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I have quite a few satisfied customers, but I feel that comes from being in a LTR. I was with my ex-wife for five years, and the whole time I was with her she never orgasmed, and it certainly isn't from lack of effort. The way I describe it is imagine that you are the workout partner of one of the world's top fighters (be in wrestling, boxing, MMA, BJJ, etc) and you try your due dilligence to beat them, only to be defeated all the time. Once you face off against someone else, chances are you're going to be the living daylights out of that opponent.
I also feel that your approach to sex has a lot to do with it. To me, sex is a sensual experience shared between two kindred spirits, and I think that's why my ONS' won't leave me alone after the deed. There are those, however who treat sex as the "ol in-out in-out" and are suited for ONS. To each their own.
I couldn't be more shocked if you'd have told me she had sex with a football team.
To me, it seems like there would be more routine involved in that, since the newness comes from having a new partner...not adjusting, trying new things, experimenting etc etc..
Obviously the individual plays a huge part, but that's a dead end answer and not a fun discussion..
Lots of one night stands. Why? You learn more, and are less inhibited. A person likely to have many one night stands probably has a high sex drive, and enjoys sex.
One partner, forever, dullsville. They are used to a routine.
I agree with everything you've said except the last line....and I would add that the "lots of one night stands" that you speak of can be had with the SAME partner, and that's what keeps the sex from EVER getting "routine", or "dullsville"....there's no need to change partners to experience new and delightful things in the bedroom, and I believe that a willing partner, who is comfortable with you,and who guides you as to what feels best ,can't be compared to a one night stand with a stranger.
I think there is a lot of value to be had in having one partner lots of times, to really learn them and apply what your learning to "improve" the experience.
I say this from experience. Any guy can try some things on a random one night stand. However, when you keep having the same person, you can build off the prior times, learn more, experiment more and in different ways, building on the positives and forgetting the not as great stuff.
My wife had a lot of partners before meeting me (many one night stands), and only one of them could ever get her to O (not a one night stand). So early in her relationship, she basically admitted this to me out of concern that I would be dissatisfied if she wasn't reaching O with me. (and she had not the couple times we had been intimate early in our dating relationship). So, we worked together, and by learning what she likes, what works, we have reached a point where she reaches O regularly and frequently.
So at least in our experience, there is a lot of value to being with the same partner lots of times!
My soon to be ex wife was recently with a guy who claimed to have around 30 partners, mainly one night stands. She said she left disappointed and expected better (sparing ya'll the details, but it sounds like he thought he was making a porn video).
Which got me thinking - does having a high one night stand number create a better lover than someone whose only had one (or a few) partners?
In my experience, the first few times usually suck. It takes awhile to learn what people respond to and what signals to look for. Also some things float to the top, and although not everyone is the same, I think some things are pretty similar..
I don't see how a bunch of one night stands will teach you that stuff..
So - what do ya'll think?
I don't think either of these makes for a better lover. The person themselves are what make the better lover. Being attentive, learning your partners likes and dislikes, not being selfish, being reasonably open to sharing new things, not being afraid to communicate to your partner...those sort of things. A person can have 50 ONS and suck at all of them. How would they know if it's a ONS, right? Then there are people who have had very few partners but the sex was always the same-old, same-old. Having sex with the same person for years and nothing changes or it's the generic missionary position all the time doesn't make anyone a better lover either. I'm a firm believer that variety is the spice of life but both parties involved need to communicate when something is lacking.
The question is silly. Am i trying to satisfy a porn star or a woman that i love. Porn star, i would start practicing with many women. Woman that i love, work it with your heart and learn along the way.
My soon to be ex wife was recently with a guy who claimed to have around 30 partners,
Not a lot pf partners and if most of them are one-night stands it means he had sex about 30 times his whole life which isn't a lot unless you're in HS (and not even then).
I'm betting the average girl these days has about as many partners.
I can attest of a case where a man was a virgin but yet a terrific lover. The requirements are knowledge (apparently ascertained through how-to literature, and other means), attentiveness, unselfishness, a touch of self-assurance, and finally, a bit of patience. Three out of five might have been good enough, but he had them all.
Lucky guy...
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