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I think it's only called baggage if you're not over whatever thing happened to you. I had baggage after my divorce. I was a mess, I was angry and sad and bitter...I wasn't ready to date anyone. I could barely get up and go to work sometimes, so anyone who tried to date me during that time period could definitely have said I had baggage. Now my divorce is just an experience, just something that happened, sure it changed how I see things, but I'm not actively dealing with it anymore. I think of the term baggage as a negative thing. But we've all been through breakups, divorces, crappy things from childhood, etc. and most people manage to move on and get over it. The ones who don't have baggage.
I think it's only called baggage if you're not over whatever thing happened to you. I had baggage after my divorce. I was a mess, I was angry and sad and bitter...I wasn't ready to date anyone. I could barely get up and go to work sometimes, so anyone who tried to date me during that time period could definitely have said I had baggage. Now my divorce is just an experience, just something that happened, sure it changed how I see things, but I'm not actively dealing with it anymore. I think of the term baggage as a negative thing. But we've all been through breakups, divorces, crappy things from childhood, etc. and most people manage to move on and get over it. The ones who don't have baggage.
Girl, my sister used to be this way. We would go out for drinks, some guy would come over and she would start rattling off how much men sucked. Then she would get upset that they didn't hang out for more abuse! Un-real. Got to the point where I just had to stop going out with her in public like that for about 2 years. Then she was ready, had dealt with most of her stuff and all was good.
I think its telling that some of the men on here have posted about women having so much baggage. Its not that, fellas. They just TALK about it more. I have dated quite a few guys who had just as many issues. They tended not to be aware of them or discuss them openly. But that didn't mean they weren't there.
Girl, my sister used to be this way. We would go out for drinks, some guy would come over and she would start rattling off how much men sucked. Then she would get upset that they didn't hang out for more abuse! Un-real. Got to the point where I just had to stop going out with her in public like that for about 2 years. Then she was ready, had dealt with most of her stuff and all was good.
I think its telling that some of the men on here have posted about women having so much baggage. Its not that, fellas. They just TALK about it more. I have dated quite a few guys who had just as many issues. They tended not to be aware of them or discuss them openly. But that didn't mean they weren't there.
I've dated men with what I like to call "secret baggage" where they act like a divorce or some big event was no biggie only for me to find out down the line it was all BS and they aren't anywhere near over their divorce or whatever it was. Women are more up front. We don't feel so much pressure to act like things are no big deal maybe.
I think it's only called baggage if you're not over whatever thing happened to you. I had baggage after my divorce. I was a mess, I was angry and sad and bitter...I wasn't ready to date anyone. I could barely get up and go to work sometimes, so anyone who tried to date me during that time period could definitely have said I had baggage.
But we've all been through breakups, divorces, crappy things from childhood, etc. and most people manage to move on and get over it. The ones who don't have baggage.
Very true. You are one of the few women that are willing to admit it. That is usually the hardest step in the process to moving forward and getting rid of the baggage. Wish more would deal with the issues first before jumping into the next relationship. Seems like the cycle of hurt and pain just repeats itself for many.
Awesome!
Last edited by usamathman; 12-26-2012 at 04:54 PM..
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