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As jet jockey said earlier: neither one of us have experienced a woman making a public mockery of a man she wasn't interested in after he asked her (unless he gets rude, which they usually do). Can't say the same for the reverse.
Yep, this. I've never had a female friend of mine publicly mock a guy who made a move unless he was extremely rude or lewd about it. I've asked out a couple of men and they've made it a point to make me feel bad about it because why would THEY even consider going out with a woman like ME? I think it's an ego thing... they want to make sure everyone knows that they got asked out by a woman (which doesn't happen super frequently) and that they turned her down because he's soooo much better than she is.
Yep, this. I've never had a female friend of mine publicly mock a guy who made a move unless he was extremely rude or lewd about it. I've asked out a couple of men and they've made it a point to make me feel bad about it because why would THEY even consider going out with a woman like ME? I think it's an ego thing... they want to make sure everyone knows that they got asked out by a woman (which doesn't happen super frequently) and that they turned her down because he's soooo much better than she is.
You don't notice it from the female end because you don't date them. Both can be brutal, both can be polite about it.
Many times, would do it again, if I was single. I like asking the guy, that way I'm picking who I'm attracted to, instead of someone who I'm not attracted to, asking me out. Do I fear rejection, sure, but we usually know who is in our realm of possibilities.
You don't notice it from the female end because you don't date them. Both can be brutal, both can be polite about it.
yea that's true. but I've never known a woman to do this and I don't care what anyone says men are the ones that primarily do this. they are the ones that are into humiliating people.
Yep, this. I've never had a female friend of mine publicly mock a guy who made a move unless he was extremely rude or lewd about it. I've asked out a couple of men and they've made it a point to make me feel bad about it because why would THEY even consider going out with a woman like ME? I think it's an ego thing... they want to make sure everyone knows that they got asked out by a woman (which doesn't happen super frequently) and that they turned her down because he's soooo much better than she is.
and that is exactly what I'm talking about. ironic how they are all so called 'different' yet the same. they do that type of stuff at a much higher rate then women, period, it's an ego thing.
As a guy, in general I see it as a good thing, with a few caveats for the girls considering it:
1) It will get you guys who like you but wouldn't have otherwise asked you out earlier (say because you look unapproachable and/or are really bad at flirting), but, you're still going to get rejected if he's not interested. If you are good at flirting that can get you the same effects as asking guys out without the sting of outright rejection; if you're not then doing the asking will give you better prospects at the cost of, yes, getting rejected sometimes.
2) Men's standards are lower for one night stands than dating. If you are one of those who explicitly doesn't like to do one-night-stands, then you should be asking a guy out on a date, not hitting on drunk guys on the dancefloor or at a bar, etc. Make it clear what you are looking for.
3) Ask by asking; DO NOT grab/grope first and without permission (either verbal or implied). Light touch is a good method of flirting; being all over someone who doesn't want it is a good way of ensuring a harsher rejection.
edit: for all the talk above about guys being allegedly harsher than girls about rejection, in some of the social circles I travel in (read: nerds) women asking out men is reasonably common, and the idea that men are as a pattern worse about these things doesn't really hold water in my experiences. Both genders can be very gentlemanly/ladylike about it or very rude; just depends on the person and the context, and there isn't really an observable pattern. Granted, this might not extend to the general population, but, at least in what I've seen neither gender is observably more polite about it on the whole than the other.
Last edited by ALackOfCreativity; 07-27-2012 at 10:03 PM..
No girl has ever "asked me out".. So that leads me to believe that I'm either ugly or far beyond the average's girl league.. The latter rather than former..
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