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So? That's exactly what I've posted here earlier. But it doesn't mean she's been having an affair. If she had, she would have kept taking her bc, in order to hide it.
She may not be having an affair, but there's no way in hell the OP should trust her.
Ok, long story but lets see if i can abstract it.
9 Years ago my wife and I married and had a daughter. OK! I joined the Army, stopped being lazy and became very ambitious and hard working. Wife not so ambitious but it is not a flaw as I see it, just who she is. Daughter 2 is conceived after my 2nd deployment, I am injured, retired out of the Army. I go to school now, and I am doing really well. I work hard for my family and my time and energy is stretched thin. This year was supposed to be MY year, where I could be a little selfish: Columbia University, Paris in the summer with the family, both kids semi self-reliant, almost debtless. Well, my wife stops taking birth control and tells me she is taking it, and I did ask, many times, she is now pregnant. Is she holding me back? Should I be angry? Am I being selfish? My wife has been given everything her entire life and has never worked hard for anything, when she makes a mess of something, someone else cleans it up. I always try to blame myself for everything because once you blame someone else, you make yourself a victim, and nothings ever your fault again. "I should have gotten the vasectomy" is what I said to myself, but she told me not to. I know that she does not want another child, but she forgot to re-up her birth control for a couple months. Here is the difficulty: I can be happy with her and my "3"! children, and I can still be successful and see the world, but that type of irresponsible behavior will persist if I just work harder to overcome roadblocks. I want to see the world, and I want my daughters to see the world and to know that America isn't everything there is to know, and my wife doesn't seem to want that. This might explain my situation, my wife wants to travel, but doesn't save money or make money to travel, and when she gets to where she wanted to go, its not to learn and enjoy the people and absorb the culture, but to go to a cool place, take pictures, and brag about it on Facebook. Someone tell me I am just being whiny, and if I didn't want another child, I shouldn't have relied on another.
You did nothing wrong short of wearing a condom however why should you wear one? When your wife stated she was taking her BC?
I THINK THIS is very selfish since you expressed your desires, you already have two beautiful children, she has been allowed a life that has allowed her to enjoy without real toil as most women have to do? Not complaining because I love to work, challenge myself continually.
I feel if she really wanted to have another child? This should have been a topic for discussion no matter if she knew you were against it. If she knew she did, you should have been allowed to know the truth and your opinion.
Second, she did not RENEW her BC script? This is something that she should have brought to your attention. Period and end of story.
Long story short? I am only sharing this because of your situation, not stating that this is the solution for your family..
My twin sister whom is (38) has 3 children, one from a previous relationship ( he is almost 22) …and 2 children from my brother-in law, my youngest nephew is 12, that is a 10 year gap from his older brother. My nena, my niece whom turned 4! In November 8 years younger than her youngest brother and 18 years younger than her oldest brother!
Her middle child attends private school and this is costly. Her daughter is watched by our mother whom is 63 and our 67 year old newly retired father 8 hours a day..
She is a controller of a huge AG corp that recently bought another co on the east coast doubling her work..My brother is a senior manager of a driving c o. Bad enough they cannot take any time off…
My sister comes to me the day after new years and states that she is pregnant again with her 4th child and she and my bro-in-law that have been against termination had decided on termination…
She stated what you did..”we did not use a condom” “I told him to get fixed” “It was after a xmas party and we were both tipsy”
They both decided that a 3rd child was not feasible and they made the choice.
She had the preg. Terminated I drove her and she cried, stated all the reasons she could not do it again…Having a little one and doing it all over again, their ages, the quality of life, the experiences they had hoped to share and so forth..I know it tore her up, she is still not over it. She had her tubes tied during the procedure…
My message? This was truly accidental, they did not have any protocol except condoms in place..noone to blame..
Your situation? Was preventable…100% Your wife was supposed to be on BC and she knew when she stopped taking it and did not insist on condoms and lied to you about taking it still after you asked her several times..
