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So you only care about the father - and not the children?
Using that logic, a woman should get a free pass for any transgression that would cost her money that could be used for the children, or would put her in jail for a felony where she can't take care of them. It seems that the justice system does NOT give women a free pass because she has children, so how is this different? She cheated, lied, and stole - through fraud and deceit - this man's time, money, support, happiness, and peace of mind, which also resulted in his losing the chance to have his own biological children. If anything, she got off too easy, and the children haven't really suffered all that much - the mother poisoned them against their father. He still wants to be part of their lives. She bears responsibility for that, by her initial actions, and actions have consequences.
Using that logic, a woman should get a free pass for any transgression that would cost her money that could be used for the children, or would put her in jail for a felony where she can't take care of them. It seems that the justice system does NOT give women a free pass because she has children, so how is this different? She cheated, lied, and stole - through fraud and deceit - this man's time, money, support, happiness, and peace of mind, which also resulted in his losing the chance to have his own biological children. If anything, she got off too easy, and the children haven't really suffered all that much - the mother poisoned them against their father. He still wants to be part of their lives. She bears responsibility for that, by her initial actions, and actions have consequences.
What logic? I'm simply pointing out that the poster posted 3 posts - and none of them even mentioned anything that the children were going through.
It's interesting to see from the posts on here that most men and women seem to see different things. Most women feel bad for the kids. Most men feel bad for the father and want even more revenge on the mother. Women want to protect the children and men envision themselves as the father and can't see anything beyond that. I don't think any woman has given the mother a free pass or condoned her actions. But as a mother myself - the first thing I think of in any situation is the children. I feel awful for the father - I can't imagine what he must be going through - but I still think of the children first. Whatever the sins of their mother - they did nothing to bring this on themselves. And I really don't see how the children will ever be okay in this situation. Would you be okay if your mother lied about who your father was and then the only man you ever knew as your father basically told the world that he was no longer your father?
Then he's a weak man and father and I probably wouldn't be too keen to be around him, either. He sounds more concerned about propogating his DNA than being an actual father.
do u no wat it feels like to raise 2 children that u love and would die for then to be told that ur not there dad nd that ur wife cheated twice 'not once' twice...... to have lost everything that u have built for the children that u thought were urs . and then to have the children turn there bks on u. until u no how that feels then u have no idea...... it dose not make him weak it makes him human ?
Perhaps your emphasis on the children is a gender issue. Women think of the children a little more because they always know who the mother is. Maybe men can more deeply relate to the huge betrayal she perpetrated on him. Not that the children don't matter, it's just that they aren't the focus of the article. Besides, how is this all that different than any other divorce scenario? It isn't, and children are often harmed there as well, yet divorce hasn't declined, nor have bad divorce scenarios where the adults aren't very adult.
Would you be okay if your mother lied about who your father was and then the only man you ever knew as your father basically told the world that he was no longer your father?
I can understand it might be difficult to understand for a child or even a teenager, but any grown up man or woman would understand his reasons for going away later in life.
Perhaps your emphasis on the children is a gender issue. Women think of the children a little more because they always know who the mother is. Maybe men can more deeply relate to the huge betrayal she perpetrated on him. Not that the children don't matter, it's just that they aren't the focus of the article. Besides, how is this all that different than any other divorce scenario? It isn't, and children are often harmed there as well, yet divorce hasn't declined, nor have bad divorce scenarios where the adults aren't very adult.
Women do not think of children more because they always know who the mother is. Maybe it's instinct or nature or whatever - but when you are a mother - you see all children differently and you want to protect them. These children were harmed far worse than normal children of divorce. And I've seen even worse things happen as well. When the parents start putting themselves first and stop thinking about the children - the children suffer and it's horrible to see.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JayN
I can understand it might be difficult to understand for a child or even a teenager, but any grown up man or woman would understand his reasons for going away later in life.
But these are not grown ups. Perhaps they will understand later. I hope they do. But this didn't happen later - it happened now.
Perhaps your emphasis on the children is a gender issue. Women think of the children a little more because they always know who the mother is. Maybe men can more deeply relate to the huge betrayal she perpetrated on him. Not that the children don't matter, it's just that they aren't the focus of the article. Besides, how is this all that different than any other divorce scenario? It isn't, and children are often harmed there as well, yet divorce hasn't declined, nor have bad divorce scenarios where the adults aren't very adult.
Or perhaps women tend to think of others first and men just think of themselves first.
Just saying. We can all paint with broad brushes if we really wanted to.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,701 posts, read 41,824,046 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
What logic? I'm simply pointing out that the poster posted 3 posts - and none of them even mentioned anything that the children were going through.
It's interesting to see from the posts on here that most men and women seem to see different things. Most women feel bad for the kids. Most men feel bad for the father and want even more revenge on the mother. Women want to protect the children and men envision themselves as the father and can't see anything beyond that. I don't think any woman has given the mother a free pass or condoned her actions. But as a mother myself - the first thing I think of in any situation is the children. I feel awful for the father - I can't imagine what he must be going through - but I still think of the children first. Whatever the sins of their mother - they did nothing to bring this on themselves. And I really don't see how the children will ever be okay in this situation. Would you be okay if your mother lied about who your father was and then the only man you ever knew as your father basically told the world that he was no longer your father?
No, but I would completely direct my rage toward my mother since she is the one who created the situation. My father would not be telling the world anything that is not true or that he caused. Sadly, the ball would be in his court due to the circumstances.
No, but I would completely direct my rage toward my mother since she is the one who created the situation. My father would not be telling the world anything that is not true or that he caused. Sadly, the ball would be in his court due to the circumstances.
Honestly, I have no idea what the mother has been telling her children so I don't know what they believe - but I think it's easy for outsiders to say who they would blame because we are outsiders. But the children are not outsiders and they are not adults. They don't see things the way that we do. I remember getting so angry at my mother for not letting me go out on dates before I was 16 or not letting me go to certain parties. I was furious! As an adult - I understand why she did the things that she did - and I will probably do the same with my children. But like I said, children don't see the big picture - and who knows what their mother has told them. And like I KEEP saying - I think the mother is a piece of crap. But having your father make a public spectacle of you and denounce you as his children is no walk in the park. I don't think either parent is a saint here. And yes, the father was only put in this position because of the mother's actions - but I wonder if he still feels his revenge was worth it.
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