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Everyone has something that someone else would probably consider baggage.
Also, I have never had kids or been married (I'm 41), have a decent job and good education, and I'm not hideous, yet I'm still single. So maybe "baggage" doesn't matter as much as some people think.
So? Either ignore them or say no thank you, you don't have to treat them as inferior beings because you're too high and mighty to waste your precious time speaking to them.
I consider that attitude to be a huge amount of baggage.
These are people I specifically say don't contact me (namely dads)so no I am not going to be nice if they keep begging me to date them. Why would I, after all they didn't read where I stated no dads.
Do you know anyone who is absolutely baggage free??
Yes, actually. A friend married a man who was 58. She was 55. She had never been married. Met via an internet dating site. Dated for 4 months and he proposed. His wife died years ago. No children. Small family all deceased. No pets. Retired early from his government job with a good pension. Owns own home, no debt. Nice personality, intellectual, funny, generous. She had nearly the same lack of "baggage."
From what I see, a man with baggage is a turnoff to some women but women with baggage seems to always land a man.
Some men and women are attracted to emotional fixer-uppers. I used to be one of them. A guy would tell me he's been burned and will never let himself fall in love again, and rather than take it as my cue to exit and find someone ready for a relationship, I would think "Oh, poor baby, I'll show him how good love can be with a good woman, show him I'm different, and in return he'll love me forever". Of course it was just the start of a roller coaster that mainly consisted of me tolerating being treated poorly for way longer than I should have.
In my case, it was probably old childhood patterns repeating, and it took me almost 50 years to finally break them. No regrets though, as it all taught me lessons that helped me get ready for the guy in my life now.
Everyone has baggage and, yes, it implies marketability. There are different types of baggage and different brands. We can all choose what kind of baggage is unappealing, or tolerable, to each of us. The kind of baggage we don't want to deal with is then called a "deal breaker." Since some of the criteria I've had used to exclude me in the past has been fairly ridiculous, I don't have a problem with exercising that same right in return, and most of what I consider "baggage" comes down to basic practical issues. That's why you have 100 million singles in America.
Baggage - Everyone has a different definition of baggage and what the baggage consists of.
I've never been married, but I've been in 5 relationships since high school, and like most people, I've had many disappointments and heart-breaks, but I will not carry such "baggage" with me into a future relationship or marriage.
From a single man's perspective, most women I've met in the last 10 years just can't seem to shed the emotional baggage from their past, and I know it's easier said than done, but it's getting to the point now where most women in my age bracket have been through relationships and/or marriage(s) and they don't want to try it again. The 100 million singles in the U.S. you mentioned doesn't surprise me either.
I have weird emotional tendencies for a female as it is, but I don't really consider myself to have much baggage. I've had a couple failed relationships, one in my early 20's and one more recently but they failed because we weren't right for each other. No big deal, really. There were little things that happened during the relationships that I could dwell on but I don't see the point because I'm not going to date either of those guys again. Onward and upward!
Everyone has something that someone else would probably consider baggage.
Also, I have never had kids or been married (I'm 41), have a decent job and good education, and I'm not hideous, yet I'm still single. So maybe "baggage" doesn't matter as much as some people think.
Hmm..many would think you have MAJOR baggage from your description. I know lots of women who say a man who has never been married by their 40s must have serious issues with interaction, confidence, communication, sex, etc. Not necessarily true (nor am I accusing you of these things) but this is how lots of people "screen". Of course, some of those same women will say "I don't want a guy who is a dad." or "No one younger than me." And therefore stay single.
My most difficult issue is not that others have baggage-- of course they do. My issue is knowing where to draw the line about too much/the wrong kind. I tend to empathize too much.
Baggage - Everyone has a different definition of baggage and what the baggage consists of.
I've never been married, but I've been in 5 relationships since high school, and like most people, I've had many disappointments and heart-breaks, but I will not carry such "baggage" with me into a future relationship or marriage.
From a single man's perspective, most women I've met in the last 10 years just can't seem to shed the emotional baggage from their past, and I know it's easier said than done, but it's getting to the point now where most women in my age bracket have been through relationships and/or marriage(s) and they don't want to try it again. The 100 million singles in the U.S. you mentioned doesn't surprise me either.
I feel the same way. Excellent post.
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