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It takes two....you already knew how she was, based on your original post. Seems to me you infer she's not the most responsible person, therefore you should have taken the responsibility of getting that vasectomy or using a condom to be sure if you wanted to have sex. Why men always get mad when women say they were using birth control and they aren't is beyond me. Be mad at yourself for not having been responsible yourself by utilizing one of the two aforementioned methods, then shut up and man up and stop whining and take care of all three of your kids. And for God's sake get the vasectomy this time.
Well, my wife stops taking birth control and tells me she is taking it, and I did ask, many times, she is now pregnant..
A couple of questions -
1. if you didn't want any more children, why didn't YOU take care of it?
2. Why were you asking her repeatedly if she was taking the pill? It's not something a man would normally ask, and if he does have to ask, he has suspicions. If he has suspicions, he needs to ensure HIMSELF that birth control is used. This is quite a simple process, all you need to do is stop injecting her with your semen. I don't know why people find this concept so difficult.
Ok, long story but lets see if i can abstract it.
9 Years ago my wife and I married and had a daughter. OK! I joined the Army, stopped being lazy and became very ambitious and hard working. Wife not so ambitious but it is not a flaw as I see it, just who she is. Daughter 2 is conceived after my 2nd deployment, I am injured, retired out of the Army. I go to school now, and I am doing really well. I work hard for my family and my time and energy is stretched thin. This year was supposed to be MY year, where I could be a little selfish: Columbia University, Paris in the summer with the family, both kids semi self-reliant, almost debtless. Well, my wife stops taking birth control and tells me she is taking it, and I did ask, many times, she is now pregnant. Is she holding me back? Should I be angry? Am I being selfish? My wife has been given everything her entire life and has never worked hard for anything, when she makes a mess of something, someone else cleans it up. I always try to blame myself for everything because once you blame someone else, you make yourself a victim, and nothings ever your fault again. "I should have gotten the vasectomy" is what I said to myself, but she told me not to. I know that she does not want another child, but she forgot to re-up her birth control for a couple months. Here is the difficulty: I can be happy with her and my "3"! children, and I can still be successful and see the world, but that type of irresponsible behavior will persist if I just work harder to overcome roadblocks. I want to see the world, and I want my daughters to see the world and to know that America isn't everything there is to know, and my wife doesn't seem to want that. This might explain my situation, my wife wants to travel, but doesn't save money or make money to travel, and when she gets to where she wanted to go, its not to learn and enjoy the people and absorb the culture, but to go to a cool place, take pictures, and brag about it on Facebook. Someone tell me I am just being whiny, and if I didn't want another child, I shouldn't have relied on another.
Your wife is a liar, selfish, and a rapist by deception. It's a thing, look it up. At a minimum I'd divorce her post-haste and get a paternity test on those kids ASAP.
1. if you didn't want any more children, why didn't YOU take care of it?
2. Why were you asking her repeatedly if she was taking the pill? It's not something a man would normally ask, and if he does have to ask, he has suspicions. If he has suspicions, he needs to ensure HIMSELF that birth control is used. This is quite a simple process, all you need to do is stop injecting her with your semen. I don't know why people find this concept so difficult.
Victim blaming, you're doing it. Re #1, how about because she was lying to him about being on birth control! Re #2, he probably had some sort of gutteral reaction to her lies, which believe it or not people can pick up on at an instinctual level. That alone could entirely explain why he kept asking. But again, she lied. The only thing he's at fault for is accepting his wive at face value. Gee, the horror! /s
Victim blaming, you're doing it. Re #1, how about because she was lying to him about being on birth control! Re #2, he probably had some sort of gutteral reaction to her lies, which believe it or not people can pick up on at an instinctual level. That alone could entirely explain why he kept asking. But again, she lied. The only thing he's at fault for is accepting his wive at face value. Gee, the horror! /s
Oh yeah, I was on another comp so there were some typos in my previous post.
She was definitely lying because she planned it. She wanted a baby and he didn't!
Victim blaming, you're doing it. Re #1, how about because she was lying to him about being on birth control! Re #2, he probably had some sort of gutteral reaction to her lies, which believe it or not people can pick up on at an instinctual level. That alone could entirely explain why he kept asking. But again, she lied. The only thing he's at fault for is accepting his wive at face value. Gee, the horror! /s
If you do not wish to procreate, keep your baby batter to yourself.
It's really that simple.
She may not have "lied" at all...even the pill has a failure rate.
IF YOU DON'T WANT A BABY, TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN FERTILITY.
It is insane and totally irresponsible to rely on someone else to do it for you.
Take more control.
1. Get clipped
2. Take control of finances
3. Plan your trips. Figure out how to do it, and go. We traveled with kids all the time. You might have to hold off Europe for some years, but my guess is that it will still be there after the kids are gone. YOu probably have many years of life left. No reason you have to be anxious about cramming it all in in the next 5 years.
If you do not wish to procreate, keep your baby batter to yourself.
It's really that simple.
She may not have "lied" at all...even the pill has a failure rate.
IF YOU DON'T WANT A BABY, TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN FERTILITY.
It is insane and totally irresponsible to rely on someone else to do it for you.
Beyond my control, but it seems like she did. I would think that she would have admitted, "OH, ****! I forgot to take my pill!" or "The pill failed!" What happened to that? She was smug about trapping him. Plus, OP says she was lying.
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