Spelling and grammar while Online Dating (issues, unattractive, perfect, free)
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My bf now is not a great speller, but I don't care. His profile reflected well on him because he took the time to make sure it did.
And what if a complete idiot took the time to spell check or had a friend write their profile? Is that a false representation? Like a girl using a picture from 10 years and 30lbs ago?
Here is my experience. I work with people who are extremely well-spoken and can give motivational speeches to rooms of hundreds without so much as stuttering. Some of these well-spoken individuals cant write worth a damn- I know I edit their speeches/pitches all the time.
I'm in grad school with people who write extremely well, but cant put a coherent sentence together orally due to lack or experience/social awkwardness etc.
Just because someone speaks well doesn't mean they're an excellent writer. Just because someone cant write well doesn't mean they aren't intelligent, are lazy or cant communicate orally.
Okay, but my experience is different from yours. In this thread, I'm not demanding people write with the fluidity of James Joyce or Wallace Stegner. I'm speaking of the ability to sit down and write simple declarative sentences. I've worked with hundreds of clients from the executive suite on down. And I have found that people who could not write at the basic level were insufficient thinkers.
And what if a complete idiot took the time to spell check or had a friend write their profile? Is that a false representation? Like a girl using a picture from 10 years and 30lbs ago?
Well, just like that girl who has put on the pounds, it would become utterly clear on the first (And only) date. It's not as if people are deciding to marry someone based on his or her Plenty Of Fish profile. It's just the first impression. And if someone cannot even be bothered to get that right, then when will they care?
Here is my experience. I work with people who are extremely well-spoken and can give motivational speeches to rooms of hundreds without so much as stuttering. Some of these well-spoken individuals cant [can't] write worth a damn- I know[,] I edit their speeches/pitches all [of] the time.
I'm in grad school with people who write extremely well, but cant [can't] put a coherent sentence together orally [,] due to lack or experience/social awkwardness etc.
Just because someone speaks well doesn't mean they're an excellent writer. Just because someone cant [can't] write well [,] doesn't mean they aren't intelligent, are lazy or cant [can't] communicate orally.
...maybe they should get a better editor!
Continual use of the wrong word or spelling is a symbol of their laziness...like having to have someone else do it for them...laziness.
And what if a complete idiot took the time to spell check or had a friend write their profile? Is that a false representation? Like a girl using a picture from 10 years and 30lbs ago?
I never suggested someone have someone actually write it for him, but no, I don't think eliminating glaring errors is the same as using a 10 year old picture. To me it (using spellcheck) is more like the person 30 pounds overweight taking the time to make sure she wears something that flatters her for her picture rather than, say, spandex pants that showed every roll. It's not misleading to present your best self or to make an attempt to make a good impression.
Continual use of the wrong word or spelling is a symbol of their laziness...like having to have someone else do it for them...laziness.
Cyborg, I normally don't agree with anything you post lol, but I have to say, I did notice the grammatical errors and word omission in that post. Visually and intellectually, it bothered me; but I didn't want to point it out as you did. That doesn't mean when a person does this that they're not otherwise intelligent to a certain degree. But for me, a person should be able to write a sentence or a paragraph without having to always use "spell check". It's a turn off (for me) to read a posting, e-mail or message from a person that has glaring spelling and/or grammatical errors in it. Maybe I just notice them too much; but, I can't help it.
Cyborg, I normally don't agree with anything you post lol, but I have to say, I did notice the grammatical errors and word omission in that post. Visually and intellectually, it bothered me; but I didn't want to point it out as you did. That doesn't mean when a person does this that they're not otherwise intelligent to a certain degree. But for me, a person should be able to write a sentence or a paragraph without having to always use "spell check". It's a turn off (for me) to read a posting, e-mail or message from a person that has glaring spelling and/or grammatical errors in it. Maybe I just notice them too much; but, I can't help it.
And build on your point, stumbling over those misspellings and bizarre syntax actually impedes the communication that the author is trying to make. Good writing is nothing more that facilitating the flow of ideas between one person and the other.
And build on your point, stumbling over those misspellings and bizarre syntax actually impedes the communication that the author is trying to make. Good writing is nothing more that facilitating the flow of ideas between one person and the other.
True. But, this is one of the preferences that I had when it came to men I wanted to date or get to know better. I'm happily and blissfully taken, so this is no longer an issue with me. But when I was single, it was a preference that I had with the guys I dated. It was definitely in the top five on my list. Intelligence is a HUGE turn on for me; and that included a guy spelling words correctly, expressing his ideas and thoughts in an interesting and intelligent manner and being grammatically correct when he composed a message, text or e-mail. A lot of people don't care about that, and this is their choice.
The thing that really gets me is that I consider myself to actually have poor English skills. So if I'm noticing someones' poor writing enough to bother me...it's got to be really bad!
A simple word or punctuation can definitely change the entire meaning of a sentence.
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But when I was single, it was a preference that I had with the guys I dated. It was definitely in the top five on my list. Intelligence is a HUGE turn on for me; and that included a guy spelling words correctly, expressing his ideas and thoughts in an interesting and intelligent manner and being grammatically correct when he composed a message, text or e-mail. A lot of people don't care about that, and this is their choice.
