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By the way, I disagree with the part about a guy's LOOKS being the most important part of an online profile. I didn't feel that way at all when I was on match.com. I looked closely at the written content of the profile - and then when the guy contacted me, I paid close attention to how he expressed himself.
I also wasn't interested in long term emailing and messaging. Just meet early on and see right then and there if there is any chemistry.
It's not rocket science. Put up some decent, RECENT photos of yourself - with your family, your friends, etc. Put some thought into your profile -and be honest. In person surprises are NOT good.
Have a female friend review your profile - and follow her advice on how you can improve it.
I judged to some extent which I know was horrible but some things were unacceptable to me, such as obesity. Sounds cruel perhaps but I am active and want an active partner. Same reason I generally wanted a man who wasn't in a wheelchair or wasn't deaf.
I generally looked at the profile and also looked at their lifestyle. Men who were divorced and had kids were not something I was open to and men with kids and never married the mother was definitely not acceptable. I also wasn't generally open to divorced men unless they were annulled. At my age this narrowed the pool but I didn't care.
I had quite a few horrible surprises but this time doing it I didn't have any horrible experiences. I keep in touch with one guy and would consider him if he lived closer and was older.
I judged to some extent which I know was horrible but some things were unacceptable to me, such as obesity. Sounds cruel perhaps but I am active and want an active partner. Same reason I generally wanted a man who wasn't in a wheelchair or wasn't deaf.
I generally looked at the profile and also looked at their lifestyle. Men who were divorced and had kids were not something I was open to and men with kids and never married the mother was definitely not acceptable. I also wasn't generally open to divorced men unless they were annulled. At my age this narrowed the pool but I didn't care.
Intresting when a male makes a statement as you did above we get bashed for it. While I agree we all tend to want someone who is attrative to us, & not in a wheelchair, etc. Still men are called names talked down to because we want the same thing. Sadly this is a case of more double standards it also allows women to be more selective then us men.
Intresting when a male makes a statement as you did above we get bashed for it. While I agree we all tend to want someone who is attrative to us, & not in a wheelchair, etc. Still men are called names talked down to because we want the same thing. Sadly this is a case of more double standards it also allows women to be more selective then us men.
Well, you didn't exactly give people a lot of time to disagree...
Everyone has their preferences and while I agree that not wanting someone with a disability is rather shallow, as someone with a disability of sorts I can understand why people (men or women) wouldn't want to deal with it. It's a huge pain in the rear and can cause a lot of grief, worry and pain. I've lost potential mates and even friends because of my disorder and while it hurts, it also lets me find out who is truly a good person and who is selfish.
I judged to some extent which I know was horrible but some things were unacceptable to me, such as obesity. Sounds cruel perhaps but I am active and want an active partner. Same reason I generally wanted a man who wasn't in a wheelchair or wasn't deaf.
I generally looked at the profile and also looked at their lifestyle. Men who were divorced and had kids were not something I was open to and men with kids and never married the mother was definitely not acceptable. I also wasn't generally open to divorced men unless they were annulled. At my age this narrowed the pool but I didn't care.
I had quite a few horrible surprises but this time doing it I didn't have any horrible experiences. I keep in touch with one guy and would consider him if he lived closer and was older.
Oh, I don't mean that looks are UNIMPORTANT - it's very important to me that a person takes care of themselves, and is not obese, but generally speaking that ties directly to values and lifestyle which are a critical part of a relationship.
He seemed unusually persistent. I could be reading too much into it but he probably just wants to use her for sex.
ewww good riddance then. which is idiotic in his part if he thinks he'll get any AT ALL! he obviously didn't read my profile.
and good riddance to all guys who cancelled the meet after they didn't like my answer to THAT STUPID question. but thanks for letting me know that question is a code for - i wanna get laid - disgusting.
who have sex on first meet with total stranger anyway? stupid, horny people. and i dont wanna touch those kinds with a 1000000000000000000000 ft pole.
