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I used to pose as a female in some of the chat rooms just to see what would happen. It used to get annoying how i was deluged by guys wanting to talk to me. Pretty stupid, I know, but it gave me some idea what girls have to put up with. It was an interesting experiment, because I strung them a long for fun, and started being rather mean to them. It made me understand how girls become so hardened and mean in the first place, they're just sick and tired of that. What's more they are boring, predictable and plain annoying - it really depressed me about my own gender. This automatically puts up a barrier for guys who want something deeper...not to say chat rooms contain the cream of the crop, but still, it's an interesting insight. There were a few nice guys I felt a little bad about 'letting down' but after awhile I just didn't care.
Lmao! You pretend to be a woman? Haha....hmmm I think I may try to be a man. Bet I could get the ladies. Lol
I'm a guy who works in the tech industry, so I'm around men during the work day and they're thankfully not hitting on me. And even after work or on weekends, women don't 'hit on' me.
I guess I'm suffering from that disease called 'ugliosis'
I don't get this. Are men really expected to be hit on. I was taught as a female that you look deseparate doing this, and is this a cultural white thing afraid to talk and directly approach a woman. Other races I feel do not expect the woman to hit on the man or whatever.
I say to OP if you find a woman attractive. Go up to her !! I know this might sound like a foreign concept to some people. Approach her like a lady and tell her you find her attractive or strike up something clever or have a normal conversation while waitting around something and . This will work if you are fairly attractive and confident, and if you still get rejected, do not take it personally.
She might not be looking to date or whatever. I feel it should not be the opposite way.
Hell I do not want to look like fool, that is why I would never approach a man.
However, I might strike up random conversation if someone is standing next me.
You can try that a start to build up you confidence. I actually understand how you feel.
Lmao! You pretend to be a woman? Haha....hmmm I think I may try to be a man. Bet I could get the ladies. Lol
I had an androgynous username on one forum, one that was taken to be male. I got approached or flirted with via private message by several women. It seems that I was unusually nice for a guy, and the ladies loved that.
Sounds like Trimac has a heart, though. Who knew? Btw, this is a really good poll, Tri. It disproves those annoying and ridiculous myths that women get constantly barraged by men, "all they have to do is show up". You've performed a valuable public service here.
I don't get this. Are men really expected to be hit on. I was taught as a female that you look deseparate doing this, and is this a cultural white thing afraid to talk and directly approach a woman. Other races I feel do not expect the woman to hit on the man or whatever.
I say to OP if you find a woman attractive. Go up to her !!
DUH!
Quote:
Originally Posted by stephei2000
I know this might sound like a foreign concept to some people. Approach her like a lady and tell her you find her attractive or strike up something clever or have a normal conversation while waitting around something and . This will work if you are fairly attractive and confident, and if you still get rejected, do not take it personally.
However, I might strike up random conversation if someone is standing next me.
You can try that a start to build up you confidence. I actually understand how you feel.
YES!! It is a cultural White thing! I've polled women in 3 states over about 10 years, and they've all said it's the men of color that approach them, the White guys never approach them! And nearly all of these women were attractive blondes. One even said this on national TV on a dating show! I suspect it stems from the Anglo-German tendency to be reserved, or maybe it's trickle-down Puritanism, I don't know, but it's weird. And why should it sound like a foreign concept? What could be more natural than talking to someone you find attractive? And yet, it DOES seem to be a foreign concept!
I do strike up random conversations with people standing next to me, or in front of me in the check-out line, or wherever. If the White guys can't bring themselves to speak to women, then women have to do the speaking. But I bet that women of some other races do give signals, which the men know how to read (another foreign concept in some circles). I bet they give men they're interested in a certain glance or gesture.
Bless you, stephei, for being so frank, and for speaking the unspeakable. It's a cultural White thing!
FYI- I answered a few times a year as none of these are a common thing for me but here are the categories I considered.
I have been harassed or whistled at, not fun, but probably the most common. One guy started out yelling from across a busy intersection and tried to follow me home (I ain't no holler back girl)
I have also had men talk to me for a while at stores etc, and try to keep a conversation going but I never really know if this is just friendly chatting as I smile alot and talk to all kinds of people (women, older people, etc) on busses in stores or in other waiting type scenarios.
