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Old 12-08-2016, 09:39 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,154,262 times
Reputation: 40640

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sprite97 View Post
There is a poster (whom I've been responding to) who feels that it's not a person's business if a potential romantic partner is bisexual.
And if that person thinks it isn't the other persons business, that's fine to.

The person who wants to know can move on if they don't like being told it isn't your business by the person they're dating.

Again, no one is being restricted at all from making choices on who they date or not.

 
Old 12-08-2016, 09:40 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,154,262 times
Reputation: 40640
Quote:
Originally Posted by NancyDrew1 View Post
It is a FEELING, it isn't who you are.
I think a lot of people would consider their sexual orientation to be more than a "feeling".
 
Old 12-08-2016, 09:50 AM
 
16,235 posts, read 25,321,449 times
Reputation: 27049
IMO If his sexuality was not revealed to you prior to your sexual involvement it would definitely be a deal breaker.
 
Old 12-08-2016, 09:54 AM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,779 posts, read 20,094,715 times
Reputation: 43241
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sprite97 View Post
Because some people want to know. It should be their choice if they want to be with someone who is bisexual. If you feel it's no big deal, then what's the big deal and letting people know what they are getting into?
yeah, I wanna know if my dude is into dudes. Which means he no longer would be my partner.
 
Old 12-08-2016, 09:58 AM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,779 posts, read 20,094,715 times
Reputation: 43241
Quote:
Originally Posted by NancyDrew1 View Post
No one has a "right" to know in the first place.
I had a boyfriend who was molested as a child. I didn't have a "right to know" but he did disclose that during that time a dog was involved. So he had weird fantasies about a specific breed of dog. As time passed, they lessened. Why should I care?
It wasn't my business and he has no interest in messing around with dogs in real life anyhow. I was honored he felt safe to tell me, and because we had a solid loving foundation, it was fine.
Well until he got into meth.... high school is so much fun...
If you would have cared aka seen the red flags/signs you would not have gotten involved with a guy who then turns to drugs.
 
Old 12-08-2016, 10:16 AM
 
1,205 posts, read 1,194,490 times
Reputation: 2631
I don't know if I agree with Sprite or not - that I have "a right" to know if my SO is bisexual or not. I've never had a reason to consider it.


Emotional intimacy suggests we will get vulnerable and reveal things about ourselves that are potentially unattractive or scary or shameful or embarrassing or whatnot...therefore I would expect my partner to eventually share that he is bi - regardless of the actions he may or may not participate in. You can be bi but not have sex with your gender. You can think/feel all you want - it doesn't mean one is acting on it.


If he withholds the info for a long time and we get very involved - I assume he is still working on that part of himself, is in deep denial, can't accept it (and suffering as a result), or thinks this is none of my business. I haven't been involved with someone who keeps secrets like this so I do not have an opinion. I do think if you are bi or gay you should just *be* and anyone who knows me knows I am like that. If he is hiding it from himself I'd be more concerned about his emotional wellbeing than what gender he wants to bang.
 
Old 12-08-2016, 10:21 AM
 
6,304 posts, read 9,041,953 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sprite97 View Post
But some bisexual men do claim that they feel something is missing when they are married to women. They miss being with men. I know some bisexual men who actually state this. Go on some bisexual forums. Many of them are with women but still yearn or long for sex with men. They want their wives to be open to threesomes or letting them having a boyfriend on the side.
Yup. And there are also very many bisexual people who are happy as clams in strictly monogamous relationships.

Sexuality has nothing to do with the ability to commit to one person.
 
Old 12-08-2016, 10:34 AM
 
861 posts, read 1,115,964 times
Reputation: 502
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
And if that person thinks it isn't the other persons business, that's fine to.

The person who wants to know can move on if they don't like being told it isn't your business by the person they're dating.

Again, no one is being restricted at all from making choices on who they date or not.
Well, some people don't ask, they might assume the person is straight or gay. I hope the person who might not think to ask, still will be given the choice.
 
Old 12-08-2016, 10:36 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,154,262 times
Reputation: 40640
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sprite97 View Post
Well, some people don't ask, they might assume the person is straight or gay. I hope the person who might not think to ask, still will be given the choice.
What people assume is their problem. If they don't ask, they certainly can't expect to receive an answer. And if they don't ask, they can't have the info to make a choice about.
 
Old 12-08-2016, 10:36 AM
 
861 posts, read 1,115,964 times
Reputation: 502
Quote:
Originally Posted by mishigas73 View Post
Yup. And there are also very many bisexual people who are happy as clams in strictly monogamous relationships.

Sexuality has nothing to do with the ability to commit to one person.
That's true. But I think the problem is that some women can possibly take it if their husband/boyfriend cheats on them with a woman, but I think it's on another level if it's with a man.
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