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I told you guys this because I have 2 questions.
1. Was it wrong for her boyfriend to come to me with his frustrations?
2. Was I to harsh?
1. Her bf needed input/support for helping her, so I do not think it was wrong that he came to you, her good friend. Maybe you should not have mentioned this to her though.
2. No, she needs help. There may be some psychological or medical issues causing her to gain so much weight, so quickly. That is a lot of weight. She needs to see her Dr. about this to rule out medical causes and recommend a course of action. Tell her you can go on the appt. with her. Continue to try to offer support even if she pushes you away.
1. Her bf needed input/support for helping her, so I do not think it was wrong that he came to you, her good friend. Maybe you should not have mentioned this to her though.
2. No, she needs help. There may be some psychological or medical issues causing her to gain so much weight, so quickly. That is a lot of weight. She needs to see her Dr. about this to rule out medical causes and recommend a course of action. Tell her you can go on the appt. with her. Continue to try to offer support even if she pushes you away.
I hear people always talking about smoking being so bad for your health but the real problem is obesity in America.
My friend ( let's call her gigi) has gained over 150 lbs over the course of two years. She's now around 300+. She says she needs to lose but she doesnt take any control of her body. Her boyfriend of 5 years is getting aggravated. He tries to he subtle and give hints about her weight gain but she gets depressive. So he tells me all of his problems.
Me and Gigi have been friends since elementary. This is my girl, I love her. So today I told her. The weight is a problem and she has to do something about it. I'll be her support system anything she needs. She says I'm no real friend and accused me of trying to take her boyfriend.
I told you guys this because I have 2 questions.
1. Was it wrong for her boyfriend to come to me with his frustrations?
2. Was I to harsh?
I would say that her boyfriend wasn't wrong to approach you, but that this is a conversation for him and her. He shouldn't count on you to do his dirty work.
Were you too harsh? It's hard to say because none of us were there. We don't know how you approached the conversation with Gigi, though I would be inclined to give you the benefit of the doubt and guess that you did it in a respectful manner. But even if you did, it is a sensitive issue. Overweight people are more and more becoming excoriated by mainstream culture. It's not just a push to be healthy. Sentiments have pushed way past that point. People are beginning to develop a genuine dislike for overweight people. It's sad, really. So when you approach this with your friend, I'm sure that it is a very sensitive topic to her, and that she is counting on you as a friend to accept her as she is. Even if you disagree with some of her choices.
I hear people always talking about smoking being so bad for your health but the real problem is obesity in America.
My friend ( let's call her gigi) has gained over 150 lbs over the course of two years. She's now around 300+. She says she needs to lose but she doesnt take any control of her body. Her boyfriend of 5 years is getting aggravated. He tries to he subtle and give hints about her weight gain but she gets depressive. So he tells me all of his problems.
Me and Gigi have been friends since elementary. This is my girl, I love her. So today I told her. The weight is a problem and she has to do something about it. I'll be her support system anything she needs. She says I'm no real friend and accused me of trying to take her boyfriend.
I told you guys this because I have 2 questions.
1. Was it wrong for her boyfriend to come to me with his frustrations?
2. Was I to harsh?
it's not your buisness, gigi or whoever isn't 'your girl,' she's his girl. All you can do is offer advice but stay out of it for the most part. If she doesn't want to lose weight then that's her choice -- he can stay or leave. Contrary to their belief, men cannot dictate what a woman does with her own body.
Contrary to their belief, men cannot dictate what a woman does with her own body.
Of course not, but, as her LT BF, he may be worried about her health and emotional well-being. Gaining that much weight in such a short period may signal medical/psychological problems.
it's not your buisness, gigi or whoever isn't 'your girl,' she's his girl. All you can do is offer advice but stay out of it for the most part. If she doesn't want to lose weight then that's her choice -- he can stay or leave. Contrary to their belief, men cannot dictate what a woman does with her own body.
Your right. It's their relationship. But I'm concerned for her too you know?
Of course not, but, as her LT BF, he may be worried about her health and emotional well-being. Gaining that much weight in such a short period may signal medical/psychological problems.
I highly doubt he's worried about her 'emotional well being and health.' It's usually some other issue going on that's not being put out there but people love to throw out the 'I'm just concerned for you' stuff because it sounds good. As I said, even if he is worried about her 'emotional well being and health,' she's not. So then he's back where he started -- overly involved in someone else's buisness. There's nothing he can do about another person's eating habits.
Of course not, but, as her LT BF, he may be worried about her health and emotional well-being. Gaining that much weight in such a short period may signal medical/psychological problems.
He's not worried about her health, just her attractiveness. If it was a health issue he wouldn't have gone behind her back to get her friends to do his dirty work.
Your right. It's their relationship. But I'm concerned for her too you know?
I know he is genuinely worried for her.
I think it's ok for you, her good friend, to talk to her about it as it is a health issue AND the change occurred rather quickly. This sounds like there is a deeper problem. Awhile ago, I had the opposite problem - I lost a lot of weight in a short period and was too skinny. I looked sickly. I had a few people in my life who were honest enough to tell me I did not look healthy. They cared enough to push to find out what was going on in my life emotionally, so that they could help me.
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