other such signs of nervousness or fear. Don't be afraid to approach people, have strong body posture, have a naturally flowing conversation while making eye contact and don't stumble or show any hint of nervousness or indecision. Body motions should be in straight lines, not awkward curvatures. Do exactly what you want to do without being held back by unreasonable fears (reasonable fears, like breaking the law, you should still let inhibit you).
Ideally you should appear relaxed while doing all this, but at first it is essential to just make sure you convey strength and courage. When you get experience, you will appear relaxed as well since it will come naturally. Fake it till you make it.
In short, confidence is the conveyance of strength and the absence of unreasonable fear.
I know you're not interested in this "crap", and that's why you will remain unhappy while others will have a better life. Someone who is looking to make their life awesome isn't worried about whether or not you think it's bs, they'll be out enjoying it while you remain complaining.
LMAO @ "you will remain unhappy while others will have a better life" again good for them. I guess I was supposed to be insulted by that . I probably would be if I thought 'life' was some amazing experience, but I don't. Every time you feel the need to tell someone what they are going to be 'missing' as if that changes anything...And FYI: I wasn't responding to YOU i was responding to the thread topic and MY thoughts on it. Not everyone is going to agree and if you think they should that's your problem, not mine.... And if these people are out busy"enjoying life" and don't give a crap what I think then me expressing my thoughts on the matter shouldn't change their day any. So I guess I'll just keep on doing that, as always if you don't want to read it, there's a function to put an end to it -- otherwise fu*k off.
LMAO @ "you will remain unhappy while others will have a better life" again good for them. I guess I was supposed to be insulted by that . I probably would be if I thought 'life' was some amazing experience, but I don't. Every time you feel the need to tell someone what they are going to be 'missing' as if that changes anything...And FYI: I wasn't responding to YOU i was responding to the thread topic and MY thoughts on it. Not everyone is going to agree and if you think they should that's your problem, not mine.... And if these people are out busy"enjoying life" and don't give a crap what I think then me expressing my thoughts on the matter shouldn't change their day any. So I guess I'll just keep on doing that, as always if you don't want to read it. there's a function to put an end to it -- otherwise fu*k off.
I hope you don't mind MY constructive criticism DE's, but maybe thats the problem right there. Life should be an amazing experience, not some mundane, monotonous existence. You are as much as saying you don't value it.... life I mean. I'm the same way, but I need to do something to change it.
So Something we here a lot of is that you have to have "confidence" to have any success with woman. Now until recently, I thought that just meant that you had to be not so afraid to go up and approach women and be able to talk with them without being really shy and timid, but now I "think" I am beginning to understand the whole isuue of confidence, and how you can achieve it a little better. Burgler09 has really helped to put this in perspective for me, so thanks, along with other posters whos opinion I value.
So guys, what is self confidence, and how exactly does one achieve it? Here is what I am beginning to understand and grasp:
Confidence isn't just being at ease with the opposite sex, it's so much more. Sure, that's a part of it, but confidence is more of a mentality. It's in how you value your own self and your opinions, your skills and your talents. It's in your attitude towards yourself and towards others. It's how you carry yourself, how you talk, how you walk, and how you view your past experinces and whether you are enjoying your current ones. It's whether you are content with your lifestyle and how you are living it. It's measured in your success in relationships, both intimate and non, and how the participants in those relationships view you as a person.
Basically, if you are not happy with your current situation in life, this is going to affect your confidence level. If you have no confidence, I take that to mean that you have to do whatever it takes to improve it in order to gain confidence. Confidence isn't something that can be forced or faked, and it isn't something that is temporarily there long enough for you to approach a potential date. It's something that comes naturaly, and is just there. You either have it, or you don't. You can't force it, and you can't fake it.
So am I on the right track to discovering the true meaning of confidence?
Blood, sweat and tears. That's the only kind that can't be totally taken away, no matter how you fall or get down. You earned it. The interesting thing is many people don't appreciate that kind. They should, it's the most powerful kind there is. Been there, done that confidence. There is no substitute. "I can go up in front of a large room of people and give a speach. Yeah, so what. You see that icy 20 story roof up there? You got 10 minutes to get your ass up there. After you get up there, you will start your work. What, you can't climb that high? Afraid of hights are ya? There's no shaking while you are up there, you'll fall off. See you in 9 minutes. You just wasted one...........