I would have a serious sit down since she did not seem to respect your wishes…
Not sure how you know that. He doesn't even say that.
Either he loves her or he doesn't. People have sex, they get pregnant. Get fixed, or prepare for children.
I'm not saying she is or isn't having an affair. However, he flat out asked her if she was taking birth control and she lied. She didn't forget to take it, she didn't take it for months. She is not trustworthy.
Yes, people have sex and get pregnant. The bigger issue is the fact that she lied to him about taking BC and purposely got pregnant, knowing that's not what he wanted. What does that say about how she views him and their marriage? It tells me she only cares about herself. The pregnancy is the least of their issues, IMO.
Ok, long story but lets see if i can abstract it.
9 Years ago my wife and I married and had a daughter. OK! I joined the Army, stopped being lazy and became very ambitious and hard working. Wife not so ambitious but it is not a flaw as I see it, just who she is. Daughter 2 is conceived after my 2nd deployment, I am injured, retired out of the Army. I go to school now, and I am doing really well. I work hard for my family and my time and energy is stretched thin. This year was supposed to be MY year, where I could be a little selfish: Columbia University, Paris in the summer with the family, both kids semi self-reliant, almost debtless. Well, my wife stops taking birth control and tells me she is taking it, and I did ask, many times, she is now pregnant. Is she holding me back? Should I be angry? Am I being selfish? My wife has been given everything her entire life and has never worked hard for anything, when she makes a mess of something, someone else cleans it up. I always try to blame myself for everything because once you blame someone else, you make yourself a victim, and nothings ever your fault again. "I should have gotten the vasectomy" is what I said to myself, but she told me not to. I know that she does not want another child, but she forgot to re-up her birth control for a couple months. Here is the difficulty: I can be happy with her and my "3"! children, and I can still be successful and see the world, but that type of irresponsible behavior will persist if I just work harder to overcome roadblocks. I want to see the world, and I want my daughters to see the world and to know that America isn't everything there is to know, and my wife doesn't seem to want that. This might explain my situation, my wife wants to travel, but doesn't save money or make money to travel, and when she gets to where she wanted to go, its not to learn and enjoy the people and absorb the culture, but to go to a cool place, take pictures, and brag about it on Facebook. Someone tell me I am just being whiny, and if I didn't want another child, I shouldn't have relied on another.
Run as fast as you can. I guess not so fast that you leave your children in the dust, but please, for all of mankind, don't sentence yourself and all your potential to a life of that. Don't do it.
I'm not saying she is or isn't having an affair. However, he flat out asked her if she was taking birth control and she lied. She didn't forget to take it, she didn't take it for months. She is not trustworthy.
Yes, people have sex and get pregnant. The bigger issue is the fact that she lied to him about taking BC and purposely got pregnant, knowing that's not what he wanted. What does that say about how she views him and their marriage? It tells me she only cares about herself. The pregnancy is the least of their issues, IMO.
I'm not saying she is or isn't having an affair. However, he flat out asked her if she was taking birth control and she lied. She didn't forget to take it, she didn't take it for months. She is not trustworthy.
Yes, people have sex and get pregnant. The bigger issue is the fact that she lied to him about taking BC and purposely got pregnant, knowing that's not what he wanted. What does that say about how she views him and their marriage? It tells me she only cares about herself. The pregnancy is the least of their issues, IMO.
I don't believe we know that it is a fact. I also don't believe that it is "the bigger issue". You are entitled to your opinion, however.
It seems this type of deceit from woman is becoming more and more commonplace. It absolutely outrages me. My pet peeve has always been lying and deception, but this type is worse because you are creating life haphazardly. I'd be outraged. This type of deception in a marriage is just another reason why I feel marriage is antiquated. You think you know someone...
It's not that marriage is antiquated. It's that more people have lost their commitment to it (as you alluded to in your statement about more women being deceitful).
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