Intresting when a male makes a statement as you did above we get bashed for it. While I agree we all tend to want someone who is attrative to us, & not in a wheelchair, etc. Still men are called names talked down to because we want the same thing. Sadly this is a case of more double standards it also allows women to be more selective then us men.
No one is stopping you from being absolutely as selective as you choose to be. Please don't act like men are not "allowed" to be selective based on how women LOOK. Sheeze!
It's hilarious how guys haven't figured out the online dating scene. For the most part, it's all based on looks so if you're ugly or even average looking, you probably won't have much luck.
Therefore, do something so that you stand out physically, for example:
-If you're out of shape, get in shape (cardio and weights)
-if you're already in shape, start lifting and get jacked/ripped/very toned and take a few pics of you in a form fitting shirt that shows off your arms, chest, and shoulders a bit
-if you need a new hairstyle, get one and make sure you keep it cut before it looks like you even need a new cut
-if you don't dress well, ask a female for advice and ask if they'll even go shopping with you for new clothes (women usually know what other women like when it comes to clothing on guys)
-if you have poor posture, fix it
-if you have bad skin, go see the dermatologist and fix it
-if you have crappy teeth, go see the dentist and get that fixed
-make sure you take a few pictures in a social setting around other good looking people (women want guys who are social and have good looking friends and acquaintances)
I could go on and on about this, but the bottom line for guys wanting to be successful in the online dating world is to BE GOOD LOOKING! Guys need to remember that even ugly/fat girls get dozens of messages per day from guys so keep in mind that you need them more than they need you. Oh, and another thing....try to sound somewhat interesting in your profile.
***if you are looking for a serious relationship that will eventually lead to marriage, leave the pics showing your muscles off the site and take a slightly more conservative approach***
Quote:
Originally Posted by WantToHaveALife
another thing to, is that when it comes to online dating, guys have to make themselves stand out way more than girls do
Online dating sounds like too work, I think I'll stick to doing it the old fashion way.
No one is stopping you from being absolutely as selective as you choose to be. Please don't act like men are not "allowed" to be selective based on how women LOOK. Sheeze!
Yes, we're allowed but we judged for doing so much harsher then a women would be. I have turned down more then a few women because they were not able to hike because of thier health problems. The responses I got were not at all nice. I don't see the big deal myself as I want someone to be able to go on extented hikes with me. This very subject was brought up on here a time or two & all the men were judged badly for it.
Yes, we're allowed but we judged for doing so much harsher then a women would be. I have turned down more then a few women because they were not able to hike because of thier health problems. The responses I got were not at all nice. I don't see the big deal myself as I want someone to be able to go on extented hikes with me. This very subject was brought up on here a time or two & all the men were judged badly for it.
Wait a minute - health problems and looks are two different things most of the time.
I got negative responses online from men I turned down all the time - and I can't think of a single time I turned anyone down based on looks alone. I had men send me messages saying that my profile sounded "stuck up" because I insisted on a man in his forties or beyond having an established, successful career (like I did).
So what? I'd say that my screening worked beautifully.
Well, you didn't exactly give people a lot of time to disagree...
Everyone has their preferences and while I agree that not wanting someone with a disability is rather shallow, as someone with a disability of sorts I can understand why people (men or women) wouldn't want to deal with it. It's a huge pain in the rear and can cause a lot of grief, worry and pain. I've lost potential mates and even friends because of my disorder and while it hurts, it also lets me find out who is truly a good person and who is selfish.
Are they being selfish or just want more then your able to give? I'm not judging as I don't know your condition. But we all want someone who is intrested in doing the same things. Hobbies, etc. I'm sure there are things that you want & if you don't get them then your going to move on, which is fine & your right too. I'm still a tad on the heavy side even though I am busting my butt to get it off yet I have been looked over by women MUCH, MUCH larger then I have ever been. Not that it bothers me they are not my type either. You have to admit there is a double standards of sorts or both sides but I'd have to say it's worse for men.
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