If you are able to not think about these types of things, I suppose thats good, for you. Myself on the other hand, I think about them a lot. Lately I have been going through spells of depression, to the point where I just wanna lounge around all day and do nothing but have a pitty party for myself. I'm coming to the realization that that isn't doing anything to improve the things I'm depressed about.
And, I don't believe that you don't think about them, for the simple fact that you are here talking about the troubles you've had in relationships. You must think about them and they must weigh heavily on you. If you don't think about them, maybe you should, and then think of ways and strategies you can improve your situation.
As far as elevating to a higher existence? Maybe it doesn't seem to you like they have, but it seems to me that a lot of it is in how YOU percieve your own existence. Are YOU happy with the way things are in your life? Thats all that really counts.
If these things affect you and you feel like concentrating on "self esteem" "self confidence" or whatever is going to change your depression, circumstances then knock yourself out. That's your choice. Again, I don't think about the above concepts because I don't see the point. I asked a question on here once about why people are so obsessed with self this and self that? Again, I don't see their lives looking so amazing because they concentrate on these things. I don't talk about the problems I've had in relationships b/c I don't have any. I talk about what I don't like about people in general, LOL.
You want to try 'improving' these things b/c you think they will correct your views of happiness, then so be it. Another thing I don't buy into is 'happy this, happy that.' I don't beleive everyone is going to be happy or has a right to be, I don't know where people get that from. Personally I just exist, not happily or unhappily.....I'm not sure what you are hoping to gain? more people to like you? more dates?
LMAO @ "you will remain unhappy while others will have a better life" again good for them. I guess I was supposed to be insulted by that . I probably would be if I thought 'life' was some amazing experience, but I don't. Every time you feel the need to tell someone what they are going to be 'missing' as if that changes anything...And FYI: I wasn't responding to YOU i was responding to the thread topic and MY thoughts on it. Not everyone is going to agree and if you think they should that's your problem, not mine.... And if these people are out busy"enjoying life" and don't give a crap what I think then me expressing my thoughts on the matter shouldn't change their day any. So I guess I'll just keep on doing that, as always if you don't want to read it, there's a function to put an end to it -- otherwise fu*k off.
Huh? I don't care what you say to me haha, that's honestly the least of my worries. You can say whatever you want to me, I'm not going to be hurt. However, if there's someone on here talking about what he can do to improve his life and you come on here with that BS, I will call you out. I'm sorry.
I think it's rather sad that any thread that someone has something positive to say about something, you are right there with a negative comment to bring it down.
Directed towards the poster..
Confidence is something internal, it cannot be paid for or taught. It is a personal journey.
Confidence stems from you..what you are good at, are you a good person, understanding? Are you a good friend? You have string points and you focus on these and build on these.
Confidence means that you are aware of who you are and what you have to offer and you do not SHUN those whom cannot relate, appreciate or praise you for who you are..
You have the mentality and self love to understand that WHILE this person or that person may not be attracted to you, DOES NOT MEAN there is anything WRONG WITH YOU! It simply means that YOU are not what they are looking for or want. Is this going to damper your mood? Well confidence states "I am still who I was a second ago and I am okay with this and I do not want anyone whom does not want me"
NEXT. A confident person realizes that may haveto go through several people until they find that one person that is effortless to be around because they think and are most like you.
A confident person states "Why should I be worried about if this person likes me" I should be concerned with if I like them"
Self esteem and confidence comes from valuing yourself, trying hard to be the best of you and doing it all for you..
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. I probably would be if I thought 'life' was some amazing experience, but I don't. Every time you feel the need to tell someone what they are going to be 'missing' as if that changes anything...And FYI: I wasn't responding to YOU i was responding to the thread topic and MY thoughts on it. Not everyone is going to agree and if you think they should that's your problem, not mine.... And if these people are out busy"enjoying life" and don't give a crap what I think then me expressing my thoughts on the matter shouldn't change their day any. So I guess I'll just keep on doing that, as always if you don't want to read it, there's a function to put an end to it -- otherwise fu*k off.
