Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Human beings are opportunistic, and we like to get away with things. With social media I've seen a lot of inappropriate behaviors such as flirting, private messages, comments, etc. from people who are married, in relationships or just playing around and trying to get away with it. It's easier to be sneaky via FB, and easy to reach out to somebody else if there is a problem in your current relationship. Maturity seems to be a vanishing trait, unfortunately.
I don't get why people think social media makes it easier to catch a cheater than it is to cheat. I would love to hear the reasoning behind these two premises. Mostly I was unaware that it's difficult to cheat using social media.
Cheating (and getting away with it) requires varying degrees of privacy depending on the dynamics of the situation. The more active you are on social media, the less private your life is. I'm not saying you can't pull it off, but it's one more obstacle that cheaters must overcome in today's world.
It's pretty much the same theory as in academics: online content makes it easier to plagiarize, but it also makes it easier to catch plagiarization. Cheaters will leave an online trail: emails, wall/forum posts, IMs, etc. If one was suspicious, it's not hard to find out who they've been talking to and what they've been saying.
Ohhh okay, I get it. I actually do think that most cheaters get caught from texting.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Viking
Human beings are opportunistic, and we like to get away with things. With social media I've seen a lot of inappropriate behaviors such as flirting, private messages, comments, etc. from people who are married, in relationships or just playing around and trying to get away with it. It's easier to be sneaky via FB, and easy to reach out to somebody else if there is a problem in your current relationship. Maturity seems to be a vanishing trait, unfortunately.
The other thing I wanted to bring up is how I know people use Facebook to be mean to their real life partner or make them jealous. Or maybe they don't do it on purpose but it has that effect, maybe from talking about them to other people in public or by flirting with other people they don't like openly to make them jealous and their partner sees it. What a shame.
I don't even have Facebook but my best friend tells me all the drama of it all the time. So much drama.
how can you blame it on facebook. there not the ones holding a gun to the persons head and telling em to cheat. if they wanna screw around then that's there choice and sometimes if people feel like they can get away with something then they will do it and I don't feel sorry for em one bit once they get busted. but no facebook don't ruin relationships it's hot the people using the site use it
When it comes to its effects on relationships and fidelity, texting is like social media on creatine.
Same dynamic (makes it easier to cheat but also easier to get caught) but even more pervasive and insidious.
Also with texting, you can get everything but face to face interaction. They can tell you exactly what you want to hear sexually, which is actually more erotic reading than it is having someone tell you. They can also send you pictures and videos with remarkable clarity.
The opportunity to be unfaithful is more abundant.
Ah, but one can say they don't take it seriously, but secretly can be trying to hook up, when the wife is away.
That does happen......
This is part of the problem. It makes it very easy to stay in touch with people, which is a mixed blessing.
I had a Facebook account for a couple of years, mostly people I knew from work and some old high school friends and family. There was a novelty in being able to see stuff others were doing.
When my marital status changed from married to single, I was immediately contacted by an old high school flame (who was married). It seemed innocent enough, I was going through a difficult time personally, and we had coffee together. It took an immense amount of willpower for me to stop at the coffee and realize what a mistake I was making. Facebook didn't cause this to happen, but it enabled it. Prior to Facebook, I would never have told her I was single. And the Facebook announcement put a private email to me one click away from my old friend. This experience awoke me to the subtle way Facebook changes social interactions.
I realized how easy it was for people with little willpower to use Facebook as a way to hook up with people in their life. If you want to know when a potential love interest, ex love interest is free, Facebook is there to pass on the news. Facebook can also help thieves know when people are away from home.
It also makes if very easy for people who want to visit you when you are not home and who might covet the way-cool computer and stereo system in the background of your cover page photo, to pay a visit when you are out flashing your smile (etc) with your BFF (4NOW) on a H3LLA Gr8 cruise,in, OMG, Hawaii or trolling for mardi-gras beads on spring break. So as you "check in" to yet another bar with your BFF4NOW in , OMG CanCun, and another picture some future employer will love to see shows up on google earth showing the world where you are hanging out and accumulating even more beads, someone deep in your friends of friends web of connections could be using a very professionally prepared map to pay a visit to your house and "check in" in your absence even as they tweet a thank you for accepting their friend request from John Smith, who sat across from you in 3rd grade bible school. You remember John, right?
When I subsequently got married, it bugged me that my wife had her ex-husband on Facebook. I realized from my own experience, how much information from her (our) life Facebook would immediately deliver to her ex.
If everyone on your friends list (and probably your friend's friends lists) has your best interest in mind, there is no problem. You may even be able to figure out how to sort your friends into "close" and "acquaintance" status, and remember how to specify your audience on each posting.
However, the problem is that you really can't control the motivations of your contacts on social media sites.
Even if you control your friend's list, It's not always straightforward to see who can see your information. While Facebook has made some changes to make things more obvious, it's been my experience that they tend to make the most permissive permissions automatic. And NOTHING prevents someone from copying a post or picture to use in any way they want. Once it's put into Facebook, you are at the mercy of your friends to treat your images and personal information privately.
From my witnessing of the types of squabbles that break out between people, in public, on Facebook, I know that it's hard to know if your BFF4NOW will be your BFF4EVER, or just want to 4getU. And the new TIMELINE feature provides a very well organized picture of your life that can be VERY revealing to anyone who wants to obsess about your comings and goings and your friending behavior. It's one thing to keep a diary in your bedside table, it's quite another to keep that diary on Facebook.
After several updates to Facebook, including the far too invasive "timeline," my wife and I both dropped our facebook accounts.
Last edited by SomethingShiney; 03-27-2013 at 01:50 PM..
Reason: grammar
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
. if they wanna screw around then that's there choice and sometimes if people feel like they can get away with something then they will do it and I don't feel sorry for em one bit once they get busted. but no facebook don't ruin relationships it's hot the people using the site use it
