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Jk, I never behave like that. Have never begged for a guy to take me back. Wouldn't even know what that would feel like, because once it's over, it's over. I live my life always moving forward, no regrets.
No, I'm suggesting the problem might be him. Some men have lots of crazy exes because they drove them crazy. True you can make sure you do not allow yourself to be driven crazy but that may not stop him from later describing you as such. I suspect he is part of the problem here- he needs to be direct with her, like it or not. Some people just don't get it otherwise.
Since your BF isn't more assertive, I have to wonder if you are really getting the whole story.
What does your kid think of her mom being involved in so much drama...typically it is teenagers that go for the drama, but not so in your house, a bit of a role reversal.
My kid is 18.... She is happy that I have met such a nice guy. That is what adults do, they are happy when good things happen for people they care about.
Drama is only drama if you let it affect your life, I am attempting to minimize the drama as much as possible, which is why I sought advice.
No, I'm suggesting the problem might be him. Some men have lots of crazy exes because they drove them crazy. True you can make sure you do not allow yourself to be driven crazy but that may not stop him from later describing you as such. I suspect he is part of the problem here- he needs to be direct with her, like it or not. Some people just don't get it otherwise.
I agree, wholeheartedly. Unfortunately, for me to tell him to do this or do that, makes me that kind of controlling girlfriend that guys just don't want.
My kid is 18.... She is happy that I have met such a nice guy. That is what adults do, they are happy when good things happen for people they care about.
Drama is only drama if you let it affect your life, I am attempting to minimize the drama as much as possible, which is why I sought advice.
All I have received so far is much appreciated.
Well if you are talking about stand your ground, doesn't seem like you are at all trying to minimize drama, almost sounds like you want some sort of standoff.
Maybe it is because I am older, though I suspect we are probably close in age, but if I seriously had one thought about "stand your ground" it wouldn't be worth it. If I would ever get back in the dating market, no way would I want a guy who wouldn't handle the situation
Yeah she is 18, about to graduate soon, I'm guessing..seems like you'd be more focused on that, than standing your ground. Honestly a guy that won't handle the "drama" wouldn't sound too nice to me...maybe I've had different life experiences though.
I agree, wholeheartedly. Unfortunately, for me to tell him to do this or do that, makes me that kind of controlling girlfriend that guys just don't want.
No it makes him take responsibility for the situation. You then choose if you want to be with a guy who seems to lack the skills to address a sitaution you are inferring could lead to violence.
No it makes him take responsibility for the situation. You then choose if you want to be with a guy who seems to lack the skills to address a sitaution you are inferring could lead to violence.
Most violence is connected to something domestic, outside war and terrorism, but i will not live in fear of it. I have chosen to move forward with him, what he may lack in one area he makes up for in others. My original question was about the voicemails, and her unprofessional conduct that relates to them.
No, I'm suggesting the problem might be him. Some men have lots of crazy exes because they drove them crazy. True you can make sure you do not allow yourself to be driven crazy but that may not stop him from later describing you as such. I suspect he is part of the problem here- he needs to be direct with her, like it or not. Some people just don't get it otherwise.
I agree with you. This guy has a so-called crazy ex stalker who in fact isn't stalking but is being very annoying. He isn't doing anything to diffuse the situation, and now we have the OP contemplating a variety of scenarios as payback and has let it be known she will "stand her ground" (a call for violence of course) if something happened involving her child at school. The OP is starting to act crazy and doesn't even know it. The man is a coward who is unwilling to stick his neck out to better the situation. The OP will be the next "crazy, stalker ex-girlfriend" in this guy's life.
This is your boyfriend's problem and since it's his ex who was around before you came into the picture, he should take the responsibility to send her an email telling her she needs to stop contacting him and you. He's obviously not telling you something since it seems they ended their relationship in not the clearest way possible. She has to have some sort of idea in her head that she has a chance to get back with him if she puts enough effort into this. Your boyfriend needs to go back and fix this detail by making it clear to her that he won't be getting back with her.
Just because she's now inappropriately contacting you does not transfer the situation or responsibility into your hands. What you've told us about contemplating action on your part is enough to tell us you're taking the wrong kind of steps when he should be the one to fix the situation.
And no, it doesn't make you a controlling girlfriend to ask him to send her one straight forward message telling her she needs to quit bugging you. If he cared about your well being, he'd grow a pair and take care of this mess of an ex-girlfriend. He has way more power to do that than you do because he's involved and an instigator in this broken relationship with her, you are just an unwilling target getting involved.
I agree with you. This guy has a so-called crazy ex stalker who in fact isn't stalking but is being very annoying. He isn't doing anything to diffuse the situation, and now we have the OP contemplating a variety of scenarios as payback and has let it be known she will "stand her ground" (a call for violence of course) if something happened involving her child at school. The OP is starting to act crazy and doesn't even know it. The man is a coward who is unwilling to stick his neck out to better the situation. The OP will be the next "crazy, stalker ex-girlfriend" in this guy's life.
You are entitled to your opinion.....
Funny, that is what she calls him, in the emails and texts, and yelling at him from her car as she passes by.
Curious, coming from her perspective, he is a coward for not reacting. He is actually doing what he was told to do. Not respond, ignore her and it will stop. I believe that is what they used to say about bullying too. I think it actually makes it worse, at least in my experience.
This is your boyfriend's problem and since it's his ex who was around before you came into the picture, he should take the responsibility to send her an email telling her she needs to stop contacting him and you. He's obviously not telling you something since it seems they ended their relationship in not the clearest way possible. She has to have some sort of idea in her head that she has a chance to get back with him if she puts enough effort into this. Your boyfriend needs to go back and fix this detail by making it clear to her that he won't be getting back with her.
Just because she's now inappropriately contacting you does not transfer the situation or responsibility into your hands. What you've told us about contemplating action on your part is enough to tell us you're taking the wrong kind of steps when he should be the one to fix the situation.
And no, it doesn't make you a controlling girlfriend to ask him to send her one straight forward message telling her she needs to quit bugging you. If he cared about your well being, he'd grow a pair and take care of this mess of an ex-girlfriend. He has way more power to do that than you do because he's involved and an instigator in this broken relationship with her, you are just an unwilling target getting involved.
Thank you. That is the most well thought out, rational response I've gotten so far.
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