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Did I say anything about the semicolon, the most useless bit of punctuation ever? In fact, let me use the semicolon more times than I have ever done in my entire career of writing: ;;;;;;. There.
Here's what you don't seem to get. You don't walk out into public looking like a slob, do you? You don't stroll into a party or a job interview looking as if you just rolled out bed, unkempt and without having taken a shower in a couple of days? You don't dress in the first few items pulled from your closet, regardless of whether they match or not?
Just as that kind of inattention to your person tells others about you from a physical standpoint, poor writing tells others about your mind. And when so much of human interaction takes place in the world of words, whether on CD or a dating site, how you write tells the world what kind of person you are. Like it or not.
When I go to the gym I dress one way. When I go to work I dress another. When I go to the bar I dress another. When I go to upscale dining I dress another.
Likewise, when I am home with friends/family/bf I speak or write to these people one way. I write for professors in expository or practical style. At work I write emails in plain English, while work documents for outside distribution are written in business or technical style.
I am getting my masters in professional writing. I find it interesting when people judge others based on their ability or inability to write "correctly" (spelling, grammar, punctuation etc). Especially since a majority of people will never need to utilize those skills in any serious context anyway. Seems like another petty thing to add to a bs checklist.
I know I mess things up all the time as far as online is concerned. How am I/or anyone more capable to judge?
Sure, we all do when on forums, etc. But I bet when you wrote your resume, you used spell check or otherwise double and triple-checked to make sure it presented your best self. IMO an online dating profile should do the same thing, so when one has multiple, glaring grammatical errors, it does say something about the person, the care they put into it, and whether or not they care of the impression they're making. There is a reason an HR manager would toss an error-filled resume, and I wouldn't say they are "judgmental".
When I go to the gym I dress one way. When I go to work I dress another. When I go to the bar I dress another. When I go to upscale dining I dress another.
Likewise, when I am home with friends/family/bf I speak or write to these people one way. I write for professors in expository or practical style. At work I write emails in plain English, while work documents for outside distribution are written in business or technical style.
Its called public v private space/face.
Ah. I see the problem. You seem to think that we want everyone strolling around speaking as if they were characters in a Henry James novel. Nothing could be further from the truth.
At the same time, even in verbal communication, even in more relaxed styles of writing, there's an enormous difference between occasionally mispronouncing a word or getting mixed up on subject/verb agreement in mid-thought and displaying total ignorance of English, the most beautiful, precise and versatile thing ever devised by man.
Show me someone who simply massacres their mother tongue in every single sentence, and I feel as if I'm dealing with someone with diminished mental capacity. And almost the entirety of the educated world feels the same way. I don't care if you are presenting a paper, at a job interview, on a date, or at a party. You are doing enormous damage to your image, and essentially telling the world to treat you like an imbecile.
However, let's get back to the original point of this thread: If an adult cannot tap out a few sentences on a dating site that at least prove of an education beyond the third-grade level, then it reveals a lot about that person.
Sure, we all do when on forums, etc. But I bet when you wrote your resume, you used spell check or otherwise double and triple-checked to make sure it presented your best self. IMO an online dating profile should do the same thing, so when one has multiple, glaring grammatical errors, it does say something about the person, the care they put into it, and whether or not they care of the impression they're making. There is a reason an HR manager would toss an error-filled resume, and I wouldn't say they are "judgmental".
Someone who may not spell check their dating profile receives a a sweeping generalization of being lazy across the board? All I am saying is I wouldn't care. Someone's ability to type or write well does not reflect laziness, stupidity or anything relating to things I am concerned with in a relationship.
Someone who may not spell check their dating profile receives a a sweeping generalization of being lazy across the board? All I am saying is I wouldn't care. Someone's ability to type or write well does not reflect laziness, stupidity or anything relating to things I am concerned within a relationship.
Of course it does. If we are talking about a person of normal intelligence, poor grammar and lousy spelling indeed reflects the following:
1) The person in question snoozed his or her way through countless English classes and didn't retain a thing.
2) The person cannot be bothered to use spellcheck. I mean, on CD, it automatically highlights misspelled words.
3) The person did not read his post to see if it made the slightest bit of sense.
What's more, if you're going out on a date with someone for the first time, would you show up in a mismatched outfit with uncombed hair? Of course not, because first impressions count. And the words people write on their online dating profiles are the first impression other people get. Having a profile filled with bad grammar and misspelled words makes you look as if you were the village idiot, and therefore not good dating material.
Here is my experience. I work with people who are extremely well-spoken and can give motivational speeches to rooms of hundreds without so much as stuttering. Some of these well-spoken individuals cant write worth a damn- I know I edit their speeches/pitches all the time.
I'm in grad school with people who write extremely well, but cant put a coherent sentence together orally due to lack or experience/social awkwardness etc.
Just because someone speaks well doesn't mean they're an excellent writer. Just because someone cant write well doesn't mean they aren't intelligent, are lazy or cant communicate orally.
Are we talking using slang here or someone who occasionally mispronounces a word or says "Amy and me" instead of "Amy and I"?
It all depends on the context...either could be correct!
Basically, the whole thing comes down to the level of attention the person pays to themselves and those around them.
If they can't take the time to take their thoughts seriously and make them clear, why should I?
Someone who may not spell check their dating profile receives a a sweeping generalization of being lazy across the board? All I am saying is I wouldn't care. Someone's ability to type or write well does not reflect laziness, stupidity or anything relating to things I am concerned with in a relationship.
I would feel the same way about it as if they showed up on a date with a dirty shirt. Their ability to spell is not the issue, it's whether they take the time to use a spell check program or have a friend proofread it for them. I would imagine most people know by adulthood if they are not good writers or spellers, and if someone knows that, why not take the extra step to make sure they're putting their best foot forward in their profile? When I was online dating, I was serious about meeting someone, and because of that I spent a very long time crafting my profile. Why is it wrong to expect that level of care and effort from someone else? I just feel you get what you put into things.
My bf now is not a great speller, but I don't care. His profile reflected well on him because he took the time to make sure it did.
I want to add, I am not talking about a misspelled word here or there. But I have read profiles that read like "I hop you like dogs becaze i have too of them". There is NO excuse for that in the age of computers.
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