The other day I was walking to the train and some guy said "hello beautiful" but did not try to stop and talk or be distasteful he just kept walking, as did I. That felt good actually. There are so many people walking around and I don't dress trashy or flashy so it was just a kind complement (or at least that's how I decided to take it)
I have NEVER had a stranger come up and ask for my number or do anything that would suggest a continued relationship. So maybe I should have answered never?
I have been harassed or whistled at, not fun, but probably the most common. One guy started out yelling from across a busy intersection and tried to follow me home (I ain't no holler back girl)
One common m.o. of the American White male is to yell obscene compliments or shrieks and whistles at women from speeding cars. But to actually go up to one and say something decent and maybe even intelligent or interesting? It's beyond their capability. Yelling and hooting from the safety of a passing car is the closest they can come to communicating with the opposite sex. Face to face communication appears to be too terrifying.
edit: This m.o. is practiced mainly by the teen-to-20-something set, though I've seen a toned-down version of it coming from older guys, too.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 07-19-2012 at 01:24 PM..
lol do women hit on men? i don't hit on men because fear of rejection ..but its not really lucky because sometimes the men get angry or won't back off.. i have been chased,grabbed, called b*tch/wh*re/stuck up/**** for not wanting their numbers or just plain groped while being asked for a number... its quite scary actually.. but like i said this isn't because of house i look but because of how those guys are...if they didn't treat me like an object i would gladly say hello and have a convo but its hardly ever like that.
I would still be happy if women ambushed me like that.lol
If getting hit on in public means someone approaches you in person first, compliments you and asks you for your number, that would be a few times in my life.
DUH!
YES!! It is a cultural White thing! I've polled women in 3 states over about 10 years, and they've all said it's the men of color that approach them, the White guys never approach them! And nearly all of these women were attractive blondes. One even said this on national TV on a dating show! I suspect it stems from the Anglo-German tendency to be reserved, or maybe it's trickle-down Puritanism, I don't know, but it's weird. And why should it sound like a foreign concept? What could be more natural than talking to someone you find attractive? And yet, it DOES seem to be a foreign concept!
I do strike up random conversations with people standing next to me, or in front of me in the check-out line, or wherever. If the White guys can't bring themselves to speak to women, then women have to do the speaking. But I bet that women of some other races do give signals, which the men know how to read (another foreign concept in some circles). I bet they give men they're interested in a certain glance or gesture.
Bless you, stephei, for being so frank, and for speaking the unspeakable. It's a cultural White thing!
Well, Ruth, the reason why this 'white guy' won't approach anymore is simply because I am told 'NO!' everytime. It's not about any silly 'cultural' thing at all... it's simply due to being rejected Every. Single. Time.
Now... as I've said MANY times - who's the broken record now - if I were to have more positive experiences, ANY positive experiences, then my stance would change. I really cannot comprehend why this is such a difficult concept to grasp. Really, I can't.
One common m.o. of the American White male is to yell obscene compliments or shrieks and whistles at women from speeding cars. But to actually go up to one and say something decent and maybe even intelligent or interesting? It's beyond their capability. Yelling and hooting from the safety of a passing car is the closest they can come to communicating with the opposite sex. Face to face communication appears to be too terrifying.
No, it is NOT 'beyond my capability'. Wow. Rather, it's because most women really do not want that, they do not want a decent man who is an 'interesting gentleman'.
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Btw, this is a really good poll, Tri. It disproves those annoying and ridiculous myths that women get constantly barraged by men, "all they have to do is show up". You've performed a valuable public service here.
(I ain't no holler back girl)
..but its not really lucky because sometimes the men get angry or won't back off.. i have been chased,grabbed, called b*tch/wh*re/stuck up/**** for not wanting their numbers or just plain groped while being asked for a number... its quite scary actually.. but like i said this isn't because of house i look but because of how those guys are...if they didn't treat me like an object i would gladly say hello and have a convo but its hardly ever like that.
- if I were to have more positive experiences, ANY positive experiences, then my stance would change. I really cannot comprehend why this is such a difficult concept to grasp. Really, I can't.
