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If you can see everything the world has to offer in your SO, don't you owe it to the world to bring an awesome kid into it?
Nope. And just how many "awesome kids" have you run into lately? I've known plenty of highly educated, decent parents who had rotten, self-absorbed, worthless kids.
I don't owe it to you, anyone or the world at large to have a kid I don't want. Ditto for billions of other women.
I'm not saying that there aren't people that are going to give you a hard time because of your choices - I'm simply saying that your rights haven't been taken away. There is a difference between people giving you a hard time and not having the same rights as everyone else. You aren't going to be arrested, executed, or locked up because you don't have children.
I live in New York. Being single with out children isn't really a big deal - no matter what your age is. At least not in my social circle.
Clearly, i agree that those are two very different things, but it still feels sad and awkward that anyone should be given a hard time based on whether they're married or have kids. Look at this thread alone and how much close mindedness and social conformity shines through, in every other post. Also, I am pretty sure you are married, so your perception may be a little different than it would be for a single without kids, as you dont have to deal with as much nonsense. Look, its really not that big of a deal, but its little annoying and little dissapointing.
Forcing people to either have children or not have children is utterly ridiculous.
Off topic here, but Ive lived in Europe under Eastern Block Communism where 99% of the population earned the same amount of money, which was calculated and known as the "2+1" concept. What it meant, was that a married couple made just enough money to have 1 child. Look at CHina of recent and many other examples where people have been told how many children to have, or even whether to have children or not. But yes, it is absolutely ridiculous.
Clearly, i agree that those are two very different things, but it still feels sad and awkward that anyone should be given a hard time based on whether they're married or have kids. Look at this thread alone and how much close mindedness and social conformity shines through, in every other post. Also, I am pretty sure you are married, so your perception may be a little different than it would be for a single without kids, as you dont have to deal with as much nonsense. Look, its really not that big of a deal, but its little annoying and little dissapointing.
Well - if you look at the thread - there has been mudslinging in both directions - which is annoying and disappointing for sure. It also seems silly to me since I'm not sure why anyone cares what anyone does with their own life - as long as it doesn't harm anyone.
Yes, I'm married and I have a child. I think it's unfair that single or married people with out children get grief from people about their choices in life. And not to be a debbie downer - but we all get grief from people about our choices in life. I know it's annoying to have to deal with - but when I compare "getting grief" to being denied actual rights - there's really no comparison.
I'm not saying that there aren't people that are going to give you a hard time because of your choices - I'm simply saying that your rights haven't been taken away. There is a difference between people giving you a hard time and not having the same rights as everyone else. You aren't going to be arrested, executed, or locked up because you don't have children.
I live in New York. Being single with out children isn't really a big deal - no matter what your age is. At least not in my social circle.
Do people other than family really give anyone a hard time? I think it's most likely the parents, and perhaps older relatives that might give these guys a hard time. That's how it was with my mom and dad. First it was the marriage thing, then it's the kids thing. As if it I owe to them. I would be very surprised if anybody else gave a flying fig. I suppose you can get it at work, but that can be snuffed pretty easily.
Clearly, i agree that those are two very different things, but it still feels sad and awkward that anyone should be given a hard time based on whether they're married or have kids. Look at this thread alone and how much close mindedness and social conformity shines through, in every other post. Also, I am pretty sure you are married, so your perception may be a little different than it would be for a single without kids, as you dont have to deal with as much nonsense. Look, its really not that big of a deal, but its little annoying and little dissapointing.
FWIW, I'm unmarried, don't have kids, and share Dewdrop93's perspective. I don't get given a hard time, either.
Have people ever asked if my longtime, live-in SO and I are getting married? Sure. Has surprised ever been expressed that while I'm in my mid-thirties, in a long-term relationship with someone whom many may take for my spouse, I don't have children? Now and then, especially by peope who observe how good I am with my students.
Is that being given a hard time, being harassed, being judged, etc.?
Off topic here, but Ive lived in Europe under Eastern Block Communism where 99% of the population earned the same amount of money, which was calculated and known as the "2+1" concept. What it meant, was that a married couple made just enough money to have 1 child. Look at CHina of recent and many other examples where people have been told how many children to have, or even whether to have children or not. But yes, it is absolutely ridiculous.
That's my point - and I hope I'm never forced to eat my words because I'd probably move to Canada or New Zealand or somewhere - but that kind of crap wouldn't go down here.
Do people other than family really give anyone a hard time? I think it's most likely the parents, and perhaps older relatives that might give these guys a hard time. That's how it was with my mom and dad. First it was the marriage thing, then it's the kids thing. As if it I owe to them. I would be very surprised if anybody else gave a flying fig. I suppose you can get it at work, but that can be snuffed pretty easily.
My aunt was the only one that was really pressuring us to get on the baby wagon. We were married for 6 years before we had a baby. I just told her we weren't ready. Which we weren't. So we waited until we were ready. And if we didn't want children - I would have told her that as well. It's the same as my husband's family asking us about religion - I just tell them we aren't religious and it's not likely to change any time in this lifetime. If they have a problem with that - it's their problem, not mine.
FWIW, I'm unmarried, don't have kids, and share Dewdrop93's perspective. I don't get given a hard time, either.
Hmmm, good for you I suppose. Im given a hard time about it from every angle and most of the time i just laugh it off, but at times it really does get annoying. I guess you would expect it from your family, but people at work, random strangers you talk to, people you date or your friends should mind their own business IMO. Ive met many people in RL whom i ve had this exact conversation with, and their stance mirrored that of the OP. Of course these conversations went nowhere, as they were convinced that if you dont follow the norm there has to be something wrong with you.
Starting to think the hatred of humanity is the driving force behind not wanting kids now. If the world is overpopulated, who do you send to slaughter first? My guess is that none of the people who hate others for bringing life into this world will be the first to line up. And what makes your life any more valuable than a baby just leaving its mother's womb? The world isn't a fairly tale place. No parent I know is under the delusion that it is. But to declare that by coercive force, people should not be allowed to have children makes you just as big of an extremist as the dreaded catholic church for its stance on birth control.
I'm noticing this also. Some of these arguments aren't about children, but a dislike for people, in general.
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I would be very surprised if anybody else gave a flying fig. I suppose you can get it at work, but that can be snuffed pretty easily.
