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What are 'female attitudes'? Wanting to share a panty wardrobe with his wife? Let me assure you, gay married men are those who cover their tracks well, NOONE would know - they have to do it well for not even their wife to know. I've met gay married men who were more masculine the word itself
OK so does this mean that her husband HAS to be gay because of what she describes? If you know that some gays are very difficult to spot then how can I advice her to at least look for some traits, if they cannot be spotted? He may be gay, bi or asexual, he does NOT HAVE TO BE SOLELY or EXCLUSIVELY gay. And let me tell you something- gay men get nervious around men. Regardless of masculine or female traits. The looks, the movements. I ask her if her husband shows this. If no, then the possibility of him being gay is low.
OK so does this mean that her husband HAS to be gay because of what she describes? If you know that some gays are very difficult to spot then how can I advice her to at least look for some traits, if they cannot be spotted? He may be gay, bi or asexual, he does NOT HAVE TO BE SOLELY or EXCLUSIVELY gay. And let me tell you something- gay men get nervious around men. Regardless of masculine or female traits. The looks, the movements. I ask her if her husband shows this. If no, then the possibility of him being gay is low.
Well I am gay and the last thing I get is nervous around other men. If they are straight I pretty much ignore them
its as important as the people involved in the partnership make it. if you're not happy that means it is important to you and need to talk to him.
see how easy that was?
ive had point in my marriage where i am just way too busy to even think about sex. it doesn't mean im not interested in it or my wife, it just means my priorities are shifted at that time (however long it lasts)
Since you bring up religion, it almost sounds as if he treats sex from a more extremest religious point of view that sex is not for pleasure but for creation only. I'd get you and him to talk with your pastor, minister, whatever and I think you'd be hard pressed to find a pastor that would say what he's doing is okay. It's as if he needs a blessing or an okay from a man of the cloth to say it's healthy and God want's you to please your wife.
Get him to check his testosterone levels. If he takes testosterone supplements, his drive will improve.
That is another thing I forgot to mention.
In another post somebody mentioned about me having low testosterone levels. Since I am asexual I don't really need to fix this problem, if it is that what makes me so.
But if your husband chooses to find some help it certainly can help you to improve your sexual life, as well as his.
It's very possible that he has low sex drive due to low testosterone. I've always had a high libido, but due to some medical problems recently my testosterone levels dropped really low. (Just got the lab results this week.) Honestly, I just haven't been interested in sex of any kind recently. Just... not interested. While we (dr & I) are working on the main problem, which has caused the low T levels, I'll be getting a T shot once a month to bring the levels back up where they belong.
Maybe you can get him to have it tested -- simple blood test. I had it done as part of a routine blood workup, but the T check had to be specifically requested. Meanwhile just stay close -- back rubs, foot rubs, etc. will help you stay (or get) intimately close, even if no sex is involved.
Good luck. 40 is way too young to retire from sex.
Oh, and to answer your question, sure some people can have perfectly happy marriages without sex. The question is, can you? We can't answer that. I divorced my first wife, in part, because she had no interest in sex and refused to do anything about it. Any effort on her part would have solved the problem, but I felt she could make some kind of effort if she cared -- seen a doctor, a marriage counselor, explained to me why she wasn't interested -- but she wouldn't talk about it nor do anything about it. After 10-12 years or so of no sex, I told her she had one more year to either explain to me why or to seek professional help of some kind. She refused, so at the end of that year I filed for divorce. It wasn't so much the absence of sex as the absence of intimacy of any kind. I felt like we'd been growing further and further apart each year, and I wanted no more of it.
No offense to any of the posters so far but as I read some of you I really am happy to have decided to stay in a celibate life. I can't register how can I fall in love with someone and just because of lack of sex I would think about filing for divorce or wanting to break the relationship. Whatever happened to all that "I love you", "I need you", etc.... so it is all physical? And some people dare to tell me to fix my possible testosterone problem. I believe most relationships today are a pile of bogus. NO THANKS.
Just a comment.
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