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I agree with this. I think more married couples than not would also agree with this. You are either in a committed relationship or you are not and it is that simple. Seriously, if your sexual priority is number one, you will face a lot of hurdles along the way and I probably would avoid having children for sure!
No kidding. I think a lot of the folks in the "no way, not me, I'd leave" crowd here are shooting in the dark, whether it's because they've never been married, never had a serious relationship, are young and don't have a lot of life experience, whatever. It's like they expect married life, or even long-term relationships, to be one big sex-fest. As Dew mentioned earlier, it's easy to talk about imaginary spouses. Come talk to us when you've been married for 10, 15, 20 years, and the person who means the most to you in this world, the one you've built a life with, made a home with, been through thick and thin with, had children with, gets sick.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Apotamkin_Renesmee
True love and compassion for the person you're with should and can override the ever so tiring biological (or "primordial") instinct excuse that sooooooooooooooooo many men use ad nauseum. Every time I read posts from some of the men on this site, I thank my LUCKY STARS that I have the man that I have!! I feel so sorry for all of the single women out there who have to deal with men like this in their lives. I can see and understand why some women hop the fence. The dating pool of decent, mature men who have a moral compass and stellar character traits is probably drying up by the day.
I sense that a lot of the folks coming out so stridently in favor of just leaving a spouse will one day look back on their own commentary with a certain amount of chagrin. So here's more salt for those margaritas.
A "primordial instinct" could be just about anything of human nature that is considered normal, since the beginning a mankind, as we know it. Human instincts aren't necessarily something inherently biological, but possibly cultural. There was nothing wrong with my verbiage, thanks.
Having sex is one of those things, and if you're in a sexless relationship (which it appears you probably are), then that is usually an indicator that something may not be right in the relationship.
Mod cut: Rude personal barb.
Primordial has nothing to do with something "cultural", which is a notion or way of thinking developed over time depending on one's environment and life experience. So, there's plenty wrong with your "verbiage". As far as the rude personal barb that you made against me and my personal life, it has already been noted by a moderator, so I don't need to elaborate on it further. You did that because you're not mature enough nor intelligent enough to have a civilized, educated discussion. It's okay, we understand.
Having sex is one of those things, and if you're in a sexless relationship (which it appears you probably are), then that is usually an indicator that something may not be right in the relationship.
You're still arguing an irrelevant point, though. This isn't about will, it's about way. You're implying that this is a choice indicative of problems in the relationship. The rest of us are talking about catastrophic illness or injury. Those are two very different things.
For the purpose of the discussion, assume the relationship is strong and wonderful, and boom, accident, now the person is paralyzed from the waist down and can't have vaginal sex anymore. Oral and manual are still on the table, and your wife is ready, willing, and able to do those things with and for you.
Now, I am thinking this. Say if a woman or a man got some disease which prevent them from having sexual intercourse with their spouses. Is it a reason enough to abandon the spouse due to lack of sex
Your thoughts please
example: chemotherapy / testicular cancer / breast cancer / etc.
Firstly, the agreement of a marriage is that you are making a commitment to be supportive of your partner, give them your devotion and love - because that's what love is, and of course this is a given if your partner is giving you the same treatment. If you can't do this, especially in the most important circumstance when they actually need you, then maybe you shouldn't get married.
Now, with that much said, of course physical intimacy and the pursuit of that aspect of satisfaction is also part of the agreement. But life isn't always good times and great health. The strength of your marriage is going to be tested, and if you can't do it then maybe that kind of struggle isn't for you. But many people handle it every single day without divorcing.
For some it would be reason enough to leave, but for others it's more reason to stay, get creative and improvise. It really depends on each individual's own willpower.
Leaving a spouse in a time of sickness due to lack of sex is rather shallow and mean though, in my opinion.
Primordial has nothing to do with something "cultural", which is a notion or way of thinking developed over time depending on one's environment and life experience. So, there's plenty wrong with your "verbiage". As far as the rude personal barb that you made against me and my personal life, it has already been noted by a moderator, so I don't need to elaborate on it further. You did that because you're not mature enough nor intelligent enough to have a civilized, educated discussion. It's okay, we understand.
Primordial is a description of time, like "from the beginning", and I was explaining that sex is, in fact, a primordial instinct from the beginning of our evolutionary process.
And I love the irony of your personal attack above.
I have yet to hear of a married woman or man who ran out and cheated for 'oral and manual sex ONLY.' Yet some so stupidly insist that a faithful spouse who is used to regular intercourse is going to stay in a 'manual oral sex only' marriage for 5, 10, or however many years. LOL. Just because some 'expert' has been married for 15 or 20 years doesn't erase the fact that people who are married for all lengths of time get divorced every day for the most miniscule of things: "he won't help with housework" or "she's spending too much money on beauty products/shoes/handbags." FIXABLE problems -- but a spouse with longterm health problems who can't engage in intercourse? Oh, no they wouldn't leave over that. Ridiculous, LOL.
No kidding. I think a lot of the folks in the "no way, not me, I'd leave" crowd here are shooting in the dark, whether it's because they've never been married, never had a serious relationship, are young and don't have a lot of life experience, whatever. It's like they expect married life, or even long-term relationships, to be one big sex-fest. As Dew mentioned earlier, it's easy to talk about imaginary spouses. Come talk to us when you've been married for 10, 15, 20 years, and the person who means the most to you in this world, the one you've built a life with, made a home with, been through thick and thin with, had children with, gets sick.
I sense that a lot of the folks coming out so stridently in favor of just leaving a spouse will one day look back on their own commentary with a certain amount of chagrin. So here's more salt for those margaritas.
But keep in mind, some of these "folks" will always retain their underdeveloped mindset because it's easier for them to go through life like that than to attain wisdom and intelligence by way of learning from their (and other's) life experiences. By the way, what kind of margaritas do you like? I love strawberry but am open to other flavors.
But keep in mind, some of these "folks" will always retain their underdeveloped mindset because it's easier for them to go through life like that than to attain wisdom and intelligence by way of learning from their (and other's) life experiences. By the way, what kind of margaritas do you like? I love strawberry but am open to other flavors.
Pray tell how your mindset is any more 'developed' when all you've done here is throw out another tired insult instead of looking at it from someone else's perspective? You've offered zero commentary on how you KNOW most spouses would stay besides "I have wisdom and intelligence over others." LOL. And not sure what makes you think everyone else with an opposing opinion isn't learning from their own (and other's) life experiences? Join Lilac for margaritas flavored with hypocrisy & self aggrandizement.
Don't ya, though?! So do I! What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
Have a wonderful day!
Believe me, I have no doubt you love everything you write. No doubt in my mind...
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As Dew mentioned earlier, it's easy to talk about imaginary spouses. Come talk to us when you've been married for 10, 15, 20 years, and the person who means the most to you in this world, the one you've built a life with, made a home with, been through thick and thin with, had children with, gets sick.
I feel so sorry for all of the single women out there who have to deal with men like this in their lives. I can see and understand why some women hop the fence. The dating pool of decent, mature men who have a moral compass and stellar character traits is probably drying up by the day.
Join Lilac for margaritas flavored with hypocrisy & self aggrandizement.
